Wednesday, November 29, 2006 || Family Fabulosa
- Hello boys and girls, my sister is home. :D Which means, there are eight people bunking at my very small and humble 3-room apartment. Don't ask me how we managed to squeeze. O.o''
Anyway, I watched James Bond today with my pals, and came home to find a cake and my whole family (... well, my sis and my uncle's family, that is) waiting for me. I was absolutely dubious and surprised.
SURPRISE, SURPRISE ...... I forgot my dad's birthday. =_=''
me: "Eh who bought the CAKE?" ^_^
mum: "Errr it's your FATHER'S birthday? Ohh by the way, three of your friends added me to friendster! Ask them to come for steamboat tomorrow! I wrote testimonial for John and Cally!"
me: "Ahahaha yeah of course, dad's birthday, I didn't forget lah... Heehee... UHHH you wrote my friends testimonials?!?"
Ah, my mother is certainly warming up to the joys of friendster. =.=''
I totally forgot to buy my dad a present, dammit. =( But aww dad, you know I love you. You're a bit childish and a pain in the butt at times, but still pretty cool, when you want to be.
Ok ladies and gentlemens, I shall hereby formally introduce my family to you. Since I talk about booze, wet dreams, my friends, and all kinds of shit but I barely blog about my family! (wtf)
The very eccentric and dysfunctional Lee family:
I swear to God, this has got to be our first family picture(s) in ... 5 years? 7 years? O_o
My sister is REALLY independant and really cool. I have a lot of respect for her, since she's so fucking rich and successful now, even without a college education. My biggest aspiration in life was to be just like her, but I kind of gave that up a few months ago, when she bought her third house (shared with bf, but still!) in Hong Kong which has the direct view of HK Disneyland. WTF!
This absolutely ADORABLE kid is my youngest cousin brother. Okay, so technically, he isn't blood-related to me. Complicated shit ... but who cares about blood relations! Not important to me.
I always wanted a little brother. =) And he fits in really nicely. Though I spent at least Rm30 on him in less than three days, just because he's oh-so-cute and I can never resist an oh-so-cute boy. *grin*
This second cousin of mine's named Ee Ching, and she's gonna grow up to be really gorgeous someday. She's still going through the awkward puberty stage, but she has really nice doe-like eyes, an oval face, delicate features, and pouty lips.
She'll be so pretty someday. She's really dark, about two tones darkner than me, so she has that whole racial ambiguity thing going on for her, cause she doesn't look chinese ... more like mixed malay or something. I want!
The eldest cousin who's staying with me. I kind of have a nagging suspicion that she has an online boyfriend, and I tried to play the role of a caring older cousin sister and tried to dig information about her lovelife the other day.
me: "Do you have a boyfriend?" (haha, straight to the point sial)
she: "Noooo ..."
me: "Hehe okay, why not?"
she: "Penang guys all not handsome lah! Aiyo KL guys better ..."
me: "...... o_O"
Well, coming from a 14 year old, that kind of shocked me. So young also so superficial already! LOL. Anyway, when *I* was 14, I was too busy being a nerd to give a damn about handsome boys.
Oh wait, there was Ezra ......
*ahem ahem* ANYWAY. I still suspect that she has an online boyfriend. I wanted to talk to her about it and share my two cents worth of opinions, but I figured ... whatever rocks her boat. I've never believed in online loveromancedatingwhatevershits but she should know how to make her own decisions in life.
For her own sake, I just hope that she won't be a commitment phobe like her older cousin sister. *cough*Me*cough* ... Seriously, I was thinking about it, and I've realized that I've never been in a REAL relationship before! WTF. Sure, I've dated people before, but I've never had a REAL relationship that lasted for more than 4 months, nor have I truly been deeply in love before. Not the real thing yet, anyway.
Damn sad case man. =(
Okay, end of lame "family introductory" post. Awww, now don't you just feel like you know me more? :D
Haha I'm damn lame.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 || Mr "Emotionally Unavailable"
- A little less than a year ago, back when I was still busy traffic whoring and living a very mundane life, I met a very fascinating person.
He is one of those people that I can barely describe. Everytime I try, I'm at a loss for words. He had the recklessness of a wild stallion, a cocky grin that was always a half-smirk yet shone with genuinity, and the sense of humour of Homer Simpson's. (Haha wtf, stupid metaphor.)
I thought he was perfect. He was witty, unintentionally funny, and really warm when he wanted to be. What intrigued me the most about him was his unbelievably carefree nature. It was like nothing in the world bothered him, and he seemed to breeze through life with ease ...
But as I dug deeper into knowing this fascinating person, I soon found him to be one of those Emotionally Unavailable people. You know, the people who have a commitment phobia. People who are so afraid of letting people into their lives, they push the people who care about them away. People who screw things up, like men who cheat on their wives whom they love, because they seem to have this ability to hurt ... and also hurt themselves.
