Wednesday, November 30, 2005 || I'm happy!!!!! And I wanna go to US!!!
- Listening to: Bic Runga - Sway
Mood: SUPERFRAGELISTICEESPEEAIDOCIOUS-LY HAPPY
Oh, I'm happy!!!
Like really, really REALLY happy!
Biology was HARD. All you studious people have ME to thank. Why? ...
... Because stupid people like me'd definitely pull down the graph. Thus, your As will be a lot easier to obtain. =)
By the way, who the heck is Daphne Teo, and why is everybody on Technorati searching for her all of a sudden?
But putting that aside ... I am EXTREMELY RELIEVED that it's over. VERY VERY relieved. It felt as though I was wearing a freaking metal armour for the past three weeks or so, I was so tense and UNlike my usual happy-go-lucky self. =(
But in continuation from my previous post ... What now?
Well, I guess my MAIN priority, for the moment at least, is to have as much fun as I can. (But considering how I seem to have fun all the time, I actually doubt that life after SPM would be any different from life before it.)
I'm actually DYING to go to US for a holiday. Because my 'sesated', countrylesss cousin brother is there, and I've always been DYING to experience the culture and visit all the cool places there! Like Texas (I LOVE COWBOYS, baby!) and L.A!
My cousin is staying in San Francisco, which I'd KILL to visit as well. Even though, apparently, it is like THE gay territory. Plus, its The Land of The Free, dammit!
So I casually tried to bribe a.k.a beg a.k.a pressure my dad into letting me board that damn plane. And allow me to apply for a visitor's visa. And hopefully give me the cash I'd need to go there.
I tried everything, really. For once, my wit is at loss.
"US is, like, the place for me to learn new stuff! Tons of fabulous museums there!! Like the San Francisco Art Museum!" (I dunno if got such museum or not, I simply crap wan.)
"Daddy ... You know how they say you should grab ALL OPPORTUNITIES when you're still young?"
"I love US. It is such an inspiration to me. I mean, George W. Bush has got to be THE most fantastic president EVER!" (Dad: What the heck does that have to do with you wanting to go there?!)
"I NEED TO PRACTISE MY SOCIAL SKILLS!!! I don't have any friends here in Malaysia. I'm so lonely. I'm so sad here. And you know, I heard the people in US very friendly one. Somemore, cousin Dan has many, err, friends!"
Despite my best efforts, my father still said ... NO.
#%$#%$#%$%$^$%#$#$@##@!#@$
But never mind. So a few days after he nicely rejected my desperate pleas, I received a phone call from THE cousin Dan. Who sounded very very happy and gay (No pun intended) to talk to me.
"Why are you calling? You hardly call!!" I happily went.
"Oh ... I just wanted to call to tell your dad about your VISA." lovely Cousin Dan went.
At this point, my heart went BANG BANG BOOM, obviously.
Me: "WHAT?!?!??!?!?!?! Oh my gosh!! What the! That is SO NICE OF YOU!!!!!!"
I swear, I sounded like a puppy who was just given a damn bone.
And cousin Daniel uttered these words that shattered my already frail and fragile heart.
"Why do you sound so happy about YOUR DAD coming to US for a visit? Not going to miss him, dear? Oh by the way, tell him that he can apply for his visitor's VISA at the US's embassy website bla bla ... "
MAHAI!!!!!!!!!!
OH God, what have I done to deserve this?!?!?!?! I know I've sinned a lot ... A LOT ... But still! This is too much.
Blargh.
So the father's going to US (most probably) during December or January. HE GETS TO SET FOOT INTO THE LAND OF THE FREE, THE PLACE WHERE NIGGAS RAP IN BACK ALLEYS, VISIT ART MUSEUMS, CHAT WITH PEOPLE WITH COOL-ASS ACCENTS AND FLIRT WITH CUTE WHITE DUDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, except the last one lah. Hahaha. Damn unfair wei.
*wipes tear*
I am going on a mission to start MASSIVELY KISSING my dearest cousin's ass. (Not literally lah, don't be dirty minded) Maybe I can bribe him with some BryanBoy handbags, or something. Whee!
But nvm. There's still the US exchange program that Joshua was telling us about. Maybe I can go for that.
And thinking on the bright side ... If I go for Joshua's exchange trip, I can go with maybe one or two of my friends! Which is a lot more appealing than exploring America alone.
And maybe if that happens, the two (or three) of us can hit on hot, white guys together. Thus, more eye candy, right?!?! (... Though the thought of the TWO of us getting raped together is a bit morbid, though slightly kinky.)
Ohh, I just heard from my youth leader that our church's newsletter is out already! AND, she told me that when my youth pastor submitted the newsletter to the US church for approval and stuff, the pastor who approved the newsletter commented to my youth pastor that the youth section of the newsletter is very 'very well written, even better than what qualified pastors come up with'. Which, the youth section is done by ... ME!!!!!!!
Erm, I'm not bragging. I'm just very VERY flattered, because I'm not even a religious person. And my articles, I didn't think they were good. I really really REALLLLLLLYYYY am very very happy today, despite the "bad news" about US.
And to think, a few days ago, I was discussing with my mum about my plans. I ALMOST gave up journalism, because well, I'm willing to admit that I'm not much good in writing. Plus, journalism isn't really a fantastic way to get rich. But I guess God sort of answered my prayers. (Wah cheh, religious sial budak ni ...)
SO I AM GOING FOR IT!!! NO MORE DOUBTS ABOUT GETTING A SMALLASS PAYCHECK AND BEING JOBLESS WHEN I GRADUATE!!! I CAN DO IT!!!
Aja-Aja fighting!!! ^___^
Oh, my God, I sound so lame, I'm even using korean phrases now. ^^Y
- Post edited! Cause I'm too lazy to create a new one!
Okay, so I am extremely traumatized, scared and pissed off right now. I've just realized that I lost my form four biology book ... And you all know what that means. Hmphh, I am SO DEAD!
And when I'm stressed ... I write. Music is my therapy, and writing is my remedy.
Literally. Though sad to say, I'm not very good at both. :(
*cracks knuckles* Time to de-stress!
I doubt that this'll be any good, since its written under a LOT of stress and trauma. T.T
'Tick-tock, tick-tock, time is fleeting, beat the clock ...'
Samantha woke up with a gasp. Cracked, gray ceilings greeted her eyes as her mind drifted to The Dream again. She felt cold sweat trickling down her back and she held her blanket close to her naked body, trying to bask in the temporary warmth the piece of fabric provided.
'Why do I feel so sore all over?' Samantha wondered, rubbing her eyes as she slowly moved away from her bed. It was cold, and it was dark. She reached for the light switch, and turned it on, but only a dim, flickering light was produced. She shrugged, and turned around --- only to gaze at her reflection in her mirror, which made her gasp.
A petite girl with long, wavy hair and huge, doe-like eyes gazed back at her. There were bruises on her neck. Bruises, which were not self-inflicted, yet she had no recollection of how they'd gotten there.
Another mystery.
Another unanswered question.
And the dreams ... So real, so tangible. Yet, they were only dreams. The very same dream that replayed itself in the depths of her mind over and over again ......
'Tick-tock, Tick-tock ... Time is fleeting, beat the clock.'
***
"Are you enjoying your meal, child?" Samantha's grandmother asked her, gazing at her over horn-rimmed glasses while sipping her english tea. Samantha tentatively chewed at her garlic bread and smiled brightly at her grandmother.
"Yes, grandma. You know how much I love your garlic bread." she chirped, feeling young and happy, as though she was 11 again.
"You really ought to bring your friend, Celeste, back for tea more often. Such a darling, that girl is. Mightily talented young one too. Why, if there'd be anyone I'd admit to be better at singing that our Samantha, it'd be her!" her grandmother mused, beaming at Samantha while she poured another cup of tea for herself.
'No ... NO!' Samantha's mind screamed out in agony.
And The Dream faded, and was replaced.
"Celeste, why am I always in your shadow?" Samantha softly mumbled while twirling her hair. She was sitting on a swing, in a deserted park, watching the pigeons feed themselves with the bread crumbs she scattered on the grass.
"What do you mean, Sam?" Celeste asked, widening her beautiful hazel eyes at her best friend.
"You're better than me in everything we do. Singing, painting, dancing ...... I try as hard as I can, but I never seem to be as good as you!" Samantha answered, as a single tear emitted from her eyes.
"You're my best friend, and I love you Sam. It's not important who's better."
"Friends till the end?"
"Pinky swear!"
The laughter, the park, and everything else began to fade ......
***
She found herself in a dark forest, running along a pathway that seemed to be endless. Tree branches scratched at her face, while her bare feet were cut by splinters and stones.
She stopped. And the owls hooted.
"Where am I?" Samantha asked aloud, her heart pounding in fear and trepidation, as she gazed at the shadows that surrounded her. Unidentifiable silhouettes blurred her vision while cacophonous sounds heightened themselves in her ears.
"Who are you, and why are you doing this to me?!?!?!" She screamed out.
She fell to her knees, feeling weak. "My grandmother is dead ....... And so is Celeste! Why are you doing this to me!" she yelled as she punched her fist to the ground.
She let out an ear-deafening scream.
The owls hooted and the shadowy figures swayed.
And suddenly.
Silence.
***
Samantha snapped out of her reverie. She gazed at the mirror again, and this time, she could clearly see that her eyes were bloodshot. She fell to her knees and weeped. Gut-wrenching sobs that made her shoulders tremble as she howled.
Suddenly, she felt strong arms around her. Familiar arms.
"Sam ... are you okay? Don't worry, baby, I'm here. Hush now ..." David cooed, while he rocked her in his arms. Darling, dearest David, who was always there for her. David, Celeste's cousin, whom she met in choir.
David, the only man who understood her. And the only man she ever loved.
She shakily smiled up at his handsome, chiseled face . "I didn't kill her, Dave ..." she whispered. "I didn't ..."
"Hush, baby, its not your fault." David whispered into her ears. Words of comfort she needed to hear. Samantha closed her eyes and cuddled against David. Images of the accident, Celeste's screams, and blood still replayed themselves in her mind, but she shut them out.
David knew that she didn't kill Celeste on purpose, and it was all that mattered.
"Hush, now, don't you cry ... There will be a better day, I promise you ..." David softly sang as he hugged her. She always loved his voice. Soronous, eloquent and altogether lovely.
It was his voice that made Celeste and Samantha fall in love with him. It was his voice that made them fight.
Samantha snuggled against David, feeling at peace now that it was all over...
'... Tick-tock, tick-tock, time has run out, you can't beat the clock ... ' David softly sang. Samantha snapped her eyes open and gaped at David. There was a strange glint in his eyes ... the same glint that was in Celeste's eyes the night Celeste wanted to kill her.
She screamed.
---------
I have no idea where I got the 'inspiration' for this. And yes, it doesn't seem to make much sense, cause I wanted it to be ambiguous ... somewhat. So its up to you to decide its message. =D
Happy birthday, Daddy! And also, happy 18th birthday to Darien!
Edited: W00T my much-dreaded BIO is over!!!
Erm, well, I did not study form four AT ALL (hence the lack of ANY revision books) and I barely touched form five, so yeah, the paper was possibly the worst bio paper I ever sat for in my life. And considering how I usually fail bio, despite my 'best' efforts, this SO DOES NOT LOOK GOOD ... =(((
But! It's over!! Wheee! *dances around* On Friday, there'll only be EST, and that doesn't require any revision!
And now the question is this ......
