Friday, January 26, 2007 || "Player"
- Okay so my internet is up and running again *big grin* and I came online to chat a bit. While chatting with a friend and catching up, I was was jokingly labelled a player.
... Damn funny. O.o I don't have the looks, attitude nor the charm to ever pass off as a player. Not even a player-wannabe yo.
So in my mind, a player is like ... somebody who fools around a lot and finds it really hard to remain chaste. And probably has huge problems with commitment and sticking to just one partner ... or probably just likes playing around a lot and enjoying the thrill of the chase.
I ... for one, am totally single. I have my boundaries, and I'll stick to them, as long as the fun doesn't come with a price that's too high for me to pay. (which explains the lack of a sex life since ... forever)
But I daresay that someday when I feel bored of all the pointless coquetry and flirting ... and when I finally find somebody I could commit to, I would never cheat on him or fling around anymore. O.o
I'm not like a great person, but why would I ever consciously hurt anybody, right?
I know a number of players. And honestly, players don't really rank very high on my 'most hated kind of people' list. For instance, I STILL hate people who judge and gossip, or backstabbers even more.
Example 1: "Wah ... you know, XXX isn't a virgin leh! Interesting huh ... "
Example 2: "You know what I found out? XXX isn't a virgin ... Oh my GOD I didn't know she was such a slut you know, she looked so fucking innocent and all ... Now you know lah ... Plus that day she was flirting with YYY ... surely slept with him also lah ..."
I dunno about you, but even though two of the above can be considered as "gossip" ... if I was XXX, I would merely shrug at Example 1 (assuming the gossip was true) but I would be FUCKING PISSED if people talked about me like in Example 2.
I mean, I think that people should own up to whatever they do, no matter how shitty. And I would too. But people who place unnecessary judgements ... especially if they're my friends ... are totally bastards. Worse than players, if you asked me. =.=
It's like this ... players are usually pretty easy to spot. Well, unless you're some kinda innocent dood who still believes that the world is lovely and sweet. And since, for me, I can practically smell a playboy from 10 feet away ... I don't see what kind of a threat the supposed playboy could ever pose on me. Or any other girl with functioning brains.
If I still fell for a player, despite already KNOWING that he has itchy groins, who else do I have to blame but myself, right? -_-
I would probably date somebody with a rep for being a total bastard ... for whatever reasons. But I doubt that I would really CARE about the person ... like how I cared for dickface or Mr. vodka.
I guess I feel somewhat bad for them as well. Having a string of girls and guys to fuck and toy around with must be pretty cool and ego-boosting ... but possibly nobody who really genuinely cares? Or if there really were people who sincerely cared ... they'd probably end up hurting those people and pushing them away anyway.
(something I've had experience with ... *cries*)
Wah ... I can't believe I typed so much shit about players. Anyway, I think that I've passed the point of actually caring about other people already. I don't mean 'other people' as in friends ... but other people like, people whom I'm not close with and yet they still assume that they know me.
I used to be fucking pissed everytime I suddenly find out that I'm being judged, misunderstood, or painted in a very unflattering light. But now ... I'm kind of immune.
Which is kinda scary. Coz last time when I actually cared about my (already shitty) rep, it was one of the things in life that held me back from going over the limit. Now that I don't seem to care anymore ... the only thing that's holding me steady is my conscience. O.o And common sense.
P.S. Have a weird confession to make. The whole player thing ... I actually told my friend just now that I'm not a player, but if I was a guy, I probably would want to be one. Just to, you know, have loads of fun before I finally settle down for good. *helpless shrug*
But I'm a girl ... with my hormones and emotional tendencies, I'm forced to be stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Labels: musings