Emotionally Unavailable people are happier off alone, as the thought of having "burdens" in their lives scares them. Having people who genuinely care about them is intimidating, for they always feel like they'll somehow always end up hurting them.
Mr EU was such a person. Behind all his reckless, carefree partying ways, there was a person ... A person he didn't seem to want the world to see. Sometimes when we were alone, he'd let me catch a glimpse of the person that he really is. And sometimes, when he realized that he'd revealed too much, he'd push me away.
He did not hesitate in fervently warning me that he'll definitely end up hurting me. "Look, I'm a total bastard when it comes to girls, I just really don't want you do ever get hurt by me. You won't understand this now but you will someday.", he told me. But somehow, I saw something in him that I believed in.
I see myself in him. The same "I don't give a fuck" exterior, the same committment phobia, the same tendencies to hurt the people we love the most, and the same way we both felt scared to reveal our real selves to the world. But one thing that differentiated us was that he was absolutely comfortable in remaining exactly the way he was. Mr EU had no aspirations, no dreams, no burning desire to be a great person. I was always kind of screwed up, but I never denied the possibility that I could, maybe, someday be a Somebody.
It's kind of hard to explain, but we were never comfortable around each other whenever there were other people around. It was as though we wanted to hide each other from the world as much as possible. Like a secret fetish, or a forbidden affair.
Anyway, I played a lot of "hot and cold" games with Mr EU, pushed him away and pulled him back in, until I got tired. We both have the same problem with love, so why can't we try to work it through, together, right? I broke my own rule and tried to let him into the doorways of my heart. But he always hesitated, took slow steps, and stopped whenever he was about to step right in.
And he still kept on pushing me away with his wild ways and cold exterior. Just like he warned me, he hurt me. I turned around and finally walked away.
But something in me twitched, and I turned around to look at him again. One last time. And I saw something in his eyes ... pain, maybe. The "I'm sorry" that his eyes revealed but his lips couldn't open to say.
"You know what? You are a bastard. Just like you said. But I still think that you're a good person.", I told Mr EU with a rueful smile, before really turning around and walking away.
There are just some people in the world who do the shittiest things ever ... but you know that they're good people with good hearts and the inability to make the right decisions. You just know. That night, I wrote in my diary, 'I swear, I'll someday finish what I started with you. This chapter is not closed. Not yet.'
I have not spoken to Mr EU ever since the last we talked. But a few months ago, I met another person who REALLY reminds me of him. The same carefree spirit, irresponsible devil-may-care nature, and even the somewhat same cocky half-smirk grin. But this second person was more shy, less sure of himself, and had an oddly cute vulnerable side he barely revealed. I was instantly intrigued by him, and I'll call him Mr Vodka. (haha wtf!)
Just like Mr EU, we never felt comfortable around each other when other friends or people were around us. When we were alone, we were like two absolutely different people who talked about everything and made each other laugh. He was my secret fetish ... something I genuinely liked, but not something I'd happily reveal to the world with glee.
Anyway, this is not a mushy love story. Mr Vodka was also Emotionally Unavailable, just like Mr Eu and me. We liked each other, but not exactly enough to start anything substantial, and I liked someone else more. He was a good person who screwed everything up, and from experience, I already knew that he'll unintentionally end up screwing up my life too. But still, a good person.
You see, I was just wondering, was everything I "started" with Mr Vodka a way of me "finishing what I started" with Mr EU? Will this be a continuous pattern of me being attracted to Emotionally Unavailable men, on a quest of trying to prove the Impossible, that Emotionally Unavailable people could change?
Today, I was at the shopping mall where coincidentially, Mr EU and Mr Vodka have hung out with me before. Going through a rack of men's shirts that were on a huge discount, I noticed this guy who REALLY looked like the cross between Mr EU and Mr Vodka. He had the same racial ambiguity they both have, Mr EU's hair and eyes, and Mr Vodka's bone structure. =D
We somehow started making small talk about how insanely cheap the clothes were. He even had the same easy-going laugh! But before we could talk about anything normal, my uncle, aunt and three young cousins hopped into the shop and embarrassed me beyond belief by mistaking him for a salesman.
We both exchanged embarrassed smiles and goodbyes, and I quickly hurried out of the shop, while dragging my cousins along with me. -_- We didn't even exchange names. No chance for me to ever find out if he's one of emotionally unavailable ones or not.
Hehe, it must've been a sign. A sign from above that goes, 'Eliza, wake the fuck up and stop trying to finish what you supposedly started. The Chapter's finally closed.'
Instead of trying to change an Emotionally Unavailable man, I really should just concentrate on changing myself. After all, I'm one of them too, eh?
Monday, November 27, 2006 || Allow me a moment to be completely speechless.
- Okay, so today, I decided to check my friendster friends request list, just for fun. And because I was bored.