What's next? O_o
Tuesday, November 29, 2005 || Of SPM blues, funny 'fan' pictures, my 'desperate addict', and my horrifyingly scary face.
- Some dude on MSN: Not studying ar, Liz?
Me: Nope.
Some dude: SPM over alredi?
Me: Nope. Still got two more subjects ...
Some dude: If you dont study now, next time have to work very hard wan wor...
Me: Well, I'll work hard then ...
Some dude: Seriously damn hard, you know?
Me: ... Yup. =) As long as I dont have to study stupid subjects that I was FORCED to study in the first place, I'm prepared to do anything. (Don't ask me about this, its one area in which I'm totally GUNG HO about, and I'm pretty sure that nobody wants to listen to grandmother stories =( )
Some dude: Aikz ... I guess you're planning to find a rich lou gong chai den. (KILL me for saying this, but I seriously can't stand La La english ... T.T )
Me: ... No way. =/ Don't be so fickle-minded and judgemental lah, don't naturally assume that I'm lazy just because I don't study the way you do.
Yeah, pretty rude of me right? =.= But honestly, there's nothing I hate more than people jumping to conclusions about me merely by what I say or how I act alone. Geez, you know, the world is special cause variety exists. I'm here to maintain that balance ... There are kids who study, there are kids who don't. There are kids who do drugs, there are kids who don't.
And in both cases, I'm the latter. =P
I've met many different and interesting people from many walks of life. And, well, I know what kind of a life I want to lead. :D I have this friend, her sister is this REALLY good kid. 10As for SPM, straight As for STPM and such. And after she graduated from college with honours ...
....... She became a cocktail brewer in Zouk. =/
And her side of the story was this: For all twenty plus years of my life, I never lived the life I wanted. I studied because I had to, nobody gave me any other choice. And now that I'm old enough to stand up for myself and make my own decisions ... I'm living my own life. I love to drink. And I love brewing drinks. And that's that. I know that people are talking about me, but I don't care, because for once in my life ... I'm enjoying myself.
Which was and still is an eye-raiser for me. I mean, I shouldn't be one to judge, but the first thing that came into my mind was, 'Man, this chick totally wasted ALL THOSE YEARS of hardcore studying ...'
Eek. Seriously wasted. For me, I'm not planning to waste any time. I'm enjoying myself and living the life that I want, everyday. Now, even. And whatever consequences are in store for me ... I'm actually looking forward to them! :D
Lovely lovely SPMers, only two or three more days left of horror. Chill out and good luck, aite? =) No point crying over spilled milk, so lets just inhale deeply and CHILL. =D
Serious stuff aside, now's time for some light-hearted moments. Which, was supposed to be the main flow of my blog, until I got carried away way too often. -_-
... Supposedly inspired by my so-called trademark pose, from Kok Loong. Who, apparently, is going to be the future member of Insulyna.
Actually, I always thought I looked like Pontianak, or Ju-On in my so-called 'trademark' pose. And suddenly, I'm a ninja, LOL.
Yup, where're your fingers ah, Woon? Wahaha.
So I came home, after pigging out at McD, and I came online to hear from Asyraf that I have a 'Desperate Addict'. Automatically, I headed for his site, and much to my horror/amazement/amusement, I saw these pics from this post.
Errrrrr ....... Not exactly my best picture, I know. In fact, probably one of my worsts.
Seriously, am I scary??? =( NO RIGHT?!?
AGREE WITH ME, or embrace my wrath!
And after chatting with Asyraf on MSN a bit, he went, 'Eh Liz, you should take a picture of yourself holding a kitchen knife, you know. While hugging that teddy bear of yours. So sadistic and scary.'
... One random fact about Liz, she never turns down the prospect of a camwhoring session. LOL!
And thus, the evil streak in me begins to, well, reveal itself.
HAHA, I look bad there as well. But seriously, I HONESTLY think i should go try out for one of those local pontianak productions.
Like, it could possibly even turn out to be something like THIS:
Well, in my HONEST opinion, this dude has majorly kick-ass photoshop skills. *SALUTES*
I wouldn't be able to do that in a thousand years! Really!
And I showed that picture to a lot of my friends. And they all had these to say:
1) Wah! Nice photoshop!
AND
2) OMFG Liz, you look like a goddamn serial killer/ghost/shit/pontianak in there. DAMN SCARY!
-__________-
I know I possess the amazing ability to look scary. Don't need to flatter me and feed my ego. :(
Yes, horrific, I am. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY CUTE SMILE + PUPPY DOG EYES + SWEET INNOCENT FACE?!?!?!?
Haha, like I was any of those in the first place. LOL. Just feeding my ever-expanding narcissism, buddy.
In conclusion, I tried to, *ahem* show off my photoshop skills as well.
And VOILA:
Am I as good as thatfreak, the dude who photoshopped my
Am I am I am I? :( *puppy dog eyes*
My inner voice is going, 'Damn Liz, enough of this shit already ...' T.T
Okay! The OC time!! ^^
Monday, November 28, 2005 || Not that kinda girl.
- Okay, so I am feeling confused, sad, disappointed and high on a caffeine overdose now. So this will be a serious post ...... somewhat.
I'm pretty sure that 40% of us girls around are like this. We act all innocent and puppy-eyed around guys and girls alike, trying to maintain an angelic farce and rep. Like, if a guy goes ... 'Do you masturbate?', such chicks will almost DEFINITELY widen their eyes, smack the guy's arm and exclaim, "EEEYER! You're so gross lah! *blush blush*"
When in actuality, they might be even hornier than - ME -.
Cause, you see, I don't hide anything. In my case, what you see is DEFINITELY what you'll get --- even less. Cause I only talk horny and make stupid sex jokes because, well, I don't see any purpose in pretending to be holy and innocent when my mind IS rather corrupted. =(
And so, one of my friends happens to be that kinda girl. You know, the innocent, wide-eyed, religious type that'd wince whenever I crapped about sex. And would tell me to 'behave'. Anyway, I became rather close friends with her over time and she suddenly tells me something like this:
"Oh, I've been having sex with Damon/Jim/(insert random male name here)
... Which seriously makes me feel like tearing my hair out of its roots and screaming in agony.
No lah, just exaggerating. But still, I feel so deceived, you know?
I'm seriously DAMN open-minded about nudity, sex and all that jazz. The one time my friend and I were walking home from 7/11 and we saw a NAKED
I don't believe in reputations. Or following the crowd. Neither do I really care, nor want to know what other people think of me. :D
But I've always believed in myself, first and foremost. I have done many, many crazy, bad and downright STUPID things in my life.
Like the time I shoplifted, when I was dared by a friend, back in form four. (I DO NOT feel good about this, and it was the first AND the last time. :( )
Or the time when I was two-timing some weird feller that I dated cause, well, I was bored.
But those were in the past. And shall remain there. For me, I don't believe in concealing past sins and mistakes, because those'd be dug out sooner or later anyway ... What's the point, right? I might as well own up to it, and face whatever consequence there is.
If I wasn't a virgin, I seriously wouldn't hide it from the world.
But putting aside all the negative confessions I just made about myself ... I still believe in values and I'll never ever let go of my beliefs.
One thing I still believe in is the sacredness of sex. I still believe, and I hold on to the fact that even in THIS day and THIS generation, virginity is still important.
Especially for girls ... Your first time is ultimately going to be your most precious memory and moment of your entire life. Why the hell would you want to give away that moment of pain and awakening pleasure to some random guy who may (or may not) fuck another girl the same way?
Well, maybe I haven't done it before, so I'm not in any position to say this ... But what is sex without love? It's merely a biological reaction that induces pleasure. And THAT'S IT. Nothing more, nothing less. Just nature.
Me, I'm still a hopeless romantic at heart. And despite of all the broken marriages and cases of guys cheating on their girlfriends ... I guess I still believe that true love DOES exist.
And true love waits.
Just like any other girl and guy out there ... I'm a teenage girl with raging hormones. But I also happen to be a teenage girl with a heart. And even though I'll admit that I don't use it enough ... I have a conscience, and I have brains as well. I am aware that NOT studying is possibly going to screw up my future. I'm aware that I might be making the wrong decisions all the time. But those are the risks that I find worth taking ... Because, well, I'm just being me. =D
But being the airheaded person that I am, believe it or not, I almost need to continue holding on and reaching for the dreams and beliefs that make me, well, me.
I think that in the end, it'll make the experience all the more more beautiful, sentimental and meaningful. =)
Why am I suddenly broaching this topic, you ask?
...... Well, a pretty good friend of mine just informed me that she has been having unprotected sex with her boyfriend for a few times last month.
...... And she is still waiting for her period.
*Sigh*
God bless you, my child. :(
P.S. Btw, Happy Birthday to Kenny Sia, who most probably does not know that this blog exists.
Sunday, November 27, 2005 || Lots of pictures. Random ponderings. And lesbian-looking photos.
- Currently feeling - Stoned out
Currently listening to - The Beatles - Get Back
Err, I switched to imageshack.us for the hosting of my banner. *wipes sweat* And I signed up for a flickr account for my pictures.
... As for my old pictures in my other posts, I don't know lah. I tried deleting like TWENTY pictures from my photobucket account to, erm, redeem my bandwidth again (LOL) but apparently, that doesn't work. Bah.
Anyway, yesterday's sleepover was F-U-N! As usual, we didn't sleep AT ALL. Which is to be expected, from our crazy sleepovers. Heh. Bitched and talked about a lot of stuff. Laughed until our jaws hurt. Gossiped about each other's boyfriends/ex-es/whatever.
Fun, I call it. I wish everyday could be as carefree as yesterday. =(
Bad lighting ... -_- And, a bad hair day for me. Bwahah.
I went to meet up with Cally at Pearl Point first, to have lunch and yum cha at the Pearl Milk shop. I brought my camera along, so obviously I was camwhoring a bit. =P There was this guy, the anak taukeh of the Cafe, who came up to me and asked if he could take a picture with me with my camera.
...... And because I was feeling rather nice, and I was in a jolly lovely mood, I obviously agreed, out of courtesy. =/ Which, I won't upload the picture here. Bah.
Cally: "That dude is so obviously hitting on you."
Me: "I know. And YOU'RE so obviously hitting on him."
Cally: "I know. Hehehe."
Erm, I love my friends? Haha. Anyway, I was window shopping, and at this accessory shop, this chick who was working at the shop, whom I noted to be rather small-sized came up to me.
"Hi ... You're my senior!" she went.
"Hi!!! (Told ya I was in a good and chatty mood ...) What senior?"
"I'm in your school! I saw you many times edi ..."
"OHH!!! Wah! What a coincidence! (I should kill myself for sounding so bubbly O_o) Anyway, what's a small girl like you working here?"
... My inner voice went 'EEK!!!!!' at this point. But I just continued smiling cheesily. -_-
"Erm. I'm form 3 already ler."
"Ohhhhhhhh ....... I see!"
... Which was actually a pretty weird ten minutes I spent chatting with my 'junior'. THANK GOD I was in a chatty mood, or I'd just smile and/or smirk away. =( It sort of reminds me of the time I bumped into two chicks at the Megamall toilets, or something, and they asked me: "Are you Eliza Lee of LEO club?!?"
Me: "...... I'm not in LEO club."
Two bubbly chicks: "OH! But we saw you dancing at the IU performance!"
Me: "Errrrrr ... that's a long story. But nope, I ain't in LEO. Not my kinda thing yo."
