Monday, January 29, 2007 || Genting
- Hellooooo world.
- I was dancing with the cutest guy on the dance floor, some foreigner dude who was SO FUCKING HOT, and some chick pulled me away. And told me to talk to her brother, who wanted my number. I was super polite and promised him a dance, but I quickly scampered away to find the hot stuff I was dancing with ... only to find him not on the dance floor anymore.
WTF! Why lah I go layan her! - Veen and Grace were dancing with two super cute guys, who were in the same gang as the hot stuff I was dancing with. The WHOLE GANG were all so cute can die. They were from the middle east ... hohoho.
Second-hottest-guy I was eyeing asked me to dance, and I did.
Finally, a proper update! *squeals* ...... Right. =.=
Anyway, this weekend was a BLAST! I didn't go home at all. :D
Friday was really fun ... ah. Then on Saturday, Veen Win, Grace and I had an impromptu trip to Genting. :D
And we didn't come back till Sunday! Despite not having a place to sleep. Wtf.
Okay this is officially my first proper post since ... SO long ago. Cos for some reason, I don't camwhore much anymore. I'm surprised at myself. Even in Genting, didn't take a lot of pics ...
In Ripley's Believe it or Not:
(went for the Ripley's pontianak haunted house thing too, which was super lame but I still freaked out and screamed. =.=)
Me and old wax lady
Haha this pic is funny! We look like fat midgets with ghosts sprouting out of our heads.
Snow world:
(Which was kinda lame, but it was fun throwing snowballs at people, even strangers. Mwahahaha!)
Camwhoring in the toilet:
"Wow" was one word to describe our first time clubbing in Safari. Before we entered the club, we solemnly vowed that we were all single for the night (Oh wait, I AM single).
Highlights of the night:
While dancing, we talked a little (or rather, screamed, since the music was so loud), and at one point, he leans in and whispers "You're so beautiful".
OMGWTF!!!111 SO SHWEET! I nearly fainted. Oklah I shouldn't be gloating 'coz he could've been drunk or something and couldn't see my face properly ...
But the impact was so big 'coz he is officially one of the hottest people I've ever seen in my whole life. I know I exaggerate a lot, but he (and the first dood I was dancing with) is ... HOT. Flawless features and all the shit.
*fans self*
I nearly jumped off a cliff when I realized that I forgot to take pics with the fucking hot guys I made friends with. No pictorial evidence at all. *grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
Ok lah a lot of funny shit happened in Safari, but I'll leave that all to your imagination. ;) I wanna go there again!
Am currently in a very dreamy and sleepy state, despite sleeping from 3pm till 8pm. *yawn* I have shitloads of assignments to do ... but I don't seem to have any "drive" to do 'em anytime soon. O______O
Labels: pictures
Friday, January 26, 2007 || "Player"
- Okay so my internet is up and running again *big grin* and I came online to chat a bit. While chatting with a friend and catching up, I was was jokingly labelled a player.
... Damn funny. O.o I don't have the looks, attitude nor the charm to ever pass off as a player. Not even a player-wannabe yo.
So in my mind, a player is like ... somebody who fools around a lot and finds it really hard to remain chaste. And probably has huge problems with commitment and sticking to just one partner ... or probably just likes playing around a lot and enjoying the thrill of the chase.
I ... for one, am totally single. I have my boundaries, and I'll stick to them, as long as the fun doesn't come with a price that's too high for me to pay. (which explains the lack of a sex life since ... forever)
But I daresay that someday when I feel bored of all the pointless coquetry and flirting ... and when I finally find somebody I could commit to, I would never cheat on him or fling around anymore. O.o
I'm not like a great person, but why would I ever consciously hurt anybody, right?
I know a number of players. And honestly, players don't really rank very high on my 'most hated kind of people' list. For instance, I STILL hate people who judge and gossip, or backstabbers even more.
Example 1: "Wah ... you know, XXX isn't a virgin leh! Interesting huh ... "
Example 2: "You know what I found out? XXX isn't a virgin ... Oh my GOD I didn't know she was such a slut you know, she looked so fucking innocent and all ... Now you know lah ... Plus that day she was flirting with YYY ... surely slept with him also lah ..."
I dunno about you, but even though two of the above can be considered as "gossip" ... if I was XXX, I would merely shrug at Example 1 (assuming the gossip was true) but I would be FUCKING PISSED if people talked about me like in Example 2.