For some really weird reason, so many strangers seem to randomly add me out of nowhere, despite me saying that I don't add people I don't know, or people who don't send me introductory messages, and my friends list just sort of "expanded" till a very long list of 150 people or so. O_o
BUT .... much to my surprise/shock/horror, I found this particular friend request today:
I just sat on my chair, gasped, and practically almost spit rojak at my computer screen.
Okay, if it isn't clear enough, it says "christine" ... and below it is my MOTHER'S FREAKING EMAIL ADDRESS!!!!!111oneone
OMG do you realize the utter seriousness of this situation?! MY MOTHER HAS FRIENDSTER. OMGWTFBBQx1000000!
Breathe, breathe, breathe. Inhale, exhale.
I realized that I was probably freaking out too much over a small matter, so I calmly checked out her profile.
"Happy to meet new friends with common interests"?!? OMG.
I dunno whether I ought to feel relieved or incredulous that she didn't put her own picture. In fact, she posted up a picture of Fifi.
... A PICTURE SHE TOOK OFF MY BLOG. Obviously, it was one of my older posts. Which therefore confirms my suspicions that she has been reading my blog all along.
Kill me please. Hand me my knife. I've been talking about boys, making out, booze, cigs, wet dreams, and all kinds of shit in my blog. And my mother read it all.
............................................ *speechless*
"occupation: singer" (wtf?!?!)
Oh lookie, her profile has a virtual Fifi! Hahahahaha har har ...... hah.
OMG will someone please explain to me how my mum found out how to do all the copy and paste shit? =/
Okay I'm gonna die crying and sniffing through my half-hearted laughter. Imagine, my mum prolly saw the picture of me mock-biting Cally's boobs in my profile. Ohmigosh!!!
The next thing I know, she'll probably have MySpace. Hell, she might even have IMVU. Or wait ... OMG she might even have a BLOG.
Actually, the other day, my friend was in my house and she told me that she noticed my mother updating something that looked like blogger.com. I laughed at her and told her to stop hallucinating. Of course, that was before I found out she had MSN, Friendster, and reads my blog.
I'm not so optimistic and certain anymore. I'm sorry, mum, if you're reading this. The idea of my best friends reading my blog is kinda weird at times .... but the idea of having your biological mother read about your drunken ramblings is, well, mildly disturbing.
=( If my mother ever has a blog, I'll be sure to post her link up. *wipes silent teardrop trickling on cheek*
P/S. HAHA my friend just pointed this out to me --- if anybody looked at the screenshots I took hard enough, they'd notice that my media player is playing 'Sex'. My friend asked me if I was secretly watching porn, but I swear, I was watching Sex and The City! Hmph.
Sunday, November 26, 2006 || Stay away from booze!
- Ok so I deleted/edited the post I posted up before this one, cause my friend advised me to let some time go by before I talk about the mistake I made. Cause close friends read my blog, and I have no idea who might be judgemental and make a big deal out of it ... O_o
Btw, I've just realized how easy it is to detect if I'm going through a shitty phase or not. Everytime I make a mistake or am going through an emo phase --- I don't blog!
It's like I'm avoiding all opportunities to talk about my pathetic life. Har har har.
Anyway, to sum things up, I basically made a VERY horrible mistake last week. It was so bad, I was SO upset throughout the whole week, though I tried really hard not to show it.
In a nutshell, I guess I sort of cheated on someone. Okok, assuming that I still really like someone that I'm not dating anymore, and I did something that I SHOULDN'T have done if I still like him ... still considered cheating ar? Or maybe it was just a really weird and awful rebound thing. Har har.
Anyway, I am seriously fucked up right now. Kids, STAY AWAY from booze and cigs! Honestly.
I wanna say sorry to sooo many people. I wanna say sorry to Jaclyn for dragging her to drink and fag with me so often. I wanna say sorry to er, my rebound person. I wanna say sorry to DickFace for no particular reason ... And so many more lah! =(
Ohh, it takes more than a series of obstacles like the ones I'm facing to bring me down! I swear, I won't drink or smoke anymore. If I lived without it once, I'll do it again. Before I get hooked for real ......
Mesti GAMBATEI!
So I solemnly vow to not go to clubs or get stoned/drunk for at least 6 months. Oh, no boys too! I SWEAR. Here are some random pics, just to liven up my boring shitty blog a bit:
Man, I'm too lazy to even photoshop and change the brightness/contrast of the pics. Don't care lah. :D
Errr ... 50% drunk.
Something to give ya nightmares:
Damn, what an eventful week I had. Things are finally looking up, but I'm still sort of drained. O_o
Sigh sigh sigh I wish that I would just stop feeling like the most screwed up person on earth. Am I the only one who ever feels this way? =(
Tuesday, November 21, 2006 || Hmm.
- Sometimes, I just wish that people would just fucking stop expecting things out of me.