Two bubbly chicks: "Aikz! WE LOVE LEO! *continues chatting on and on about the loveliness of LEO club* "
-_________-
Anyway, LOTS of stupid camwhorish pictures ahead. As usual, if you have a thing against camwhoring, here's your cue to press the X button on the top right of your browser.
*puppy dog eyes*
So anyway, Jac and Cally (and I) arrived at my house at about 10 at night, after we were done yum cha-ing and such. And because we were so utterly bored and had nothing to do (My dad was hogging the TV, mum was hogging the computer.), we decided to "experiment" with my makeup, and steal some of my mum's. HAHA, I know, very elementary-schoolish of us.
Erm, we're all not that big fans of makeup. I only use concealer, and eye shadow at times. But this time, we actually decided to try out that eye liner I bought aeons ago. Plus mascara. And my mother's blood-red lipstick.
As for the blood-red lipstick ... Only I dared to try it out. Wtf. And a friggin' mistake, it was. =(
Shit, I look like a fat-faced whore or some kinda geisha-wannabe. Asshole Jaclyn's makeup actually worked, so she looked so bloody nice. Ish, jealous-nyer. =P
After gasping at all our initial pictures in terror and horror, I automatically wiped out that darned lipstick. -_- My lips are too thick for lip glosses. =(
Aye. Still look weird. :( But ... tak apa! Hehe.
Gah. I look so ... slutty. Which I'm not!!!
Sohai Jaclyn looks so nice, while I look so retarded. Cally looks cute! :D
And check out Jaclyn's shirt. Hahaha.
And I don't actually blame people for thinking that we're lesbians. -___-
Especially in this picture:
Yeah. Damn gay, I know. =(
Anyway, a few days ago, I was having a conversation with an old friend of mine. And we sort of broached the subject of my nonexistential love life, which sort of made me stop and think a bit.
See, last year, my form four year ... I was really playful. Not slutty-playful, just playful-playful. I was ALL OUT on having fun, as I was bored to death of playing the 'nerd' role with all my school friends. So I guess you could say that I fooled around a bit.
By all means, I wasn't a player. I just strayed a bit. And no, I don't feel proud either.
Sometime at the end of December, I vowed to just stop. And so I did. I've realized that I haven't been dating anyone for the past year, since December. Nor have I liked anybody ... The last guy I sort of really liked dissolved from my life last December.
So, I guess I should salute myself for being so 'berprinsip', yeah? =) It's like ... I'm SO USED to being single and enjoying myself with my friends already. My best friends and I never used to be this good friends, cause Jaclyn was busy with Simon last year, and Cally was still living in Cheras at that time. Hmmm.
I'm happy I made that decision. Life is just weird that way. Hehehe.
I actually sort of like this picture.
...... I can camwhore alone.
...... I can do it with friends. Hehehe.
After trying to 'ban cool' for so long, I FINALLY decided to smile.
...... Not exactly the cheesy grin that I like, though. Jaclyn obviously hasn't given up trying to look cool yet. Heh.
Group picture! (yeah right)
I SWEAR, I must've been a goddess in my past life. A goddess with that trademark pose. (I know I look like shit there though)
I'm so influential. HAHAHA!
*kembangs*
AND BE FOREWARNED: this is where it starts to get incredibly STUPID.
I have absolutely nothing to say in my defence. Guilty as charged. Ehehe.
Interesting bunch we are.
Man, we look like such posers. =(
Like so ganas only.
It took me a LOT of guts to NOT delete this upcoming picture. And even MORE guts to post this up here.
PROMISE THAT YOU'LL STILL COME BACK, EVEN AFTER THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Okay. *inhales*
... I look like #@$%#$#%#$#%$%$^T$T here. Jaclyn and Cally said that if I made that face in the middle of the night, they'd scream cause I look like a ghost.
More reasons for me to be casted as a ghost in a scary flick. ='(
Don't I look like I just strangled Jac and Cally to death, and then grinned maliciously at the camera? -_-
HAHAHA I like this!!!
I dont care if I look bad! =P
...... Almost.
Check out my guitar!!! :D
And lastly, (Yeah, thank God, huh? =P )
Us doing a Rambo impersonation. Or something. HAHAHA.
....... We're nuts, I know. :(
I think that I'm the type that'd look okay if I was the one holding the camera, but look shitty when somebody else is taking the picture. *scratches head*
Anyway, I should stop here lah! I think this post is too long already. I'm still wondering if there's any way to redeem a bit of photobucket bandwidth.
Till next time!!!
Saturday, November 26, 2005 || B.R.B
- Eh, my photobucket bandwidth exceeded!!! How now?!?!?!
Erm, anyway, I'll update later with some pics! =D
... My best friends are staying over at my place. SLUMBER PARTY!!!!!!
My photobucket bandwidth!!! T_T
Sorry, I think I'm sorta hyper-high now. Hehehe
Friday, November 25, 2005 || Of blogging, scary flicks and weird photoshopped pictures.
- Today was fun! :D
Erm, anyway, something pretty funny happened. According to the best friend (as most of you already know, since she does appear in my blog a lot -_-) Jaclyn, some dude, who shall remain anonymous added her in MSN Messenger, and if I do remember clearly, the conversation ran along the lines of this:
Some Dude: Hi
Jaclyn: Hi, who are you?
Some Dude: I went to ur blog. I saw ur pics there.
Jaclyn: All the pictures there are fucking ugly kay. (she thought the dude was referring to HER ... LOL, which meant she assumed it was those cacat BryanBoy poses and shit.)
Some Dude: No wor. Very nice wor.
Jaclyn: Very ugly lah right. Btw, how you get my email?
Some Dude: From your blog lor.
Jaclyn: Oh. Unfucktheworld? (which happens to be her blog)
Some Dude: Nono ... suemefordreaming something.
Jaclyn: ... That is my friend's blog
Some Dude: Aiks? Are you the guy that pimped her?
Jaclyn: Wtf?
Some Dude: Are you KY?
Jaclyn: Siapa tu? Anyway wtf I pimp her for, you think I very free ah? Pimp myself better, I more leng lui. HAHAHAHA.
Some Dude: Oh ......
Jaclyn: Why? You wanna kau Eliza?
Some Dude: I am very yong sui ... sure no hope wan
(My thoughts: what is wrong with you guys?!?! So fast change topic direction wan? -_-)
Jaclyn: Nonono, she like yong sui guys ... Funny can edi.
Some Dude: I'm not funny wor.
Jaclyn: Nvm nvm ... I give you her number wan? Her email u wan?
Some Dude: I dunno what to say to her wor.
Jaclyn: ... Seriously no hope lah you. Go wank lah.
(Note: If you're the dude who added my best friend and had THAT convo with her, don't be pissed if it didn't exactly go that way, kay? I lost the chat log she sent me, so I'm merely typing it out by memory.)
My question is this: HOW THE HECK DID ANYBODY GET JACLYN'S EMAIL FROM MY BLOG?!?! Only my email is displayed, wat!
Actually, I guess that since I'm on the topic, I ought to talk about this. My friends and all are saying that it isn't very advisable to display my MSN contact on my blog, cause I wouldn't want random crappy people like those who add me from Friendster to add me in MSN Messenger, right?
Plus there's the whole blogger-and-blog privacy thing. Heh.
But, I LIKE meeting new people. Online and otherwise. =) And most of the people that I meet via my blog are really very nice people! (If you're reading this, this could mean YOU. Wah cheh.) But of course, don't add me for stupid reasons lah.
... But nothing beats the DUMB people that add me in Friendster. Sorry, it may come off as offensive but Friendster is seriously a pile of LaLa shit. :(
So reveal yourselves and let's have a beautiful beginning to a possibly beautiful friendship. =) LOL!
Anyway, this is damn funny. You know my so-called post about my love story that was merely a joke? I purposely made it DAMN FAKE, even from the beginning itself, and I honestly wasn't expecting anybody to fall for that pile of crap. Seriously.
I was wrong.
My dear friend, Kok Loong, SMSed me four times the morning after that post, with all the messages going along the lines of 'Eh, don't be sad wei. Don't cry k. What's passed is in the past wei.'.
Which was really very nice of him. But unfortunately, I was CREDITLESS for two days at that time (I reloaded it already today! So spam my phone, ya!) so I couldn't reply.
... And he thought he pissed me off by adding salt to my wounds. Hehehe. It's all cool though. =D
Which, erm, makes me feel a bit weird. I mean, my blog is SO low profile already, compared to the likes of the other so-called big name bloggers, and I have people assuming that I'm having hot sex with girls (well, lesbianism.) and all that jazz. The whole reason I started this blog was amusement. Self-amusement, mostly. Hehehe.
I never really intended my blog to have much substance. I'm not saying that I'm an airhead, or that I'm not thoughtful AT ALL ... It's just that, all of us, myself inclusive, have so much shit going on in REALITY already. Why should I add controversy and fire to this alternate reality of mine?
Imagine if I blogged about SPM and my conflicts with my parents/enemies/boys/friends ALL the time. A bit too depressing right.
That's why I WANT to be amusing. =( Even though that's probably failing. HEHE.
Never mind. I am amused, and that's enough already. Haha!
But nope, I'm not writing this to look noble or anything. In fact, I'm secretly a traffic whore ...... Though I haven't been doing much to quench that need of mine. LOL. So PLEASE don't take me seriously, kay. Coming from me, unless I STATE that I'm being serious, most of the time I'm just exaggerating. I'm a laid-back joker and entertainer-wannabe by nature ... I'm only dangerous when I'm pissed.
REALLY dangerous. ;)
I'm not blogging for fame, just in case you were wondering ....... But don't count on that either. I have a REALLY impulsive system, I myself cannot predict how evil my mind can get. Hee-hee. =P
Today was fun.
Cally's boyfriend came off as a surprise. Seriously. That dude KICKS MY ASS in dancing, lip-synching and doing stupid stuff in front of the camera. Another fellow camera whore. Dammit, he even sung some Andy Lau song and recorded it on Cally's phone. -___-
I was surprised, cause Cally usually goes for seriously horny and boring, small guys. No offence, dear. Jaclyn likes 'em fat and funny.
... I like 'em old. And witty. And horny. ARGH. And I thought I was somewhat normal. (Not old old. Like, few years older than me old. Twenties, preferably. LOL. And no, Jin, I don't go for OLD men for their cash. -_-)
Anyway, I watched Cello! Which was a REALLY NEAT scary psychological thriller.
Very worth a watch, in my opinion. Cause UNLIKE most scary flicks, this show actually made sense ...... somewhat. Heh.
But eh, not scary enough lah! What happened to old-school scary flicks like that coolass The Fly?! (Which was a 1970s flick. Heh.) And I remember watching a really scary show about clowns when I was younger, too. Which kicks the socks off new age horror flicks. =(
...... Told ya I'm lame. *shrugs helplessly* And yes I know I look like shit there.
I should act in a scary flick, I swear. Don't I resemble the chick from Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam? (Or whatever the title is, can't remember.)
Err. Took that pic some time back. Didn't purposely camwhore for this post lah ~ =P
BUT, NOTHING will beat this, man:
*drools at so-called trademark pose*
Eh, people! Continue posing like that wei! =P Spread the love, remember?!?
...... Right. =/ I'm so lame. Eheh.
Thursday, November 24, 2005 || Of horny MSN conversations, screwed up SPM papers and my shaky future.