I mean, I think that people should own up to whatever they do, no matter how shitty. And I would too. But people who place unnecessary judgements ... especially if they're my friends ... are totally bastards. Worse than players, if you asked me. =.=
It's like this ... players are usually pretty easy to spot. Well, unless you're some kinda innocent dood who still believes that the world is lovely and sweet. And since, for me, I can practically smell a playboy from 10 feet away ... I don't see what kind of a threat the supposed playboy could ever pose on me. Or any other girl with functioning brains.
If I still fell for a player, despite already KNOWING that he has itchy groins, who else do I have to blame but myself, right? -_-
I would probably date somebody with a rep for being a total bastard ... for whatever reasons. But I doubt that I would really CARE about the person ... like how I cared for dickface or Mr. vodka.
I guess I feel somewhat bad for them as well. Having a string of girls and guys to fuck and toy around with must be pretty cool and ego-boosting ... but possibly nobody who really genuinely cares? Or if there really were people who sincerely cared ... they'd probably end up hurting those people and pushing them away anyway.
(something I've had experience with ... *cries*)
Wah ... I can't believe I typed so much shit about players. Anyway, I think that I've passed the point of actually caring about other people already. I don't mean 'other people' as in friends ... but other people like, people whom I'm not close with and yet they still assume that they know me.
I used to be fucking pissed everytime I suddenly find out that I'm being judged, misunderstood, or painted in a very unflattering light. But now ... I'm kind of immune.
Which is kinda scary. Coz last time when I actually cared about my (already shitty) rep, it was one of the things in life that held me back from going over the limit. Now that I don't seem to care anymore ... the only thing that's holding me steady is my conscience. O.o And common sense.
P.S. Have a weird confession to make. The whole player thing ... I actually told my friend just now that I'm not a player, but if I was a guy, I probably would want to be one. Just to, you know, have loads of fun before I finally settle down for good. *helpless shrug*
But I'm a girl ... with my hormones and emotional tendencies, I'm forced to be stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Labels: musings
Thursday, January 25, 2007 || WTF!
- Please pardon the sudden usage of vulgar language.
WTFMAGEHAI STREAMYX!!!!1111 PUKIMAK!
Okay okay ... the sudden outburst is 'cause of the fact that my internet connection is like, DOWN. For two days already. I've suddenly realized how dependant I am on the internet ... =(((
Magecinapek! -____________- Ptui!
P.S. Am feeling quite happy at the moment, actually. :D
Monday, January 22, 2007 || First things first
- John is finally back from his vacation. YAY!!!!! Classes have been SO boring without him. Am really looking forward to catching up with him :D and update each other about all the shit we've been up to.
Damn, I want a to go on a roadtrip with all my close friends. It'd be so fucking fun to collect stories and experiences together.
Oh yeah, I really didn't go home at all for the weekend. It was a REALLY weird weekend ... 'coz Veen and I managed to change our plans at least 5 times in a night. So in the end, we ended up ffk-ing people (and being ffk-ed), hung out with various people in 4 different places ... only to end up in her room at 5 a.m with four cans of beer. Was a super funny weekend, come to think of it ...
And today, had dinner with a friend. During dinner, I suddenly asked her, "Have you ever had sex in a CAR?"
(okay, don't ask me how the question suddenly popped up)
she: "Obviously!!! Who hasn't?"
And for some weird reason, I immediately shouted, "FUCK YOU!!!!", with my eyes wide. With the sudden realization that everybody in the restaurant was staring at my outburst. Hahaha
(and for the record, *I* haven't had sex in a car. Or anywhere else, for that matter, wtf)
Anyway, I've realized that I have so much less time nowadays for more mundane stuff like watching TV, blogging, and etc. How lah how lah? I *know* that I can't be as entertaining (if I ever was, hah) as I used to be anymore. So what happens to my once-beloved blog? Will it slowly die off as some blogs do as I update less and less? =(((((
I've also realized, today, that my "I have nothing to hide" life philosophy applies in almost every aspect of my life. Even though my friends were over and shit, if they entered my room, they'd find magazines, CD covers, and even underwear (haha wtf, I know) all over the place. =.=
You'd think that I ought to at least pretend to care. But I just ... don't.