Isn't it ironic, when you sometimes warn people beforehand that you're basically not good enough, and they insist that you have a major case of inferiority disorder and convince you otherwise. And when you simply don't live up, just like you already said you wouldn't, they get bloody pissed and disappointed in you?
Man, fuck you all. I am a stubborn, confused, unsure, arrogant, snappy, selfish and insensitive 18 year old girl. I'm willing to own up to my flaws and embrace them, unlike some dimwits out there who think they're God.
I may fail at improving myself, at being a better person, but isn't that to be expected? I mean, hell, I'm just a normal teenager, who happens to have no sex life whatsoever, and I'm just as lost and as undecided as anybody else out there. Seriously, what do people expect out of me?
My Gawd, I am in the most horrible mood ever. I had an awful day. And the worst thing, is seriously coming home to a house FULL of people, and the sudden realization that you have to share your SMALL room with four kinda big-sized kids for a few days. Omg, my privacy ah!
Anyway, I just heard that some people thought that I made out with this guy in a club yesterday. And to confirm all potential rumours or suspicions, I was much too NOT drunk to make out with a guy and not remember it by today. I highly doubt that I have Alzheimers.
And seriously, if I DID make out with whoever in a club, I would fucking own up to it. You've gotta be kidding me. I don't owe any loyalty to Dickface anymore, and I most definitely don't owe anything to anybody else. And my virginity is still very much intact, thank you very much.
I really don't know what is right or what is wrong anymore. I keep on making really bigass mistakes all the while, and some of the prices I'm paying are really draining too much energy out of me ... but I'm holding on. I have to try, right?
Sigh. My house is noisy. I hate noise. I can't even think about all my shitty problems without having someone screaming up my ear. =/
Sunday, November 19, 2006 || Some people are just not meant to drink
- Short post. Super uber sleepy! Been sort of busy lately too, gahhh.
Jaclyn Low May Lee, who is currently having her SPM, stayed over at my place yesterday 'cause today's my mum's church baptism thingy - something I wasn't supposed to miss - so I dragged Jaclyn along.
Err ... we decided celebrate my mum's baptism by opening a bottle of white wine. With karaoke. Haha, freaking blasphemous!
So anyway, we finished the bottle pretty fast, and we both got kinda drunk. Especially Jaclyn, cause she drank 60% of the bottle AND two cans of beer. Wtf.
In very clear 'Jaclyn the Drunkard' style, she started singing without the music, flashed her ass and boobs at the webcam when I was hopelessly trying to record a video, and chased Fifi around until she tripped over her and fell on her ass.
She wobbled around and fell everywhere. The next morning, she woke up and found bruises all over her body ...
Which she swears she has no idea where they came from. -.-'' And oh, the bruise on her ass is as big as my fist, I swear.
I love watching people get drunk. Seriously, it's FUNNY. But this time, I was kind of out of it as well, and we ended up spending the whole night talking cock to people on MSN, Skype and to each other.
Example:
Me: Man ... he is SO SO SO SO HOT. Hotter than DickFace and Ezra ah! OMG lalalala mama mia ...
Jaclyn: Haih I can't believe I forgot to wear my bra to SPM accounts paper today.
Me: ... Ultimate *gulp* definition of hotness. But luckily I didn't date him for real also lah 'coz I would be the uglier person in the couple, hohohohoho
Jaclyn: Where's my bra ah? *burppp*
Yeah, load of shit the whole night. Worst thing about it was, we couldn't even sleep! Jaclyn puked the whole night and my legs were itching all over. Which IS an improvement on my part, cause I used to itch all over ......
Then we were forced to wake up at 7 in the morning. For mum's church thingy. O_o
Okay, gotta go now, kids! I won't be around 'till Tuesday, cause my friends and I will be bunking over at our col friend's place tomorrow. :D Though we're gonna go to Qbar or Flame, NO BOOZE FOR ME THIS TIME, I SWEAR!
No mood to blog 'cause I just got a haircut, lost five inches of hair, and just so happen to look like a fugly clown right now. Time to practice celibacy for six months till it grows out and I look normal again. OMG!
Thursday, November 16, 2006 || True love
- I am one of those people who believes that true love exists, even in today's world of threesomes, hardcore pornography, and infidelity.
I've always believed that when a man and a woman really love each other, the world would be a beautiful place; a place where only the two of them existed. A world where pleasure and love co-exist, an amazing world with only two inhabitants, a world when each other is everything they'd ever need.
I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. This is kind of weird coming from me, because I always tend to screw things up with guys that I'm dating or getting to know. The truth is, I'm scared.
I don't ever want to be hurt. Which kind of ends up hurting me even more, but at least my pride is saved. I call the shots; I hold the key ... If anything, I ended a potential disaster, not the other way around. If a guy ever made me vulnerable, made me love him ... and dumped me, that will definitely kill my ego.