- SICK conversation between four girls:
The Buaya is Jaclyn, Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni ... is Cally, Mun Yee is, er, Mun Yee. And Liz is VERY traumatized is, well, me of course. Heh.
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
i wan baby blueeeee.....damn nice ler...lolzzz
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
i want anal sex
The Buaya says:
babe blue suxx
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
i wan 3D sex movie....blowjob toooo,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hahahahahahaha
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
U WANT TO SEE SEX?
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
COME TO MY HSE
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
MY BLARDY DOGS ARE MATING LIKE MAD
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
i wan 3D wan ler
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
i write this convo in my blog
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
...
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
oi
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
>_<
The Buaya says:
yeah
The Buaya says:
sure
The Buaya says:
Jesus loves you.. even perverts
The Buaya says:
so put tis in ur blog
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
okies
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
SEX!
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
THE MANY WAYS OF TRAUMATIZING URSELF IS TO WATCH SEX REPEATEDLY AND GET SICK OF IT
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
or.. do it repeatedly
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
I KNOW UR VERY WELL EXPERIENCED
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
she got fucked before lah
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
not like us
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
i'm fucked
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
I KNOW...I CAN SENSE IT THRouGH HER BIG BUTT
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
okay???
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
no.... my butt is very small.. juz like urs
The Buaya says:
muahahahahahahah
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
muahahhaah
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
SWEAT
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
small butt = painless sex
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
huhuhuhuh
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
eh? wrong theory
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
HAHA..
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
SWEATTTTT
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
I LIKE TO TALK BIG
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
butt big or small doesnt matter.. what matters is the hole
The Buaya says:
yeah cally
The Buaya says:
you are so smart
The Buaya says:
like me
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
BUT ..... IF UR BUTT IS SMALL.
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
HOW U EXPECT UR HOLE TO BE BIG?
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
can.. stuff in carrot 24/7.. how small also can be big lah
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
U DO THAT?
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
wtf
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
jac do tat oni...not me
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
O_o
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
WTF JAC?!
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
yes....do u see her butt so da BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
The Buaya says:
tiu you lah
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
its not big
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
its berlemak
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
=X
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßà ßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
BIG SWEAT
Disclaimer: Bear in mind that we ARE a bunch of sex-deprived, somewhat horny chicks, but we DO NOT speak like this all the time ... Well, most of the time. =P
I hereby announce that I'm traumatized.
Seriously. My knees are weak. My hands are still shaking.
My mouth is still watering.
Haha, stupid jokes aside, I AM traumatized. Add maths was pure HELL. Seriously, I think I left the most blanks I ever did in my entire life ...
... And seeing how I ALWAYS fail add maths, I guess this time is no exception either. And nope, I'm not seeking for pity or anything like that. =(
I didn't study for it. Therefore, I deserve to fail. Hehe. Just have to get used to that, I guess. What was REALLY funny, though, was the fact that I freaking forgot to bring my calculator for my second paper.
Which proved to be VERY VERY VERY scary and nerve-wrecking. PLEASE DO NOT try this at home. :( I had to literally beg for a calculator from my school discipline teacher.
The one who constantly got on my nerves for having long fingernails. :( I DECLARE THAT MY PRIDE IS CRUSHED!
*sniff sniff*
Okay, putting aside the comic relief, I was speaking with my parents and my uncle about my post SPM education plans a few moments ago.
Hmm. It's a really weird feeling, you know. I've been waiting for this moment practically since the first minute I stepped into Science stream (Cause I hated it to bits, yeah. Still do.) but now that the moment's HERE, somehow, it's a funny feeling.
All the planning and dreaming that I did ... are now about to possibly make a transition into Reality ... if I allowed it.
The thing is, I'm not too sure anymore. =(
All the plannings that I did ... were they sheer rashness? Were they dreams, and JUST dreams, brewed by my eagerness to leave the hellhole I call school? (Note: By all means, I don't hate school that much ... I've just always felt sore about how they forced me into science stream, heh.)
I love writing, yes, but I hardly doubt that I'm good at it. Do I want to write for a living? Am I prepared to feel obliged to write?
It's a weird feeling, really. O_o It's almost as though I'm rediscovering myself.
I've always wanted to be a war correspondent, but I guess it IS pretty apparent that I love my ass too much to risk it being bombed by landmines. =/
But anyway, I'm reconsidering these: (though I know that you're probably not interested ... hee)
Journalism - The power of the press. To write for a good cause. To be given the opportunity to be an honest voice amongst the hundreds that don't give a damn.
It's what I've always wanted.
But I'm not sure if I'm up for it. =(
Culminary/Food and beverages - I love eating, and I actually DO think that it'll be a really nice and fuzzy feeling to see the happy smiles on the faces of satisfied consumers. Hehehe.
Tourism/IT/music/business - Tourism is pretty cool. I don't know if this is an option, but maybe I could major in Journo and minor in Tourism, so God willing, I'll be able to be a travel journalist. WHICH WILL BE ULTRA COOL.
And will do my blog good as well. Come on, you'd definitely read a blog that actually featured exotic places, weird food and sexy people. Unlike my current boring one. =(
IT, something I'm pretty interested in, but probably not something I'd want to make a career off. Besides, at the rate I'm going, IF I do take up IT as well, I'll be a brain cancer patient by the age of 30, lolz.
Music - I think I ruled this off, considering how utterly RUSTY I am with my electone, and how I forgot how to play my guitar. -___-
Business - Tempting. Especially for power-hungry penniless nuts like me. LOL.
Only the strong survive in this field. That's why I find it so remarkably tempting. But knowing me, I'm not the type that'd submit to authority ... So it'll probably mean that I'll end up opening my own shop or something. =(
And the way things are looking, the ONLY kind of shop that I can see myself potentially opening, is a bakery. Cause Cally is currently studying Bakery, and she wants to be my partner. @_@
I guess you could say that I'm artistically-inclined. I CAN'T stand mathematics cause I'm bad with numbers, and science bores me out. A lot.
........ I still feel like strangling myself when I think of my add maths. BUT, I guess I should let it pass ... No point freaking myself now, huh? :(
Sorry for the boring post. Hee-hee.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005 || A heart-wrenching tale of my first love and I.
- Listening to: Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You - Air Supply
Mood: EMO
Am feeling very sad, touched, lovesick, emo and disconnected at the moment. :'(
Maybe it was because of my incredible stupidity in writing 'Saling bekerjasama dan membantu' instead of 'Saling membantu dan bekerjasam' for my moral paper.
Maybe it was caused by my fleeting and sleepy mind, when I was literally scribbling shit on my moral paper, that my mind wandered to him.
And now, I feel like I'm ready to tell the tale of my loved one and I. The unedited version. Something even my best friends have yet to hear. An experience I will always cherish, and will hold close to my heart till eternity. =(
It may be long. It may be boring. But I'm too overwhelmed by this wave of emotions to care. I need to do this, and move on.
We met in Adventure Camp, he and I. I went alone, as my friends were all in their LEO Leadership camp. I remember standing at the receptionist's desk, staring at the crowd, hoping to see a familiar face ...
Then I saw him.
Dark brown hair, twinkling dark eyes and a million dollar smile that literally melted my heart into melted marshmellows. I widened my eyes and choked on my coke, due to my thumping heart, which was out of control.
"Hi ... you okay?" he asked me, in a deep, soronous voice that sent tingles down my spine.
Which sparked the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And later, an even more beautiful love story, more tantalizing than any fairy tale. Sweeter than the sweetest of apples. Lovelier than diamonds.
"I love you, darling ... " I whispered to him. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I gently pulled him closer for a sweet kiss. We were both young, energetic and hopelessly in love. Full of zest for life and even more for each other.
I stared at the dark, cloudless December sky that twinkled with stars, as Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven softly played in the background. His arms enclosed around my waist, and he whispered sweet nothings into my ear that almost made cry.
"I love you too, Liz. For everything that you are. For the person that you see in me. The person that I am, because of you ......"
I gave him my soul, my heart, and my virginity that night.
But like every fairytale, there must be an ending to a story.
And here is mine.
Like almost every weekend, we met for our date in MidValley. It was a day like no other, and I was happy and gay, unknowing of the pain that was about to embrace me.
"I have something to tell you, Liz ..." his haunting voice still echoes in the depths of my heart, till this very day.
"I'm not in love with you anymore ... "
I felt hot tears well up in the corner of my eyes and I shook my head, not wanting to hear anymore, yet he continued ......
"I'm so sorry ... I did love you so ... But I fell in love with Eric ..."
Which caused my heart to stop beating as I gaped at him. Eric was my tennis partner.
"I never told anybody this, Liz ... But I'm bisexual." He said, almost a whisper.
I was crushed.
For the first time in my life, I finally knew what the word 'heartbroken' meant.
I was torn apart from the depths of my heart, for in the same day, I did not only lose my boyfriend, and the love of my life ... But I had lost Eric, as well.
I've learnt so much from him. I've learnt that first love is as sweet as any other. I've learnt that some memories never fade.
Some scars never heal. Time has healed the wounds in my heart, but I will never forget his dazzling smile, or his intense gaze. I still shudder when I think of his touch.
I still love him, nor will I ever forget him. =(
I've learnt that I'm who I am today, because of him.
I've also learnt that SPM is perpetually screwing with my brains, thus resulting in me becoming a great liar. HAHA!
I'm so bored. =_=
Tuesday, November 22, 2005 || Liz is hurt. And saddened. :(
- Listening to: Kim Bum Soo - Bo Go Ship Dah
Mood: Hyper
Okay, I PROMISED myself that I'd refrain myself from blogging today, much less twice in a day ... But I can't help it. This is simply too good and juicy to pass up.
And oh, I've managed to destroy all the spybots. There were 130 spywares in my computer. =( And um, I noticed that two of them were called Adult Store (wtf?!?!?).
WHO HAS BEEN USING MY COMPUTER TO SURF PORNO?!?!?! *grabs baseball bat*
Err. Right.
Okay, like many many of my previous posts, this post is undoubtedly going to make me look utterly dumb and bimbotic. But I shall let that slide, hehehe.
*enters stupid-brainless-pathetically-funny mode*
Anyway, I heard from a friend of mine, who shalt remain anonymous, that one of his friends commented that I am a lesbian, after reading my blog. Because, well, I write about myself and my best friend, Jaclyn a lot.
I profess that my feelings are hurt. ='(
TRULY SADDENED, I AM! *wails*
No lah, I was in a normal mood (meaning I was my normal, cheery self yeah.) so I started laughing.
Do we look like lesbians to you? DO WE?!?!?
Fine, maybe we do lah. But that's because we're BEST FRIENDS, per se, so we tend to spend a lot of time together. It has always been that way, since we were both eight years old or so.
So how do you explain this?! Cally joined our low-profile best-friend partnership this year, after she moved to Old Klang Road. So now we're all happily a threesome, is it? So now the three of us are performing lesbian acts, is it? (Granted, probably nobody'd be remotely interested in watching THAT, given the huge lack of sex appeal on our parts ...)
How about my school best buds and I, then? =(
Actually I probably shouldn't have posted that picture up, seeing as how Suet has already cut all ties with us. But this is the most lesbian-looking picture I could find. -_-
And anyway, I'm from a girl's school. Which, of course, all-girls schools are often rumoured to be packed with lesbians/bisexuals/whatever.
When, in actuality, I think I only personally know maybe two lesbians. Well, unless there are a lot more closet ones lurking around.