I think that it's time for a change. I'm glad that I never got hooked on smoking (and even drinking, actually), but there are a lot of stuff that I do that I'm not proud of. Which is kind of freaky ... 'cause I've noted that the guilt doesn't come anymore.
But I dunno, I guess I'll just take things one step at a time. I'll start with the small things ... like a new hairdo. :D
Okay, gonna continue immersing myself in my so-called newfound busy life. And continue my self-proclaimed journey of self-discovery. *wtf*
Labels: general
Friday, January 19, 2007 || I see the light
- Today, I received a letter from college congratulating me on my results and being one of the top scorers.
(please pardon the smug CB face)
WOOTNESS!!!11111one
And my moral lecturer told me over lunch that I was only one mark behind the two top scorers for moral studies. DOUBLE W00Tness!!!
(damn, why didn't I get that ONE mark? shit!)
Of course, everything good has to come with something bad. Today, I got chastised for wearing short skirts to college. LOL
Yea yea yea, I know that I have a wardrobe malfunction, but WHO CARES YO. :D
(And yes, this is to signify that I'm not feeling very repentant ... nor am I gonna start shopping for below knee-length skirts or anything. Do I look like I have the cash to spare?!)
I tried to show the "letter of appreciation" whatever to my parents. Hopefully to con them into giving me more moolah ... $_$
But my plan didn't really work at all.
Dad: "Not bad wor! But since when did you ever study? The only time you're at home was the time I caught you smoking in your room"
Me: "...... Errr ...... I have incredible brain power!"
Dad: "Hmph. Then don't need reward lah. But since I'm so nice ... Na, give you RM10"
WTF! Now I know where I got my kiamsap-ness from. -_______-
Anyway, I decided to STOP being so bloody emo and wake up to smell the coffee. (Haha wtf?) I have lotsa shitty stuff going for me, true, but I also have a lot of good stuff going for me. It's time to take my own advice and lighten up. :D
Am currently brainstorming of ways to not spend my weekend at home. My house is SO boring ... but don't tell my parents that, okay? Heehee
Labels: general
Thursday, January 18, 2007 || feeling empty
- I've been on a frenzied quest to fill up all of my days. And it's been working pretty well - I've been busy. Busier than ever.
It's like this. I'm desperately doing everything that I can - following John to his church, seeking whatever opportunity to drink, movie marathons with Andrew and Veen, etc - all to avoid being at home alone. For some weird reason, I just don't want to stay alone in my room, doing nothing ... And I'm doing everything I can to avoid it.
'Cos when you're alone, lying in your bed, you tend to think a lot. And for now, I don't like thinking, 'cos I inevitably end up thinking of the person I am. And the person I am becoming. Frankly, not really sure if I still like that person.
It's kinda depressing. So much that I sometimes purposely think of him or something, to take my mind off the more important issue - Me.
(Am fervently blogging now 'cuz I didn't fill up tonight's time slot with anything unnecessary to do)
I can genuinely say that I've never really felt this way before. I mean ... I've always been kind of sure of who I am, who I want to be, and for most of my life, I've succeeded at being the person that I expect myself to be. But now ... where am I? What am I doing? Who the fuck really am I?
If I was a guy, I'd definitely be some kinda bastard player. I want kisses. I need intimacy. I don't need some insecure fucked up person who makes me fall in love and then fucks up my life.
I just want to be in control ... yet sometimes, feel like I belong somewhere. No matter how fleeting the moment is.
But ME, being a girl, can't do that. Bloody unfair huh? A guy's a player and he's a god, a girl's a player - she's a slut. It's SO sad that if I told everyone that I'm a virgin - 80% would spit and laugh. Whereas there are girls who look more innocent than me who are fucking around, and nobody gives them the hard time of having a bad reputation.
Am actually kinda pissed off at how unfair the world is right now. I'm just SO afraid that I'll someday become someone that I don't recognize anymore. Someone who treats other people like dirt in order to protect herself? Someone who'll manipulate her way to the top? Someone who sleeps around?
I do doubt that I'll ever sleep around or simply lose my virginity. Not because of religious reasons. Not because I'm saving myself for my husband yada yada ...
But mainly because I don't think I could ever stand the potential feeling of being used. Unless *I* was the one who raped the guy and used him, not the other way around, but that obviously is highly unlikely.