I want to be able to stand on my own, you know, to not be so caught up in lust and getting myself tangled with a string of random guys I'll never remember. I want to believe that somewhere out there, there is a guy, one man that I'm destined to be with. I want to know that I'm strong enough to survive on my own, to wait for the day he magically appears in my life.
I want to believe in love. True love. A kind of love that ignites lust, and not the other way around like how it usually is. Something different, that makes us feel like our bodies are not merely sexual objects like all the shit that's on MTV. That for once in our lives, our bodies were merely created for each other, and only each other.
But I feel so weathered, weary and cynical now. Honestly, why do I even feel this way? Heck, I'm only 18 - not very "mature" in the world of dating. There was a time when I'd feel kind of flattered whenever a guy hits on me, but now whenever it happens, I just feel like heaving a bigass sigh and curtly telling the guy to stop playing his mindfucking games with me. I just don't buy it anymore.
This is a post that reeks of confusion. I don't even know what exactly am I writing about.
You know the intense surge of feeling when you feel something so physical about a guy/girl? Sometimes, it's not even physical attraction. It's inexplicable, how some people could make you feel a different kind of high, while others can't. Yet you know that the high you feel is not love.
It's physical.
You probably don't care to know about his/her family, his deepest darkest secrets, and heck, you might not even give a shit if he had 20 ex girlfriends or a S&M fetish. You just don't really feel the need to know, because it doesn't matter. He or she makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, just by smiling at you, a deep laugh, a gentle caress.
It's inexplicable. It's not love. It's probably lust. But it still is a connection. He or she makes you feel like not giving a fuck about moral values, and makes you feel like dropping your naive belief in soulmates. You just want to leave all your worries, responsibilities, and the people you really love behind and drown in his or her touches.
Magic ... it almost feels like it, how the weight on your shoulders suddenly feels lighter. But not quite it, because nothing about it feels magical.
For some of us, the ones that are less lucky in love, why don't we just screw our beliefs, fling away the memories of the one we truly love, and opt for what's possible and dangling in front of our own eyes? A personal drug to miraculously wipe away our problems.
What really scares me is that the "personal drug" just makes you feel so good, even before you've had a real taste of it. It could be addictive. It could maybe even suck. It could be sold at a higher price than what I'm willing to pay.
Yet I couldn't stop myself from reaching for it, and taking just a small sip of it. It wasn't love. The world did not become a more beautiful place. And I realized that all the while, I didn't even know what the drug was made of.
It's just a freaking drug. The connection felt so good, life felt so high ... but love must be more than that. It must.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 || Karaoke, videos, and wedding songs.
- Yesterday, my college friends came over to my place to have a karaoke gathering. With beer and food, what else could be better?
- Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack's Tonight I Celebrate My Love for You *wipes teardrop*
- Bread's If
... which is a beautiful song. Seriously. - Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt
It was really fun playing Tekken, singing oldies and talking crap. Of course, we err ... conveniently sort of forgot about our supposed evening class. *looks at sky*
Sorry God, please forgive us for we have sinned.
My college friends are totally cool. They're nice, down-to-earth and not the gossipy backstabbing kind. :D It's fun hanging out with them, no complicated dramas at all.
Plus, *most* of us are interested in people that're not in college, which makes it even better, since crushy-wushy shits are not good for friends. =D
Veen, Galriad, John, Andrew, Fifi and I. Haha Fifi looks so cute on top of John's head!
We even took a video of the boys singing. LOL
It's not even lip-synching, like the crap I used to do. *malu* This is the real thing yo! Damn funny somemore!
Andddddddd, my second uber duber super vlog! I've decided to post up a video every post, since it only takes me like, 5 minutes, to record a video. :D So if people wanna watch the lame vid, they can, or not they can just ignore it and read the post.
I reckon that even though I may sound weird and look really awkward now, I can only improve with time. It will do good for my impromptu crapping skills.
You see lah, someday my videos will be super funny okay!
Ohhhh I really am SO in love with Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack's song, Tonight I Celebrate my Love for You. When I get married, it will definitely be my wedding song. ;)
Though I can't sing for shit, my fiance and I will duet on that song during the wedding dinner. Which will ultimately put us in the mood for some ... celebration after that. HEEHEE
Three songs that MUST be played during my wedding:
... just joking about the third one. :P
Since I am currently competing for the title Queen of Webcam-whoring, I'll end this post with a picture.
OKAY WTF that's the lamest way to end a post. =.=
Monday, November 13, 2006 || Now, THIS is the shit!
- Today, I went to Low Yat Plaza to buy a thumbdrive. I ended up buying a LOT more than what I'd bargained for ...