I DO know a couple of bisexuals, though. O_o It seems that bisexuality is the new black. Actually, there are times when I think that I myself am bi as well, seeing as how I have tendencies to drool over hot chicks. But I pretty much clarified that I'm straight, cause despite me going 'WAH! HOT CHICK!' at certain pretty girls, I do not have any intentions to have, err, further relationships with them. LOL.
I honestly wouldn't mind being bi, though. Seriously. Then if my future boyfriend (if I ever have one, that is ... huhu) ever drooled at other chicks, I'd at least be able to understand WHY is he drooling at them ... Right?!
This is seriously funny lah. Why is everybody so crazy and free to make such stupid assumptions about each other? So what if I prefer pussies to dicks, anyway? -___-
*just joking*
Discrimination. Bleh.
These two dudes take a lot of pictures together as well. Does it mean they are gay? =( Fine, they probably are, but there's no way anybody can prove it, right? =(
Since I'm SORT of on the subject (not really), I was shaking my leg a bit when I was having lunch with my friends just now. Out of habit. I'm pretty sure that everybody does that every once in a while ...
And my friend told me that he read in some health mag or whatever that when one shakes his/her leg, it means that your body is subconsciously telling you that you are high. High as in horny-high.
-____________________-
Crap, now I'm going to have all sorts of weird things in my mind whenever I see anybody shaking their legs.
Monday, November 21, 2005 || Of judgemental assholes and hot gay guys.
- Listening to - Destiny's Child - Stand up For Love
Mood - Mellow (Ya, again.)
This song, Stand up for love by Destiny's Child, is such a good song. O_O
Short update on my life. My dad and I have patched things up, due to my sudden eagerness to buy dinner for him and help fold my mother's clothes. -_-
I've lost one of my best friends (or so I thought ... Hmm) because she won't forgive us for accidentally teasing her boyfriend and wishes to cut all ties with us. Though I'm still hoping that we'll be able to salvage this shreded friendship ...... Somehow.
Was supposed to meet up with Wilson today but I failed to do so as I was happily dozing. And he woke me up, with an SMS that went, 'Eh where are you? I'm with Jaclyn now. Wah, I saw Ivy. VAVAWOOM, WOW!'
... Which I didn't reply, as I was half asleep. -_- Catch up with ya some other time, alright dude? Hehe.
Went to O.U.G again, to buy some stuffs for SPM ... *coughs* ignore the nail polish I bought. The dude from the Pearl Milk shop is so ... flirtatious. Though I usually don't mind flirtatious people, I find it annoying when somebody you don't know that well acts all buddy buddy with you. =/ I had a blast, though. Was really FUN crapping and bullshitting with my friends.
Thank God for real friends. =(
This time, from Jin of quicksilverlining.blogspot.com, otherwise known as qsl.
You people really make my day. =D
Love ya love ya love ya.
Take a look at THIS picture:
Okay, so the first thing that comes to my mind, when I look at it, is 'Ooo sexy ...' (Yeah, I know I'm not exactly holy. So sue me. =P)
So I uploaded it as a display picture in my MSN, and I was amused to see that asides from MY own initial reaction, there were other pretty interesting responses.
'Eh who's that cutie?'
'NICE PECS!'
'Damn Liz, Take out the picture of that half naked guy before I stop talking to you.'
'You're gross. That's so gay.'
Haha, this is where I go ... It must be nice to be bisexual. >.< See, if you're bisexual, you'd be able to view world from TWO POINTS OF VIEW. How cool is that?
So, you see, everybody has different reactions towards different people and has different tastes for different things. No two freaking people are the same. For instance, you may find me ugly, but I may think that I'm rather pretty indeed. But in any case, I'm not in any position to question what you think of me, neither are you in a position to attack mine.
Life's like that. You gain some, you lose some.
I guess nobody is perfect after all, eh? We're all bitches. I don't believe that nobody in the world has NEVER bitched about anybody else before. If you haven't, please email me, I'd love to get to know you. Hehe.
There's one thing I can't stand. I cannot stand self-righteous people who think that they're amazing, when in actuality, they're merely another shadowy face, amongst the millions that grace planet earth. I hate people who think that they have rights to point fingers at my life or anything else that concerns me. -_-
Unless I've done that to you too, that is.
Um, actually, I think that I'm going to start keeping a safe distance between my real life and my blog. Obviously, people are not really interested in my life, right? And if I write and rant about my private problems all the time ...... Well, people are going to make assumptions about me. And I know that most of the assumptions are not exactly ... nice, since people prefer poking at negativity most of the time. Hehe.
My life philosophy is this: What does not benefit me, I shan't do.
That's why I don't smoke or drink, like some of my friends do. Nor do I sleep around or anything. Because I wouldn't want to hurt myself ...... Or anyone else, for that matter. Even if somebody intentionally tried to hurt me, I doubt that I'm the type that'd bite back, since I'm too lazy to give a damn half of the time.
Yeah, stupid post, I know. It's partially due to the fact that my computer is OVERLOADED with Spyware that I can't seem to get rid off. :(
And when I complained to my friends about it, 4 out of 5 of them suggested that I don't visit porno sites so much.
WHAT. THE.
I don't. I really really don't. *puppy dog eyes*
Sunday, November 20, 2005 || I loooooove kids.
- Listening to: Sugar Ray - Fly
Mood: Mellow
It turns out blogger doesn't have a password-protected post feature. O_o
Nevermind, so be it. Though I'll really have to admit that my petty problems with my parents, my ex best school friend, and whatever else has nothing to do with this blog, as I'm trying to make it as impersonal as it can get so that no hard feelings will come with blogging anymore.
Still love it, though. :D
And I'm pretty weird. Whenever I'm feeling really angry or sad, I need to do something to fill up my time and slowly come to my senses. Hence the second post in the same day. Which, is written, ultimately to make myself feel better. Hee-hee. =)
Anyhow, this is going be something like a prequel to a post I wrote around last month, about attending a kindergarden graduation ceremony.
See, a few months ago, I actually *gasp* volunteered myself as a teacher's assistant at, get this, a KID'S camp, which is aimed at kids aged from 4 to 8 and held at an kindergarden. Actually, I wasn't even interested in noisy kids back then, but I was forced to volunteer along with Jaclyn and Ivy, hehehe. And besides, I needed the certificate and pictures for my SPM Moral Project. -_-;;
And it has been possibly one of the most life-altering experience of my life. No kidding.
Slightly late to post about it, ay, but I shalt do so anyway. It'll do good for my mood, hehe.
I miss them all. =(
So I was assigned to help Martha, a lovely, motherly lady from the US with the eight to nine year olds. And the other assistant assigned to help out was, err, Cally. Best friends DO stick together, ya.
I think that the so-called moral project that our lovely education ministry has bestowed upon all SPMers is total bullshit. Seriously, nobody sincerely does the required volunteer work. Talk about teaching teenagers to lie, hehe.
And, the coolest thing was, Joshua even drove us (Jaclyn, Cally, Me, and the four teachers from America) to the KL Bird Park the next day. Cause, well, he's nice. Lol.
When I was younger, I used to love the story of The Ugly Duckling. Heh, you know, the story of the ugly duck that was shunned by its family and peers because it was brown and ugly. So it went into seclusion, and it grew up into a beautiful swan, prettier than all the ducks who shunned him in the past.
I love the moral value in the story ... Don't you?
I didn't exactly camwhore much, yeah.
This kid is the cheekiest feller I have EVER had the privilege to meet throughout my whole life. -_-
Me: Eh Kevin, who is Jesus?
Kevin: CHICKEN!!!!!
-__________-
Soooooooo cute!
This kid, Justin, has REALLY made a difference in my life, though he'll never ever know of it. Hehe.
I never knew I had the capacity to adore anybody before. But I absolutely adore this kid to bits. Still do. In fact, not intending to sound pedo or anything here, but I think I actually have deeper feelings for Justin than for Ezra, who was supposedly the biggest school-girl crush of my life.
=( I miss the kid.
Eheh. Their mother is a lucky lucky woman.
And since everybody seems to hate me for camwhoring:
WHO SAYS ONLY NARCISSISTIC, HORNY TEENAGERS ARE PRO CAMWHORES?!?!?
This kid is going to grow up to be soooo pretty.
And this kid is going to be a HUNK.
Carlo's dad is mat salleh, I think, which explains the ultra leng chai face. Lolz.
*cracks knuckles* TIME TO HUNT FOR A CUTE BOYFRIEND!!!!
No lah, just joking.
But really, I wish I could rewind time and relive that four days again. Meh, to tell you the truth, I even told my counsellor/teachers/friends/whoever who bothers to know that I'm reconsidering to be a child therapist or kindergarden teacher.
These kids, they're all awesome, amazing kids with SO MUCH potential that I see in them. I think I used to be like them, hehe. But I never had somebody in my life to inspire me to be a great person, when I was growing up.
Which probably explains the less-than-great person that I am today.
All of us, we have people we look up to, people we want to be like. When we were much younger, it was the action heroes we'd watch on TV and probably our parents. Somewhere along the way, I found that I didn't look up to my parents that much anymore, not enough to want to be LIKE them. And the heroes I watched on TV ... I soon learnt that they were all fake, just like Santa Claus and the North Pole doesn't exist.
I still wish I'd met someone who inspired me to grow up to be an amazing person, though. Maybe I'd have turned out differently ... Better, even. =/
Maybe I can be that someone in somebody else's life.
- In a HUGE contrast to the lovely mood that I was in yesterday, I'm in a horrible mood today. Horrible as in, psychopath-maniac level pissed.
So if you're easily offended ... Leave lah. I actually wanted to password protect this post, but I can't seem to do so. Ergh, whatever.
So I woke up today feeling pretty rejuvenated and refreshed. Then my dad had to pick a fight with me. Over what, I shan't speak of it. But to cut things short, there were a lot of yellings, accusations and even, heck, my stupid tears.
One thing about girls, they always cry. I guess I'm no exception, despite how much I try to count on being SILENT during fights. Which, I find it to be the best way to infuriate your 'opponent', by the way. Cause if somebody intentionally wants to piss you off, the best way is to offer them the utmost OPPOSITE effect that they're expecting. It will undoubtedly piss them off even more. Heh.
Anyway, I know that as a dutiful, good girl, I'm not supposed to speak badly of my birth parents. But screw that. I'm pissed. And when I'm pissed, morality does not exist in my vocabulary, and I can be as vicious as I want to be.
I do admit that they're pretty good parents. And that I know that they love me a lot. But they never believe in me, EVER. I have even sort of jumped to a conclusion that no matter what I do, and how much I excell, they will just simply fail to notice me, for, well, me. They'll still continue deluding themselves that I'm the pathetic, talentless, unplanned younger sibling of my supposedly amazing older sister.
I hate nothing more than not having the people I love appreciate me. I did everything I could, or so I thought. I studied like HELL, even though I hated it, and cried myself to my sleep every night when I was in form one and two, because I thought that it'd make them proud. Yeah, sure, they'd smile and pat my back when I showed them my As, but there'd still be the constant 'When Elaine was your age, she was already working in Hilton as a waitress to support her own living ...'.
So I rebelled. I stopped studying for the sake of pleasing them, and to save myself from going possibly insane.
... And they still don't react any differently towards me. Heh.
So what are they trying to prove now, by showing that they care now, after all those years? Telling me at this VERY LAST MINUTE that I need to obtain straight As and get a scholarship, or start working immediately after SPM is so low.
And when I said, "Don't worry. The day will come when I'll repay you every single cent that you've spent on me in this lifetime."