Which is why I think that God planned for me to be female. If I was a guy ... I'd be an asshole. 'Cuz I've been hurt before, am currenly relationship phobic, very cynical, and people are just not worth hurting over.
It's kinda sad that no matter how busy or fun my day was ... I always end up lying in bed feeling kind of empty. Like I have no idea where all the time went.
Damn, I need hugs. I need kisses. I wanna nuzzle into someone's neck and have him tell me that everything will be okay.
But no more wishful dreaming ay. Must stay away from boys. Must not repeat mistakes.
But actually, I do know what will make me feel contented. For now. An hour-long bath, and then ice-cream in my bed, while watching The Break Up. Ah ... thank God for the small, uncomplicated things in life.
Labels: personal
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 || Gasing Hill
- (2nd blog post in less than two hours. Sorry lah i just suddenly felt like it)
I've always had a dream. A secret longing.
For some reason, I've always wanted to go up Gasing Hill really late at night with a guy I really like ... I don't know why Gasing Hill. I mean, all they have there are monkeys and couples making out ...
But I've always thought that it'd be really romantic to gaze at the whole of PJ together. To stare at the skies (and monkeys), our hands entwined with each other, and whispering mushy stuff to each other that nobody else will ever know about.
Last year, I REALLY wanted to go up there at night with the guy I really liked. I just knew that if there was anyone who could help me live out my perfect Gasing Hill dream, it was definitely him. But somehow, we were always so busy and things were always so complicated ... we never ended up going at all.
I always imagined that when we were up there, sitting on the benches, he'd whisper sweet nothings into my ear like he always did, wrap his arms around me like noone else would, and make me feel like he belongs to me and I to him. We'd giggle at all the chattering monkeys and peek at the couples (if any) making out and make dumb comments together.
But. The dream was not about to come true. It turned out that all the sweet nothings he whispered were REALLY nothings ... that when he wrapped his arms around me, it didn't mean much to him, not like it did to me. And the sad reality was he never belonged to me, and I probably wasn't the only girl who felt like he was my world.
All in one go, my Gasing Hill fantasy was crushed. Even though we never actually went up there and did those things. I swore that I'll never feel this way again, that I'll never let anyone creep into my life and make me want to believe in love. Not him, not anyone, not anymore.
Sunday night, I went up Gasing Hill with John and Veen. I sat on the bench and stared at the whole of PJ, watching a monkey climbing around while talking to my friends. Then it started to rain ... and I couldn't help but think, 'This would've been my perfect fantasy if he was here ...'.
But I also knew then that all the hurt was ... gone. Just like the rainwater dripping down the trees and into the earth. I don't feel the huge sense of betrayal and loss anymore. I don't feel like choking the breath out of him whenever I see him, not anymore. The 'he' I was referring to isn't him anymore.
I am definitely more cynical than the person I was before ... all the shit. But it's weird that I STILL want to go up Gasing Hill late at night with somebody that I really like, someday. And maybe we really will hold hands and talk about everything on the dirty bench. Or maybe we'll merely drink canned milo and stare at the scenary in silence.
My fantasy was destroyed once ... but it can be rebuilt, revamped and renewed. It'll be different, but it'll still be nothing short of a dream come true.
I hope.
Labels: personal
- OKAY TODAY IS A BLOODY GOOD DAY.
I got back my results today. *big grin* Damn happy ah!
For some weird reason, I got a 4.0 for my English 101. Wheeeeee! I was SO sure that my English-A record was gonna be broken. And also a 4.0 for my graphics. :D
Which means that my C.G.P.A is still 3.75. *biggggass grin*
Please forgive me lah ... but since I'm usually so humble and all, let me brag a bit for once. =D I'm happy with my results, but I know that I don't really deserve it that much ... I mean, this is a girl who sneaks out in the middle of the night to drink vodka and studies the night before the exam?
I guess I just lucked out. But luck or whatever, it doesn't make me any less happy. W00t w00t.
Okay, so I kinda forgot what I was gonna blog about. Seriously, my life has been kind of a ... blur. Everything's happening so fast ...
However, ever since best-friend Jaclyn left, I'm pretty surprised that I actually seem ... BUSIER than usual? Is it because I'm finally out of my comfort zone and forced to adapt in other environments other than the one that I'm used to?