Oh yeahh, one of the salesman was so weird, cause he kept on bragging to me about his mansions and shit. And he was like "You know if I'm not unavailable, I'd bring you out to dinner!". But the weirdest thing was, when I was testing out the card reader with my own MMC card, he printed out two pictures of me! To test the glossy papers and show off his chun printer, wtf.
Anyway, I ended up buying a thumbdrive, a card reader ... and the best of it all, a WEBCAM!!!111oneone
Yes, the gold paper thing is my printed FOC picture. O_o I'm kinda fascinated by the paper, though!
The amount of cash I spent today would've sent me straight into Doomsville, but I managed to
SO COOL ... I never knew webcams were so fun! Mine isn't really clear, and the images look kinda orangey since my hall light's orange ... but I LOVE IT.
Now I can make stupid faces all the time:
Wah why my teeth black colour wan!
Now I can see mah homies all da time yo!
Now I can easily drag people and animals (and occasionally objects) around me to camwhore with!
Haha Fifi looks so stoned in the last pic.
AND I ALSO GET TO RECORD INCOHERENT, DUMB VIDEOS OF MYSELF! :D
Man, sometimes I crack myself up. Wtf is with me, saying "The thing about recording videos is that I always say really dumb and retarded things ... OHH LET ME SHOW YOU MY DOG"?!
Ok the next step I'll take in taking advantage of this wonderful creation of mankind is to record a video of myself doing a striptease in front of the webcam. Which, of course, will be my ultimate secret project that I'll keep to myself, and not tell a single soul.
Okay, enough crap for today. :D Webcam is the shit yo! Who has webcam, let's check each other out in MSN!
My only rule and regulation is that he/she must not wank. This is extremely forbidden.
Sunday, November 12, 2006 || If I died ..
- Yesterday night, I plopped on my bed as usual, ready to get a good night's worth of beauty sleep.
... My head landed on a pair of scissors. O____o Which wasn't facing up, if not I would be like, DEAD.
So after that very dangerous near-death experience, before I dozed off, I kept on thinking really morbid thoughts ... What if the scissors REALLY pierced through my big skull and killed me? O_o What if that was the last moment of my life?
Seriously morbid. Because young people do not think of death so much, unless they've experienced a very scary near-death experience like me.
If I died, I wouldn't get to hold Fifi anymore!
If I died, I wouldn't get to say a very big FUCK YOU to the people who laughed at me just because Dickface was an indian+chinese. And when I had a fling thing going on with this other guy before dickface, and some people found out his race, they did not *only* just laugh, man. How could I rest in peace, knowing that I was so discriminated against?!
If I died, there would be one less anti-racist person on earth. HAHAHA
If I died, nobody would steal money, food and beer from daddy anymore. Wtf.
If I died, Jaclyn would officially be best-friendless. She wouldn't have anybody to bitch about her weird fetishes, eccentric opinions, and grow fat with anymore!
If I died, I would never get to mend the wounds in my relationship with my sister anymore. And that's just ... sad.
If I died, Malaysia would lose an amazing, cute, wonderfully talented young woman who definitely would have contributed to the country in big ways someday. (Wtf)
If I died, I wouldn't get to buy my stupid domain, ever. =(
If I died, all my friends would be less entertained cause they wouldn't get to hang out with me anymore, and listen to me bitch about my stupid endeavours!
If I died, they'll probably read the unsent letter I wrote to dickface in my funeral, which will undeniably lead me to break down the doors of heaven and return to my corpse to stop them from reading it. HAH
If I died, there will be one less fakely competitive, permanently late, nerd-wannabe chick in college who breaks rules by wearing skirts.
Ok, my conclusion is, if I died ... the world would NOT be a better place. 8-)
Life is boring and mundane, but at least I'm still alive. *sleepy grin*
I wanna blog properly and post pics but my USB cable isn't working. *sleepy sigh*
Thursday, November 09, 2006 || Freak of the Century
- This is the reason why every heterosexual male on earth with raging hormones ought to be mighty glad and popping champagnes, rejoicing the fact that I'm not their girlfriend:
*insert x-files theme song* (wtf)
HAHAHAHHAHA WTF! I think I'm the only girl with the guts and the "freeness" to camwhore when I'm putting on a facial mask.
The things I do, I crack myself up! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA HA .... HAR ...... ha ...... *lame laughter fades off*
Call me Liz the yellow elephant, yo!
Man, totally lost ALL of my sex appeal with the revealing of that horrendous picture. If there was any at all in the first place to begin with ...
Hehehe, okok. Sometimes I scare myself. Tsk, the things I do for my blog!
*cheh wah*
Tuesday, November 07, 2006 || Lazy, sickly, SHORT update!
- I am sick. =/ Sore throat, flu and a tinge of fever.
But I ate pizza, roti tissue, iced leng chee kang, Lychee dessert, and a bigass tuna sandwich today, and I'm totally recovered now. :D Yes yes, I eat like a horse, I know. I put on like at least 3 KG since the holidays!