Which, was really rude, I'll admit. But people don't think when they're riding on andrenaline and anger.
He replied, "You can't. I don't even EXPECT you to. You're not like your sister."
I really am disappointed. Disappointed how some people in this world EXPECT me to be a certain way to be accepted. Disappointed that I can't even live a life I want to live, without being judged and critisized by holier-than-thou dolts. Disappointed that even people that I DO NOT KNOW and do not, in any way, give a damn about, are interested in physically harming me.
The stupid, weak girl that I am.
I never expected world peace. Life is more interesting when its conflict-driven. But I'm not out to hurt anybody, my parents and you inclusive. Even if you've hurt me. I still hang on this tiny thread of hope that one day, I'll be able to be myself, and for once in my life, be accepted for who I am.
But, for now, that isn't going to happen.
I will NEVER be as socialble, daring nor as courageous as my sister. So she had the guts to work for the money she wanted, to buy the cigs and beer she wanted. So she's impulsive and reckless, ready to take on the world with her sharp tongue, should anybody look down on her.
And yes, I will never be as immensely likeable and appealing as other bloggers. Sad to say, unlike Swifty, I doubt that I'll be able to totally disconnect myself emotionally from my blog and only focus on appealing topics to garner more traffic. No, sad to say, the sad lives of other people are not my concern. Unless I intend to exploit them, for whatever reason my mind brews up.
I'm only interested in being ME. I only like seeing -MY- face on my blog. Other people, unless they are people I actually care for, like my friends, are not my priorities to please in life.
God, I was so damn pissed at everything today, with my problems with Suet Foong, my loving parents and everything else, that when my poodle jumped up the chair and sniffed my tuition teacher's crotch, I didn't even laugh.
I only smirked.
But, I guess, somewhere along the way, while writing this post, my anger has dimished ...... a bit. I've always been aware that I'm not particularly talented at writing, and that most of my stories are only so-so at its best, but it is truly my biggest love and solace in life. That's why I have always wanted to be a journalist. Not the gossip-mag type, but one that'd be able to change lives with the words that I'd pen down. The way I feel a sense of happiness when I read a good article that speaks to me, heh.
But the way people are being so malicious nowadays, I really feel tempted to set my sights on different goals altogether.
The power of the press. That's real power. Though not so much in Malaysia, since freedom of speech isn't a big thing here. Heh.
But no, I guess I shouldn't focus on destroying the lives of delinquents. As stupid as it sounds, I still think that I'm a pretty good person. I wouldn't go all out to hurt someone, for whatever reason that is. I doubt that I'll obtain much satisfaction in seeing already-lifeless people crumble, anyway.
Don't know what I'm speaking about? Frankly, I don't know, nor do I care either.
Sigh. *sniff*
Edited: On a MUCH lighter note, I finally read my school mag, after so many days. And I'm happy to see that the class page I did was the best among the bunch. ^_^
Whee ~ I did everything, okay. Well, only the designs, the photography and 50% of the captions. But still!
Well, at least that's the one good thing that happened today. Heh. My friends are trying to get tickets for Harry Potter tomorrow, and I guess that'll cheer me up as well.
Saturday, November 19, 2005 || A lot of pictures. A LOT of pictures.
- Before I proceed.
WARNING: A lot (and I mean a lot) of stupid pictures ahead. You should probably leave if you dislike narcissistic camwhores.
Bear in mind, I don't camwhore like this all the time. Just that I haven't touched the camera since SPM started (Wait ... wasn't it only four days ago?!?!) and I was in a ridiculously GOOD mood today. ^_^
Especially since I FINALLY got out of my house and hung out with my friends in the rain, woo-hoo!
Now I'm listening to Elvis Presley, Bryan Adams and chilling out. Life rules.
And to think, it is going to be even better after SPM. Hehehe.
So this is going to be mostly a picture post. I do know that a lot of people dislike camwhores and posers, but what the heck, I haven't done this in awhile. =(
Anyway, before I launch into my disgusting pictures.
I LOVE YOU ALL FOR SPREADING THE LUV!!!!
This time, from thatfreak of www.tabulas.com/~thatfreak.
Hohoho, LIZ LOVES YOU ALL, all you fellow 'Ju on-esque'-ers of mine!!!
Normally, I'd post up my so-called trademark picture for comparison's sake, but I don't want people to get TOO bored of it. So.
Tak payah lah.
And oh, KY pimped me. Ya, I know I look bad in those pics. Huhuhu. O__o Go and, err, support me. Hehehe~
*cracks knuckles*
*yawns*
*stretches*
... Okay, I'm getting too drama. Heh. Anyway, went out to yum cha with my best friends today. Wanted to bring my camera along, but decided against it last minute because I already have way too many pictures of our usual hang out place. -_-
So I came home and felt intensely pleased and happy with myself, for no apparent reason. So I camwhored again. -_-
On a stupid note, I bought this T shirt today. I swear, you're gonna laugh your ass off. O__o
*jeng jeng jeng*
I'm telling you, I do the stupidest things on a regular basis. It costed me RM10 k. I'm pretty mad at myself for letting my dumb friends CON me into buying it, but at the same time, I can't help feeling amused also. Hehehe.
Don't you just love my wacky ways?
....... Yeah right.
And on a much more depressing note. I think I've put on a LOT of kg, though I didn't check. It must be because of my screwed up sleeping schedule during my SPM, cause I'd sleep immediately after dinner at about seven. *wipes imaginary tears*
Never mind. Huhuhu. =( Will diet after SPM, I promise!!!! *lies*
Actually right, I myself don't have a clue why I camwhore so much. It's annoying, right?!?! Seeing my cacat face all the time, watching me act as though I'm the loveliest person on earth, when I'm not. =(
I guess its the fact that I really love myself. LOL. No lah its for, erm, future reference. :P
....... Even after that picture, I still love myself. *puppy dog eyes*
I've just realized that I have very big eyes. HAHAHA!
For the sake of looking even more retarded:
And after that, I decided to try my, errr very nice new T shirt that I bought purely because I really, sincerely liked it. Really. I'm not bluffing you. *fake cheesy grin*
Errrrrrrrrrrr. I'm also pretty speechless. Erm, at least its cute?
Right?
RIGHT? T.T
Is there such a thing as MSP?
As opposed to PMS, haha. I am seriously in a damn happy mood today. Not to say that I'm usually PMS-sy, cause I don't even get PMS, believe it or not. I must be a man trapped in a woman's body. LOL, jkjk.
And the shirt is nice. *lies through teeth*
This is a Special Edition Ju On-esque picture. And it goes out to all the lovely, lovely people who posed for me. YES, it can be YOU!!! So watcha waiting for?
SPREAD THE LUV!!!
Okay, I know I sorta spoiled the pose with that cheesy smile. But never mind lah. It's dedicated to lovely people, so should be a happy thing, right?!?
I think my cheerfulness is a bit too much today. -_-
I look like shit in the first. I think my so-called cheesy grin succeeded in the 2nd and 3rd one. HAHAHA!
Ish, talk about narcissism. I seriously have a bad case of it. =(
And this, my official 'Buaya'/hamsap/horny/kau chai smile.
LOL. Ish, I look so ....... Er. Out of words to describe myself. Heh.
Ahaha, my pathetic, sad girl-next-door pose. -_- Which sorta failed as well. Apalah!!!
Actually, the teddy bear was my fifth birthday present. Can't remember from who. LOL. I named it Christy. Shit, reminds me of my good pal Christine, lol. -___-
Anyway, the whole reason I camwhore, besides admiring my normal-yet-ultra-kawaii face, is so that when I'm 27, I'll have loads (and I mean LOADS) of pictures of myself. I also collect a lot of pictures of my good pals, heh. And I'll be able to see if I get uglier, fatter, chunner, hotter, or thinner.
Which I'm hoping to be the last three lah, of course. Heh.
Friday, November 18, 2005 || Blissed out, tired, and happily gay family members.
- Heh. Though you guys are probably sick of my SPM rants.
PHYSICS 1 - No idea. Was probably okay, though, considering I 'shot' my way through the whole thing.
PHYSICS 2 - NO COMMENT. There was a question, 'Namakan Get Logik M' ......
And I answered: GET LOGIK M. Talk about holy cheese. -_-
PHYSICS 3 - You guys REALLY should see the experiment I came out with. I nearly fell off my chair laughing at my own creativity cum stupidity.
Overall, err, considering 0 preparation for it, guess it was okay. Left a lot of blanks, though. Wanted to write something like 'Tolong bagi aku pass!' in all the blanks, but I figured ... What if it was an old, pregnant, moody lady?
Die. Hehehe.
Anyhoo, not going to stress about exams today. Pretty long post ahead, I think. (Cause I have a lot of free time, per se. =P)
*blushes furiously*
Tsk tsk. What was once a lame, pathetic existence of a doofus-ish girl is now getting influential, I'm telling ya.
And now, see THIS:
Featuring fellow blogger and SPM-er Vincent!
I'm getting influential ya. Soon, I'll be technorati's top search, instead of Dawn Yang.
*JOKING*
CONTINUE SENDING ME THE LOVE, YA'LL!!! Spread the love! World peace! It's all for a good cause, really. *coughs*
You know where to reach me. HAH!!
Hehe, if you've been following my blog, you'd sort of know that there is a pretty huge fight in my circle of friends. And the main characters, Ivy and Suet, had a bitchfight today.
What's more scary than cockroaches are REAL LIVE PMS-sy women, I'm telling ya. *shudders in horror at memory*
Quite sad eh. It's so close to the end of school, yet everybody's fighting. Mm, I blame it on SPM, for no apparent reason. =P
--------
Hehe, for the first time since my SPM started, my father finally decided to lecture me about my intense lack of studying. Which sort of surprised me, 'cause he's usually a pretty laid-back type.
See, one thing that is pretty unique about my family; We're not scholars. Almost all of my relatives, my immediate family inclusive, are somewhat street-smart and definitely not bookworms. I'm probably the first person in this family chain to score straight As in all government exams (excluding SPM, but I shalt ignore that for the time being.).
So, you see, I have this aunt. She is sort of crazy. She isn't exactly downright insane but let's just say she's REALLY crazy. Think Pinky in Pinky and the Brain. The ghost in the Ghostbuster's team. Err, Shin Chan in ... Shin Chan. =/
And obviously, crazy parents'd produce crazy kids. And her son, my cousin, who happens to be 12 years my senior and my older sister's partner-in-crime is even Crazier.
I thought I'd seen it all. I really thought I did. I thought I was the craziest, since I have tendencies to post up stupid pics like this.
But this guy kicks the arse off mine in the insanity department. My crazy aunty is a bloody rich lady in Singapore (Which means I should kiss her ass. So I can go there for an extended visit and kiss XiaXue's ass. And get her to publicize my blog, woo-hoo! :P), therefore she sent her beloved son to US to study, like all loving rich mothers should. And so the son went, all alone, to embrace a new country, culture and society.
He fell in love with America, all right. And became happily gay. (No pun intended. I have nothing against gays and bisexuals anyway. Do you?)
And he was never a 'study person', like me. He is probably as selamba as me.
*plays X files theme song*
And he forgot to renew his student Visa a few years back. And didn't give a damn about it. So now he's, erm, sort of like Tom Hanks in The Terminal, if you catch my drift.
Country-less.
CAN YOU *censored*ING BELIEVE IT?!?!?!?!