Really weird. And oh, I didn't go home at all last Friday night ... and on Saturday morning, I went on a spontaneous road trip to Genting with a bunch of friends. O_o Didn't take any pictures, though ... Mainly 'cos everybody looked like shit without sleep. Especially me. HEH
Oh yeah ... I finally remember what I was gonna blog about! My BIG ego.
Can you believe it that I got REALLY pissed at someone 'cause I apologized to him, and he didn't seem to take my apology seriously and made the whole deal seem like a really small thing?
Okay it *was* a really small thing ... but it took me A LOT to say sorry okay. T_T
I hate saying "I'm sorry", "I miss you" and "I like you". But when I say it, it takes out a lot of pride from me, and when people take it lightly, my ego gets super bruised. =(
There was one time last year, when I was on the phone with the guy I liked, and I told him that I missed him ... but after I said it, I thought I could hear some dude giggling in the background. I wasn't entirely sure; I could've heard wrongly or it could've been the TV or something ...
But I immediately ended the call and sent him a very pissed off SMS. Words like "fucker, joke, funny, trusted" were included in the message ...
When I think of it now though, wasn't I totally overreacting? =( My ego is SO huge that even the possibility of being treated as a joke irks me. =(
No wonder I'm almost always single. =( My ego is bigger than my butt.
I have no idea how to "cure" my overly big ego and pridefulness. Help needed.
On another note though, John is going to Bali and my friends and I will miss him SO MUCH for one week. :( AND OH ... I REALLY NEED TO HUG SOMEONE. Cos despite my big ego shits, I'm still quite happy ... it's been a great week. :)
*looks around for hot stranger to give a big bear hug*
Labels: general
Friday, January 12, 2007 || Goodbye blogworld
- I am gonna quit blogging, cos I've realized that the only times that I actually *feel* like blogging are the times when I'm bloody bored and/or super emo.
.... :( :( :( Goodbye.
... Ok lah I was only bullshitting. OMG I musn't quit blogging! I MUST NOT! If not it'll go into the expanding list of 'Things Eliza Quit' (which includes drums, guitar, trying to stop cussing, blabla).
I WILL PREVAIL. Actually the weirdest thing really is, whenever my life is interesting and smooth-sailing, I really don't seem to have much of a mood to post up pics or blog. =/ Why ah?
(Actually I *am* too lazy to even upload pics to my comp anymore. They're all stuck in my memory card ... maybe forever)
Okay actually the whole point of this post was to announce that when I was paying my bill at this restaurant today, the guy at the cashier said to me, "Thanks leng zhai ... ...... *looks again* OMG I MEAN LENG LUI"
OMGWTF IS THIS! Do I look like a guy to you?! Is it because I wore pants today?!? Damn traumatizing to be mistaken for a guy for the first time ever in my whole 18++ years of living.
Shit .... Fine fine, I shall start permanently wearing skirts (On 2nd thought, I'm already 80% there) ... and I will also wear pink all the time, from now on. And err ... put fake eyelashes?!
Anything to look girly. T_T
Wednesday, January 10, 2007 || My bad luck charm. *sneeze*cough*burp*
- Soooo ... recently, I bumped into Fling Thing '06 #2 again. Though I was hoping hard *not* to.
It's really weird. 'Cos when I look at him now, all I feel is ... uh. Nothing? No more 'hmm he's quite cute ...' playing in my head.
So we both said our 'hellos', which felt kinda awkward.
Then he handed out his hand for me to shake, to wish me a happy new year. He held my hand for a lot longer than he should've, which made me stare quizzically at him and go "Uh ... What?"
He leans in, just a little bit, so that it wouldn't be noticeable to other people. Just me. And he softly says, "I miss holding your hand ... "
With that familiar cocky and cheeky grin of his that I used to find majorly appealing.
The Old Liz would've found it extremely cute. And actually, a small part of me *still* found it totally cute, in a fake-dorky way. But the new Liz, the one with her newly-reinforced womanhood and discovery that she can live without cute guys ... didn't feel ANYTHING at all, and instead had to fight the urge to to wince or grimace.
Of course ... me *still* being me, I merely cocked my head to the left, raised my eyebrows at him, and gave him my mysterious half-smirk/smile. Before slipping my hand away and walking off. :D
(All while resisting the urge to grab his other hand with my free hand, stare lovingly into his eyes for a very tender moment before saying a very sweet and short "Fuck you".)