*slaps self* Okok, must not rant about weight. Must not complain about being fat. Life is good.
Anyway, let me tell ya guys how I got sick. Two days ago.
So okay, Jaclyn and I have this favourite kid (HAHA okay that sounded so wrong) whom we think is absolutely adorable. He's only five and he winks at us all the time, whistles, and always goes, like, "Hey pretty ladies ... How are ya?!", with a fake-deep voice and wink.
HOW CUTE IS THAT? He's only five and he's more suave than most twenty year olds I know. :D He is so gonna be a player when he grows up.
Anyway, we met his dad yesterday. The kid pulled us towards him, while squeaking, "Ladiesss ... meet my dad!"
The dad was quite hot.
The cute kid huffs at his dad and goes "Daddyyy, show them MUSCLES!"
The dad wiggles his eyebrows at us and flexes his biceps. "Ladies ... wanna see? *wink*"
Okay, it is pretty obvious where the Cutest Kid on Earth inherited most of his personality. But that is not the point.
THE DAD IS HOT OMGWTFBBQ! He was wearing a long-sleeved BLACK T shirt, and when he flexed his muscles, you could practically see the outline of all his abs and biceps. Six packs ok! Don't play play ah!
Jaclyn and I were both sort of speechless. And after that, we had a series of very heated debates and arguments (I was arguing that a hot body totally beats a cute face, she insisted a cute face is better. I was insisting that we should start going to gym to gain some yummy stomach muscles, she believed that it would be pointless anyway, since we don't wear revealing clothes.)
Anyway, the whole relation to the Yummy Dad story to how I got sick, is because we talked and debated for too long, until it finally rained, and we had to run around like wet gooses to get to a nearby restaurant. =.= Which, by then, I was already half-sick.
"Dude, I'm freaking wet!!", I exclaimed, when we reached the restaurant.
"Same la wtf.", Jaclyn mutters while wiping herself.
"......"
"......"
Me: "You know, if I was *Yummy dad*'s wife, I wouldn't leave the house okay. I'd have to keep on fighting urges, whereever I am, to tear off his clothes and check out that work of art wei!!!"
Jaclyn: "Man ... that is exactly the point."
Me: "Why?"
Jaclyn: "The mum is expecting her fourth kid ...... What do you think?!"
Me: "Oh."
Hahaha, we are a screwed-up duo, indeed.
Totally out of topic:
Okay, anyway, I went to John's place today to chill out, have lunch, and supposedly watch High School Musical and Bollywood/Hollywood. O_o There were about 10 of us there. Then 9 of us headed to Megamall to chill out, 'cause class was cancelled yo! *laughs in glee*
Anyway, I have gathered a committee for the newsletter already! And had our first so-called meeting! W00t! Even though we haven't done anything yet, you guys know I think you rock. :D
Oh yeah, I was SO close to buying a domain, which would mean that I'd be blogging in wordpress soon ... but the thing is, I couldn't buy a domain, 'coz I can't think of a nice one. Something cool, not-too-cliche, and me ...
FattyLizzy.com? Lizzyism.com? (TOO cliche =( ) Lizfuckingrules.com?!
Man, never mind. Maybe I'm not destined for wordpress hohoho. Gonna go continue my eternal debate with my dad over whose stomach is bigger. *wtf* He still thinks I'm fatter!
Friday, November 03, 2006 || A bit of narcissism again <3
- I've been trying to blog for the past two hours, but blogger is kinda screwed up.
Anyway, I'm currently waiting for my Grey's Anatomy season 2 episodes to finish downloading. I'm such a dumbass, I downloaded 5 episodes of FRENCH ones a few days ago. O_o''
Okay, so my magazine assignment photoshoot was okay, though I dunno what struck me to offer *myself* as one of the posers for the cover. I really wanted my college mate Sam Oh to be on the cover, 'coz he's damn photogenic, but I was in too much of a hurry. Today's the deadline, and I only started my magazine yesterday night.
Maybe that's why it didn't turn out great. =(
Anyway, since we already took super-poser pictures, I just photoshopped some of them for fun. I almost lost ALL of my n00b photoshop skills, since I didn't change my layout since ..... practically forever. Must change soon! Back to black again, this time. :D
These are UNphotoshopped pictures:
IGNORE FAT TUMMY!!!!!!!!! OK THX BYE.
A clear case of gender confusion. LOL
Actually, I didn't have to purposely post up unphotoshopped pics, coz I know it's pointless ... but I was just finding an excuse to post up those pics cause I think they're funny. Hahaha.