I didn't know until a month ago or so. Hehe. I was definitely shocked out of my wits. In fact, I dont think that I'd have found out if I didn't pester my parents to let me make an overseas call to him, to beg him for a place to stay in US after SPM. -_-
When I really think about it ... It runs in our blood. My family members are all professional hippies. We're a bunch of devil-may-care, lazy (if I may say so. Sorry!), carefree people. That's why I tend to ... stray a lot. =/
My dad is a retired sales person who lives on potato chips. My mother is a housewife who manages to catch every single episode of War and Beauty, without fail. My sister is a sassy air stewardess with a sharp tongue and brains, who made some VERY wise investments in God-Knows-What over the years. And happens to live in Kowloon, Hong Kong, with a handsome rich mat salleh boyfriend who moved to HK and bought a house there because of her, and she flies to Milan, Paris and other glam places every holiday to
Me, I'm a hopeless journalist-wannabe, who thinks that she has massive potential in possibly achieving great things in the world, but fails to realize how lazy and possibly how untalented she is.
Yes, weird bunch we are. Weird post, huh? I don't know, just felt like writing about it, hehe.
I REALLY DO LOVE YOU ALL. As nonexistential as 'you all' are. =P And really, I'll love you more if you guys gimme more Ju On-esque pictures! LOL
Eh, come to think of it ... With weird blood running through my veins, will I someday become a lesbian and find myself stuck in Moscow?!?!?!?!
I usually don't do this, but. KNNOMGWTFBBQ!!!!!!oneone
Ya, I know I'm lame.
Edited: FINALLY, after five hellish days, I've had enough sleep!!! (Enough sleep, in my vocabulary, means more than 8 hours of slumber =P)
NO studying or books today. Hee Hee. Such a lovely lovely day. ^_^
Thursday, November 17, 2005 || You'll see me in heaven.
- OH SHIT!
I was *supposed* to wake up at 3 to study physics for two hours, to hopefully cram one or two chapters of knowledge into my woozy brain, but I overslept.
HOLY CHEESE AND SAUSAGES!!!! (Yeah, feel like eating those now.)
It means that I'm officially sitting for the exam with the knowledge of an, erm, Arts stream student.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Actually, I'm pretty interested to see how things turn out. If I somehow manage to pass this stupid exam, I'll cry for joy and grab everybody I see.
Heh, I think that I'll be dancing with the angels in heaven soon enough.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005 || Let's comfort Liz. LOL.
- Oh, my life-long wish to participate in a blog war has begun.
Jon Ling has declared war on me!
*finds parang*
Hehe. But anyway, I'll REALLY have to salute myself. You know how I've always said that I'm so great, smart and everything?
SEE HOW INFLUENTIAL ONE PICTURE CAN GET?!?!?
Call me Liz the goddess.
Come on, people! Show me the love! Take pics of yourself in Ju-On-esque mode, its easy. Just put on a fake glare, scrunch up ya fingers, and POSE AT THE CAM! SEND ME THE LOVE, YA'LL!!!
Okay, ignore the BryanBoy resemblance. It is intentional. :P Just joking mah.
On a more serious note, however, the fight or whatever you call it between the Babe, the Babe's boyfriend, Ivy and I (I'm assuming that the rest aren't involved...) is getting pretty intense. So much that even Jin is commenting about it in his blog, haha.
Seeing as how blog wars seem to be a trend nowadays, I shan't defend myself here. Besides, I don't see any reason for me to get defensive. Blog wars are not meant to be held between people we know personally, anyway. It's just too ...... morbid.
Truth be told, this whole SPM shit, and getting out of it alive, is all I care about at the moment.
I still love you guys, Darien and Suet. <3
Okay lar, I better not make the whole situation to appear to be that light, seeing as how they're really pissed about it, while I'm still ... mellow.
But I'm really not bullshitting when I say that we really did want to apologize today, for whatever drastic crime we commited. But oh well. Things happen.
Anyway, I got back my school leaving certs and testimonials today. WTF, my teacher placed me in LEO and Rangers. When I have absolutely NO interest, nor did I sign up for these clubs.
Goshhh, I HEART YOU, Puan Asimah! You rock for not giving me zero marks, which I deserve!
Hehe. And SPM was slightly more tolerable than yesterday, I guess, though I was plagued by a horrible headache. My history is screwed, but let's not dwell in the past. My english essay was only 'so-so' at its most, too. :(
I really should start cursing my headache and the Gods of Slumber. But never mind, regardless of how shitty I think I did in both english and history ... It's in the past. :( I'm powerless to change anything now.
I'd love to type out my whole essay like Suet Li did (I thought your essay was great, girl! Definitely kicks the arse out of mine.) but unfortunately, I don't really remember what I wrote. Shit.
Modern maths later, doubt that I'll score well for it, considering my huge lack of preparations for it. *yawn*
Is pretty funny, this conversation I had on the phone with my so-called tuition teacher.
The Teacher: "So are you prepared for your mod maths and physics?"
Me: "Not at all .... Err, stupid question, but let's say I don't know ANYTHING at all for physics, since the last time I touched a physics book was last May, do you think I stand a chance to pass?"
The Teacher: "Ya. Don't worry. Cause there are a lot of people who are stupider than you, even if you use your natural intelligence alone."
*gloats* Okay lar, I guess he was just bullshitting. But oh well. Fake or whatever ....... At least a small ray of hope has shone on me, right?
Edited: Now I know why I'm so, err, uneducated.
My dad asked me, on the way home, "Girl, you have your MCE right?"
Me: "...... It's SPM."
Dad: "Ooo ... how many As are you aiming for?"
Me: (Was feeling cheeky ...) "Two lor. Three if I'm lucky. Four if I'm blessed. Five if a miracle happens."
Dad: "Oh ... okay. Cool."
...... OMG, I swear, if it were any other parent, they'd freak out. -_-
I guess I should be thankful. =/
Tuesday, November 15, 2005 || I'M ALIVE!!!
- I'm alive!
*gasp*
Shit, BM was horrible. So horrible that I don't even want to talk about it. Right now, I'm in a state of total delusion and refusal to grasp the horror of reality. Yeah, it was bad.
But of course, due to the fact that I was rather numb throughout the exams ... I know not of how well or badly I did. To cut things short ... I guess I wouldn't be surprised to fail, neither would I be surprised if I got an A. Though the latter is definitely a lot more appealing.
I always knew that I'd be screwed during SPM, granted that I almost never study at all. And one thing about me ... I never regret. Hmm. Even failing my physics and all that jazz ... I CAN go through it. God bless me, may I not fail anything, though.
The worst part of it all is my insomnia ... I mean, usually, I can sleep, but somehow, during exams, whether I care about it or not, my body automatically goes into EXAM mode. Which means no sleep. And even with goddamn SLEEPING PILLS, I can't sleep either.
SPM kills ... I'm beginning to think that that the phrase might actually apply to me, as strong as I proclaim myself to be.
And to make things worst ... here is a simple story of what happened today. See, the usual gang of mine (school gang, not my usual gang) hung out during the 2 hour interval after our BM papers. And naturally, we crapped a lot lar. And one of my good pals (though after today probably not very good edi :( ), let's christen her Babe, got severely pissed by The Sweet Ivy and me by this very simple conversation.
Babe: I'm going to majorly DIET after SPM.
Me: What the heck for lar? You're so thin, if you diet somemore, you'll look aneroxic, like stick only.
Babe: I WANT to look that thin .......
Me: .......
Ivy: Dude ar, how can you be so thin? DeeDee (her boyfriend) will look so fat beside you ler.
Me, babe and everybody else: ....... *cues warning sirens*
Ivy: Yeah lar. You know, last year, I recorded a video record with my video camera on how Eliza said he should go for Marie France.
Me: WTF??!?! (I actually REALLY don't remember saying it, believe it or not. -_-)
Ivy: Yeah. Don't deny larrrr, I have the video!
Babe: *puts on an OMFG! face and saunters off*
Shit, and when I came online just now, her boyfriend's nickname was 'HEH ... Stupid bitches. I'll get my revenge when the time comes. You guys know who you are. =)' or something like that.
WHAT. THE. *BLEEP*.
Great. Another addition to the list of people who hate me. (Actually, I dont think the list is that long ... But now there's definitely two people on it, hah.) To think that SPM was bad enough ... Now I've probably lost a friend, 'cause Babe is known to be ultra sensitive, and gained a possible enemy.
*wails*
And to top it off, I COULD NOT FUCKING FIND MY REVISION BOOK for The pearl. Which means, I'm pretty much clueless about its settings, themes and whatnots.
You know, I've always sort of thought that English was a sure A for me. But seeing as how my english has severely deteriorated rated over the past two months, I'm not sure anymore. And now that my literature is screwed, there goes another A down the drains.
I really, really feel like crying. :( But I don't usually cry ... Crying makes me weak, doesn't it? I really want to cry. But the tears won't come, I'm just not used to crying. And crying over spilled milk makes me feel so ... weak.
Sometimes, I wish I didn't feel the need to be so tough. I wish that I could just brawl my eyes out and release all this stupid, unnecessary frustration in me. I know that even if I fail my SPM (TOUCH WOOD, I guess.), I wouldn't cry.
I need a hug. *sniffs* Someone hug me? Please?
I havent studied History yet either. I don't think I'll sleep at all tonight. Great, there goes two lovely nights of slumber. My stamina is going to reach its limit soon.
On a more positive note, however, Andy called me up and gave me almost all the moral values, themes and such for our Lit paper. *WIPES IMAGINARY TEARS* THANKS WEI!
I feel so bad, its not even my credit. :( And you may have just saved my life with that call, dude.
Friends are good.
HUG ME, PEOPLE! ......
Monday, November 14, 2005 || Dramatic Farewells.
- Oh, my beloved and lovely-yet-possibly-nonexistential readers of suemefordreaming.blogspot.com ... Truly, I have missed you all so.
Ish, drama betul.
Anyway, I'll be having my much-anticipated SPM exams in less than 15 hours ... HOW COOL IS THAT?!?! Oh, how I've been awaiting this moment since the day I was born. To sit in stuffy examination halls with a few hundred zombie-like creatures with the clock going 'tick-tock tick-tock ...'
And suddenly ... "SILA BERHENTI MENULIS DAN MENYERAHKAN KERTAS JAWAPAN ANDA SEKARANG!"
Oh, the sheeer joy of it. Ish, I should really start being more sarcastic. :(
I ate THIS for dinner yesterday.
Such a dutiful SPM student, am I not? Hahaha.
"FAREWELL!", says Liz.
To her messy cupboard, usually plagued with underwear and untouched, dust-covered revision books.
"GOODBYE!", bids Liz.
To her lovely, dirty and long fingernails, which she'll undoubtedly have to cut before the clock strikes midnight.
And just to prove what a loyal and studious girl I am by making such lovely usage of her time.
Ho shit, apparently, my lack of sleep is taking its toll on me. My trademark pose is in danger!!! Noooooooo!
Once I'm done with my
Today was damn funny.
So I in my room, changing, when I decided to sleep on my bed and relax in the nude for awhile. So I was lying on my bed and I remembered that my ass-kissy tuition teacher hasn't come around for the past two weeks (actually, I forgot to call him to, LOL), so I decided to give him a call and ask him over to help me out with my physics, which I have not read since May of 2004 (Yeah, I'm screwed.).
So I was dialing the number when my mother suddenly barged in, yelling, "Eh, where's my shelltox???" WITHOUT KNOCKING.
And bearing the fact that I was naked, I screamed.