OMG bloody corny lah. The new me is SO not gonna fall for anyone's mind games anymore. Girl power yo!!111
This is kind of weird, since I HAD to bump into FlingThing the day right after I gave up on my no-guys vow? Wow. Must be a sign.
The weirdest thing is ... when I walked away, I mumbled to my friend, "Everytime I see him my day ALWAYS turns out fucking unlucky ..."
My friend laughed at me. But I currently am down with a mild fever, flu and sore throat. OMG WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?
O_o Very weird. The guy's weird too, for being such a bad luck charm. Hahaha
However, it doesn't even matter cos I've already set my eyes on someone ... I *think*. Oklah just assume that I have.
Okok, I really don't know. I think that the past two months have totally made me immune to men, so now I'm not sure about anything anymore. I feel like a robot yo.
Gonna go nurse my fever and flu in bed now. *sneeze*
Labels: general
Tuesday, January 09, 2007 || The world is beautiful again
- Okay there has gotta be something wrong with me. Cos my horribly disastrous Saturday ended up rather well, and I wasn't pissed anymore. O.o
Let's just say that someone totally bruised my ego. *stares daggers* The worst thing ever for ME is having a bruised ego ... seriously. I have a ego that's prolly bigger than a man's. O_o
However, the person who bruised my ego SO badly pretended nothing happened and asked me out to mamak at 11p.m? O_o?
And me being me, I just pretended everything was totally okay and forgotten. Though I didn't go to mamak.
OHH Sunday was a blast! It was totally fun. Nowadays I keep on blaming everything on my best-friend-withdrawal-syndrome but I'm quite surprised that I'm not really *feeling* that bad that Jaclyn isn't here. I mean, everything is still kinda great. Though I wish that she was around to consume vodka with. Yumm.
I'll post up pics later. Have to sleep early today yo, cos COLLEGE IS STARTING TOMORROW ... man, where did all the time go? I'm looking forward to seeing everybody though. :D
Shitty things I am secretly plotting to do (or continue doing):
*** Everytime I wanna go out at night, I tell my parents that I'm staying at a friend's place, and I end up sneaking into the house in the middle of the night!
Don't ask me how it works, but it does for me. Anyway my parents sort of banned me from going out late 'cos recently, one of my good friends got into BIG trouble. And they wouldn't trust me to be different from her.
Yea yea yea ... I'm not paying the price for someone else's sins, man.
*** Everytime I break down or become cuckoo in the next three months, I shall continue blaming it on my best-friend-withdrawal syndrome, even if it has nothing to do with it. I'm sure that Jaclyn will understand.
*** Okay about two months ago, I vowed that I would stay away from guys for three months.
And I've succeeded! For two months! :D I swear to God, I didn't flirt (on purpose) at all ... Nor did I go out on dates or anything.
My womanhood is SO reinforced. Thus I am officially terminating the vow. *evil laugh*
*** I'm gonna continue leaving my clothes all over the house, though mum hates it. Hahahaha
Okok ... better go sleep for real. ANYWAY, I just discovered how amazing it feels to lie bare-skinned on my bed while eating grapes, with Jeff Healy's Angel Eyes playing in the background.
Now if there was someone hot beside me to feed me the grapes ......... (okay that IS kinda kinky)
Sunday, January 07, 2007 || -untitled-
- Today is possibly the worst day of my life. :(
I don't wanna write an uber long depressing post about it. I have a lot of problems and no idea what the hell am I supposed to do to fix things. Cos everytime I try, things get worse.
I'll be back when I'm feeling more interesting. And more 'me' again. I don't really like thinking, patching up my life, being serious, and crying over split milk ... so I'll definitely spring back soon! *optimistic*
In the meanwhile ... I so need a hug. :( *looks around for potential people who would give me a hug without asking me why or think that I'm horny*
The internet kinda sucks at the moment, anyway. I feel like sleeping my life away. Cos when you're asleep ... all that exists are your dreams. And dreams are usually very nice. :)
Have fun peeps! I'll be back the minute I feel happy and optimistic again.
Saturday, January 06, 2007 || Dysfunctionality
- Today is my mama's birthday. Which I *almost* conveniently forgot, until papa excitedly told me yesterday about the surprise birthday cake he bought for mama. Before turning to mama and telling her about the cake.