Pointless, somewhat narcissistic, poser pics:
(So-called "models": Josh Lim, Andrew Ee, Eliza Lee)
And yessss, the guys had makeup. LOL. Done by me. Not that I forced them into it, if ya know what I mean ... ;)
Ok, my so-called mag design for my assignment:
This is the cover. I REALLY wanted it to be in black with an edgy, grungy, gritty feel to it. But since it was supposed to be a celebrity gossip mag, we ended up choosing a lighter color scheme ..... and it kinda ended up looking like some kinda TeenGirl magazine instead, wtf! =/
I'm not happy with it 'cause I think that I could've done a lot better if I wasn't so lazy and procrastinated so much. But ahhhhh ... I should cut myself some slack! :D
Anyway, when we handed up our assignment to our head of course, Andrew jokingly told her that it was the proposal for our college's newsletter, and she fell for it and was totally psyched.
She said that she has been waiting forever for someone to take an initiative to produce and publish a college newsletter, but nobody wants to do it, since my college is SO small and SO new. Anddd when I offered to, she was damn ecstatic and happy about it. O_o
"My day was so bad and it was raining, now that you've said that I feel da sunshine!" ... were her exact words. O.o''
Ok, the thing is, I was REALLY serious about trying to gather a team and come up with a proposal for a college newsletter. It's the kinda thing I've always been dying to do, but I was too bloody lazy in school to ever accomplish that. And now that nobody's willing to take up the baton in my college ... why can't I at least try now, right?
Not to mention, if I get editor or whatever, it would look good on my resume. And the way *I* look at it, since my col is still new, if I started the newsletter and IF everything turns out okay and the newsletter "legacy" continues on ... isn't it a bit like creating history for my college? Setting the pathway for the new kids who are gonna come in, and replace our editorial team when we leave?
Okok, not that noble lah, but you get what I mean. :D But then, I highly doubt that anyone would be fully committed or interested in helping me out. =( And where am I gonna get the funds, ideas and manpower? I can't do everything myself, right? *BIG sigh*
I am willing to put in my 101%. This is fucking big for me. If I could pull *this* off, the feeling of satisfaction I'd get would bypass anything I would ever feel from some random guy, and I would achieve something I always were (and always will be) very interested in. So if I don't turn out to be a journalist, at least I've had a small taste of journalism in college! :D
Actually, I guess it's pretty obvious that I've already made up my mind, right? :P Weighing all the pros and cons ... I guess it's true that maybe the cons and risks are a lil' too high for me to handle.
But I still want to try. That's life. If I fall and make mistakes, the lesson I'd learnt from there would bypass anything I could ever learn from a textbook or a longass lecture.
... *slaps self* Tell me that I'm merely dreaming. Tell me that I can't be a dreamer. =( Tell me that it won't work, dammit, or I'm in for a LOT of shit and obstacles.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006 || Joy, bliss, satisfaction.
- I am happy. =D
WHY? 'Cause this sem, I nearly dropped a toughass subject 'cause I thought the lecturer hated me, and I barely know shit about the sub since I skipped a few classes ... and even when I'm in class, I'm totally listening to mp3s or zoning out.
BUT, I just got back my assignment results today, and I got the highest in the class! :D DAMN COOL! I thought I was gonna fail it, 'cause I did the assignment way differently from everyone else, and it was a big risk. =/
I know I'm being happy about nothing and gloating over ... well, nothing much. But you know, it feels REALLY different from high school, when I hated studying and basically failed everything that includes formulas and maths. Right now, I still hate studying, but my grades aren't like the shit that I'm used to. :D *happy*
Of course, I firmly believe that I'll be getting my first B ever for english in English 101, but oh well. =.=
Picture time! Since I barely upload pics anymore. *malu*
Today John, Andrew, Gavan, Veen Win and I decided to chill out at Megamall after our class. Btw, I bet nobody is surprised anymore that I didn't sleep a wink last night 'cause I've been having severe Insomnia ever since college started. O_o''
Then, we headed to ....
... Toys R Us to camwhore! =.='' Man, the things we do. :D
OK, this will SO be my halloween costume next year. *wiggles eyebrows*
Haha if you think that I'm lame (which I am), I'm not the only one! :D
Another proof of our utter weird/lameness:
Anyway, it's the 31st today! And Baskin Robbins had this 31% off thingy, so we decided to make ourselves obese by committing the worst sin on earth: gorging on ice cream.
Seriously, I am bloated from all that ice cream! Quite literally too. O__O
I heart my friends! *big fake puppydog grin*
Oh, I spotted Minishorts and her bf at Megamall today. I *obviously* didn't dare to ask for a pic with her. hehehe
I have shitloads of pictures to upload, cause I went around taking a LOT of pictures for my gossip "celebrity" magazine that I'm designing for my design assignment. But I'm bringing my make-up to col tomorrow to put black eyeliner for the guys, so I'll wait till later before I upload the pictures. It was, and will be really fun!
Life is good. Love all of you nonexistential imaginary readers of mine! Peace.
Liz the self-proclaimed, living in denial cutie - signing out. Ok hahaha that was lame.
