Tuesday, November 21, 2006 || Hmm.
- Sometimes, I just wish that people would just fucking stop expecting things out of me.
Isn't it ironic, when you sometimes warn people beforehand that you're basically not good enough, and they insist that you have a major case of inferiority disorder and convince you otherwise. And when you simply don't live up, just like you already said you wouldn't, they get bloody pissed and disappointed in you?
Man, fuck you all. I am a stubborn, confused, unsure, arrogant, snappy, selfish and insensitive 18 year old girl. I'm willing to own up to my flaws and embrace them, unlike some dimwits out there who think they're God.
I may fail at improving myself, at being a better person, but isn't that to be expected? I mean, hell, I'm just a normal teenager, who happens to have no sex life whatsoever, and I'm just as lost and as undecided as anybody else out there. Seriously, what do people expect out of me?
My Gawd, I am in the most horrible mood ever. I had an awful day. And the worst thing, is seriously coming home to a house FULL of people, and the sudden realization that you have to share your SMALL room with four kinda big-sized kids for a few days. Omg, my privacy ah!
Anyway, I just heard that some people thought that I made out with this guy in a club yesterday. And to confirm all potential rumours or suspicions, I was much too NOT drunk to make out with a guy and not remember it by today. I highly doubt that I have Alzheimers.
And seriously, if I DID make out with whoever in a club, I would fucking own up to it. You've gotta be kidding me. I don't owe any loyalty to Dickface anymore, and I most definitely don't owe anything to anybody else. And my virginity is still very much intact, thank you very much.
I really don't know what is right or what is wrong anymore. I keep on making really bigass mistakes all the while, and some of the prices I'm paying are really draining too much energy out of me ... but I'm holding on. I have to try, right?
Sigh. My house is noisy. I hate noise. I can't even think about all my shitty problems without having someone screaming up my ear. =/