-______-
So they started the very special occasion by squabbling and arguing right in the morning. They were even squabbling when Suet dropped by my place.
(Which was kinda embarrassing but I've passed the point of feeling embarrassed lalala)
I was kinda dubious but feigned disinterest. Cos the reason they're fighting is very childish. It's so immature that even *I* wouldn't bother fighting over it with anyone. O.o
So I went out and left them alone to solve their own shit. When I came home from Chris's place to have my mum's supposed birthday dinner - they were still at it! Arguing over the same old stupid thing! O.o'' How do they DO that is beyond me. I went out for at least 6 hours. -_-
So I calmly took mama into her room and gave her a very wise pep talk about love, relationships, and how to deal with men for half an hour. After she was less pissed, I left her room and talked to dad for half an hour about women's needs, being patient, and being a man.
OMGWTFBBQ! Aren't parents supposed to be the ones that give their kids advice and lectures? Aren't they the ones who are the ones I'm supposed to lean on whenever *I'm* fighting with a boyfriend or something? OMG the role reversal is very hard to handle. O___O
However, I managed to mindf*ck the both of them quite effectively by telling the both of them to "secretly be the bigger and more forgiving person". Uh ... Right.
So after one hour after I got home. We finally went out for my mum's birthday dinner. Lovely family moment. ^__^
(was being sarcastic, btw)
Man ... Can't believe that sometimes I feel more like their parents than the other way around. =.= And people wonder why I don't really want a bf? OMG pleaseeee I can't watch over two relationships at the same time. Hahaha
P.S. Happy birthday, mar-mee. I'm so glad that you got bored of surfing the net and friendster, thus you won't be reading my blog ever. :D
Labels: WTF-ed
Thursday, January 04, 2007 || Slow internet connection ... gah!
- I finally decided that my new year's resolution would be to make the best out of all the relationships in my life. I guess that I should work at my relationship with my parents, friends, etc ...
I wanted to pick something like 'find true love' or something, but that would be pretty hard to achieve. We'll just see how 2007 goes.
And oh, I wanna pick up a sport that I haven't tried before! Can't decide which one should I try out yet.
-----
So the electricity went out twice today. The first time there was a blackout, I was typing out a blog post. The second time, I was rubbing soap all over my body in the toilet. Great timing, I know. =/
Jaclyn called my house today, all the way from Terengganu, and she was crying on the phone. 'Cause apparently, the living condition in her NS camp is really horrible, chinese people were only 10%, and that there were a lot of strict rules. (No handphones, guys and girls must stand 10 ft away from each other O.o)
She's not one to cry that often ... so when she does, it has to be really bad. O_o Man ... and to think I was wishing that *I* was the one who was going away to somewhere far for three months. Heh
And actually, even though I haven't seen her for only one week, I miss her a lot. I feel like a part of me is really unstable when my best friend isn't around ... When she's here, I know that there's always someone who's just there, you know. Someone who will listen to everything I have to say and back me up whenever I get into deep shit. And someone to just call up in the middle of the night to go to the mamak with, whenver I'm feeling bored.
While my other friends are great, most of them aren't really 'one call away' kinda friends. Actually, I prolly only have ... 3? totally dependable friends who'll teman me no matter the time/place. And everybody's super busy nowadays. -_-
So ... I am feeling a bit shaky, bored and unsteady at the moment. Heee.
I figure that there are two sides to me. There is Happy Eliza, who's funny, confident, narcissistic, and falls in love really fast. On the other hand, there is also Sad Eliza, who's insecure, a loner, untrusting, and cynical.
Because there are two very contradicting personalities in me ... I guess that's why I sometimes tend to have 'shaky' phases, when I'm so unsure of myself and what I want.
I shall start referring to myself from a third person point-of-view. Even when I blog. Something like 'Happy Eliza is feeling absolutely great today!' or 'Sad Eliza wants all the fuckers to go away'.
Actually, I like Happy Eliza a lot more. When *I'm* fun ... life is more fun. But if there wasn't the more serious side in me ... I'd get into different kinds of shit everyday, man.
This post is weird. It took a full 360 degrees turn from what I'd originally wanted to blog about. I blame it on the power shortage just now. Sad Eliza is pissed at her sucky memory.
Labels: self-discovery
Tuesday, January 02, 2007 || Hello, 2007!
- Okay, so Singapore was boring, as expected. Actually I think it's just that I'm at an age when I just don't enjoy myself on trips with my parents anymore, as much as I would with my friends ... O.o
So blablabla ... it was a bore. I barely did anything besides waste money and cycle around Geylang. So if you're a Singaporean and happened to see a chick with messy hair and baggy clothes cycling aimlessly on a red bike, chances are, you saw me. Wtf.
So anyway, here are some very WTF-inducing stuff my very dysfunctional family has said to me throughout the SG trip: (pics later)
****
Aunt: Wahhhh compared to February, thinner already wor ... Good! Did you lose a lot of weight ah?!
Me: Err ... no. A bit only. I tried jogging more ...
Aunt: Oh no wonder you have thin legs. Good ah! Next time wear shorter skirts and wear those SHORT pants that can see your whole leg wan ... tomorrow we go shopping and buy ok
Me: My skirts are already quite short ... if I wear them any shorter people will call me a slut ...
Aunt: No such thing, let them say lah! When you're young and thinner you must flaunt it! You wanna wait until you're old and flabby only wanna dress sexily is it?!
Me: .... Okay. =/
***
Mum: Kissing is only an activity a boy and a girl that are physically attracted to each other do ... it's nothing.
Me: ...
***
Cousin: OMG you finally cut your hair! It's a lot better than the ugly damn long straight hair you had the last time I saw you ...
Me: ...
***
Dad: Drinking is already bad for men ... if for women, it's EVIL.
(him saying this led to a very heated argument about woman rights. He says that being a feminist is a sin. -_- I disagreed and we ended up arguing damn long over this)
***
Man, my family is dysfunctional. *sigh*
OHH anyway, there was this relative of mine who went to china or some place to learn some kinda fortune telling thingy. And when she saw me, she told me that she doesn't think that I'll be a very happy and fortunate person in the future.
Which REALLY FREAKING PISSED me off! I mean, it's just soooo rude to shove something I didn't even ask for into my face, whatmore it's so negative. I almost told her something like "Nobody defines my destiny except myself and my Lord Jesus okay, you stupid cow.", but I thought that it was a bit too hypocritical. Hahaha
Damn annoyed. Suddenly have my very bad fortune told to my face in such an insensitive manner. Ergh. -_-
Pictures! The whole reason my parents insisted we visit Singapore was 'cause my cousin recently gave birth to a baby. =D
Awwww now isn't he adorable? His dad is korean, and I think the baby has his dad's korean eyes. O.o
Anyway his name's Johnathan. Which is a nice name ... considering the fact that my cousin almost named him Pluto. O_o''
Hehe my maternal instincts have officially emerged! ME WANTS CUTE BABY. Rawr.
I didn't even take a lot of pictures, since we didn't do anything. Except visit my cousin's shop and shopping. So I camwhored in the toilet. (Wtf)
... And took pics with the baby. :D
Oh yeahhh, I met Jojo Struys in my cousin sis's beauty shop in Marina Square (or something). She's a model/TV host/Malaysian actress if you didn't know ... I heard about her from Jaclyn, who was swooning over how pretty she is. She's apparently rather good friends with my cousins? O.o
She is very nice and seems very down-to-earth in real life. I took a picture with her, though I look like a shitbag next to her. -_-
I cropped out a bit of me 'cause I'm mortified at how large I look beside her. Wtf
And ohhh, SG girls seem so dolled up! O_o So many of them had fake eyelashes and were wearing dresses in shopping malls.
I feel inferior when I'm there. Like I'm so immature and lazy to dress properly and put on more makeup. :(
Okay I haven't decided on my New Year's resolution yet. Damn.
Anyway, my new year's eve was rather ... interesting. I feel bad that I couldn't make it to Jaclyn's farewell thing though I was back from Singapore at the time. =( But ah well ... everything was, like I said, rather interesting.
Of course the best part of the night was when someone opened a bottle of whiskey, and I immediately became a lot more friendly and cheerful after a few sips of it. Hahaha!
Okay, gonna go decide on my new year's resolution before the day ends. Omg I have no idea.
2006 was a really good year. 2007, bring it on!!! (am hoping that 2007 will be even better *ahem ahem*)
Labels: pictures