My mother screamed.
My tuition teacher picked up his phone at the same time, heard us screaming, and he yelped as well.
WTF. Damn it, its not even safe for me to be naked in my own room anymore. What a tragedy!!!
What I'm planning to do during SPM: Sleep a lot. Eat a lot (Eh, must maintain the carbs .. More energy!).
I wish I had the balls to do this. My friend and I were crapping the other day, and I came up with a really beautiful plan to 'make SPM memorable'.
See, horribly unfortunately, I'm seated RIGHT IN FRONT of the examiner's desk during SPM. So before the papers start right, I ought to make a BIG fuss and go, "SHIT! I can't bloody sit here!!! NO FENGSHUI, DAMN IT! Lilian Too said cannot face South during exams!!!!"
And when the examiner asks me to STFU, I can just continue muttering under my breath. And replay the whole scene for the next 3 weeks, so that the whole school will have my antics engraved in their brains (thus gaining myself more popularity, hah!).
So, you see, when I get my results during March, and assuming that it's pretty bad .... I can easily go, "SHIT! I knew I should've faced south! Lilian Too is NEVER WRONG!!!" and walk away grumbling. Thus, nobody will even bother comforting me or sympathizing with me. (You see, there's nothing I hate more than sympathy. :( )
Okay lah, no offence to fengshui fans. :(
And AFTER SPM, I'm going to:
PARTY!
PARTY!!
Dye my hair.
Get a job. (Maybe?)
PARTY!!!
Eat A LOT OF GOOD FOOD. While, err, jogging.
Watch every single movie I've *coughs* missed out on.
Did I mention party?!?!?!?!
And oh, I think I'm annoying the pants out of everyone around me by singing The Carpenters' - End of the World. :( With edited lyrics. 'Why does the sun go on shining ... Why does the sea rush to shore... ? Don't they know, its the end of the world ... It ended when I applied for S-P-M ...'
Yeah. Annoying indeed. BUT the future looks promising! Woo hoo!
I suppose I should say something like, I'm going on a hiatus and will only be back on the 3rd of December!, but I'll still be around. Sheessshhh, I need guestbloggers!!!
*wipes tear*
Saturday, November 12, 2005 || Shit.
- Shit, I am so screwed.
I've just realized that there is NO WAY I'm going to do relatively well in SPM. Or even averagely well, for that matter.
S-H-I-T.
I must stay strong ....... Yes yes, Eliza Lee isn't a loser. A lazy person, perhaps ... A loser?
Nah.
*mutters under breath*
And Friendster is just getting lamer and LAMER.
God! First it was the non-stop chain bulletin messages. Then it was the SMILES (I really don't get the point of this. I really don't.). Now it's some kinda 'Yo, I think you and my friend have a lot in common! Let's set you guys up!' thing.
EWW. Fine, I know that I always complain about my singlehood and all, but I'm not interested in dating sites, yeah. *coughs*
Actually, I guess I'm just finding lame excuses to rant. As opposed to being in SPM mode, I'm still dwelling on the sides of PMS.
What to do. Struggling and lazy student, I am. *insert angelic and vulnerable face here*
What is wrong with all the blog wars that are happening in the so-called 'spheare nowadays? O_o
I mean, yeah true, it does make for interesting reads, because really, who doesn't like watching other people brawl it out?
And to think I used to wonder why dogfights are such a hit in Korea. Bleh. Not that I approve of it, I still don't ... :(
Everything's so weird and out of place nowadays. I feel like fighting myself ... Would do good to my mood and ego. *cracks knuckles*
WHO WANTS TO HAVE A BLOG WAR WITH MEEEEEE?????
Err. Right. :/
Talk about timing. I don't even have a curfew today and I'm still at home crapping my ass out in this small space of mine. Boo-hoo. :'(
Shit, if only I have something, or someone to take up some of my time. LOL. *hint hint*
Man ... I think I should take up a new hobby. Like collecting stamps, or something, and stop blogging. Or record more podcasts. -_-
And oh, I just ruled off plastic surgery. Apparently, after the whole Dawn Yang fiasco ... It did sort of enlighten me. If I suddenly look ultra chun, people will dig up my ugly past. :(
Woo hoo. DAMN SAD WEI.
Especially since the 'current' me looks better than the 'old' me. Okay, fine, maybe not. But let me continue living in self denial and delude myself anyway.
So if I suddenly look like
.... this, it'd be bad. Very bad. Tsk tsk.
There goes my life-long dream. Boo-Hoo. :(
Shit, I REALLY should take up stamp collecting.
Friday, November 11, 2005 || Of nipples, Dawn Yang, beauty and whatnots.
- Lame attempt at studying #324353423: FAILED (Yeah, get used to this. :()
So I was soundly sleeping and dreaming (*ahem*) in my lovely slumberland, when the best friend called and disrupted my moments of peace.
"Oi *censored* bai, wake up!!! Can I come over?"
Me: "I'm sleeping lah ... I'm supposed to be studying ... Zzz."
"Aiya, you so smart, don't need to study wan lar. (Geez, thanks a lot for misusing my soft spot for flattery. :( )I come now k???"
So the best friend arrives, in all her black glory, and awakens the lovely sleeping princess a.k.a ME.
And thus, upon her arrival, she and I stalked BryanBoy.com (yeah, again. What to do, gotta love narcissistic dudes with pink handbags.) and she moaned and whined about her nipples showing in our picture that was lovingly displayed in BryanBoy.com.
GOT NIPPLE MEH?!?!?! I don't see any, really! Do you? Hah!
And after that, we stalked beautiful Dawn Yang's blog. Just for the record, I really am very straight. Just that, well, I like admiring the more beautiful creations of God mah. And pretty she is. Tsk tsk.
But I dont actually think that being that gorgeous is necessarily a good thing. Of course, in her case, it IS a good thing cause she wants to be an entertainer. For me, I prefer being AVERAGE (Cause that's what I am, yeah ... Hehe!) so that I don't get addicted to my reflection and camwhore ALL THE TIME to the extent of people being more interested in my face than in ... ME.
And come to think of it, with my average looks itself, I have a tendency to worship myself and my self-proclaimed cuteness already. =/ Can't really begin to imagine how utterly HOPELESS I'll be if I'm as sexy as Amber Chia.
Fine, I guess I sound like I'm jealous of them. Hmph! But I'm not bullshitting when I say that good looks doesn't really impress me much. =P Who takes eye candy seriously anyway?
It's the personality, age (I can actually think of a LOT of guys who are cute but happen to be younger than me ... TOO BAD! Age seems to be important to me. -_-) and good command of english that turns me on. Yeah, I'm pathetically horny. So what?
As though everybody else are angels. :(
I actually wrote about this before here but that was merely an attempt to display my shameless narcissism, so I guess it wasn't written with the right aura. LOL.
This korean chicko, Kim Sun Ah, isn't exactly drop dead gorgeous in the stereotypical way ... BUT I FREAKING LOVE HER. Her acting and charisma blows me away. Not to mention, her co-star is totally my type. Hehehe.
Okay lar, I'd better stop bullshitting about other people's beauty before I come off as majorly kepoh. Hehehe. As always, I have weird tastes, so don't mind my constant ramblings, yea?
And oh, CJ just sent me a pretty interesting post about Dawn Yang. Apparently, she has underwent plastic surgery before. (?!?!?!) Unless, of course, that post is bullshit.
What say you? O.o
Actually, if you asked me, I don't really care. If I wanted to be an actress, with my current looks, obviously I wouldn't get there, right? And if being in the entertainment industry is my passion and dream ... Plastic surgery may be an acceptable option, perhaps?
I think its a bit degrading, but oh well. Whatever goes.
I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF TO SAY ... But I'm sleepy. *yawns* Will be back soon!
And oh ... Liz's so-called audio post. Listen to it if you want. It isn't exactly 'clean', especially at the end, so if you're innocent, don't listen to it ya.
Don't listen to it if you can't stand immaturity as well. -_- We're crazy.
And yeah, I know I sound bad. Ish, luckily I don't plan to be a radio DJ or something. :(
Thursday, November 10, 2005 || in the mood.
- Lame attempt #23354 at studying: FAILED. Again.
| Your Blog Should Be Purple |
 You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say. |
Wow. Damn true. *Tsk tsk*
I think the Gods of Education and Studying have something against me. Everytime I even try to hold a book, I get attacked by sudden spasms of wanting to do something else. Like eating. And blogging. :(
I think I'm really too damn impulsive. =/ Like a lot of people have told me ... I put a lot of focus on my needs and I do whatever to satisfy them, with no thought of the future. As low as I think SPM is ... I am aware that it holds a pretty strong possibility of screwing my life altogether. And I'm still taking that risk.
I can't study. Not because I can't, physically and mentally, but because I don't want to. I'm gross. Yeah, that's the only word to describe myself.
And its raining. I love the rain. But I'm starting to hate it, cause I can't play in the rain, and soak myself in the raindrops anymore, until the 3rd of December anyway. :( Plus, it makes me feel like sleeping ...
And I'm thinking about a lot of things. Things I SHOULDN'T be thinking about.
Like, why the hell didn't I hit on Ezra back then? Granted, I was only fourteen and still very much in 'fugly' mode ... But I still should've tried, right? Just so I can go, "YO, I flirted with the cutest guy on earth before, ya know. I am the man!" now.
Okay, that sounded wrong. But, whatever. AT LEAST I CAN BRAG ABOUT IT!! Even though I wouldn't get him, still ... Ish ish.
And also, what is it about men in SUITS that I find so hot? The whole working suit and tie thing ... Yummy. And apparently, a lot of my friends find that hot too. (Ya, hint for you guys out there.)
Older guys are hot. ^_^
And, I hate judgemental people. Sheesh, I REALLY can't stand people who go, 'Damn, that guy damn fat lar, why you talk to him so much lah?' OR 'she looks like a bimbo. Don't hang out with her so much lah.'
Can't stand it ... Though admittedly, I'm also pretty judgemental. :( But see, when I diss someone, I diss them in a light and funny way. UNLIKE some people who are really so damn judgemental, they make me ponder of what are they saying about me, if I wasn't there?
Yeah. These people are scary. =/ I dont know, I seem to think that people who put other people down a lot are actually the most insecure ones at heart ... Makes sense, no? And one thing I DO know, insecure people are the scariest. (Cause I'm also kinda insecure at heart, mah.) Especially if they seem to ooze confidence and sass on the outside, and you'll have no clue on what's lurking behind the smirks and grins ......
Okay. I'm crapping, again. :(
One thing I've been dying to try... (This is sort of inspired by the Initial D movie, hah.)
You know, at times when a guy or girl fetches you home in his or her car? And obviously, before you get out of their car, you'd have to say 'thanks for the ride!' or something obligatory like that, right?
I'm dying to do this ... especially if I'm only mutual friends with the dude. After I say 'Thanks for the ride!' or whatever, I wanna lean over and kiss the dude on the lips.
Simple, really. If you do that on a girl or a guy, and assuming he or she gets PISSED, you can just go "Oh, I'm just trying to be more westernized. You know, kissing over there is really just a form of courtesy. :) Wanna thank you for the drive mah."
OR, if the guy or girl blushes, seems to freak out, and later tries to dig out more info about that "kiss", you can be pretty sure that that person is DEFINITELY in your league. HAHA!
Either way, its a win-win situation. :D
Sheesh. I definitely WILL try it out after the exams. T.T Might as well take advantage of my singlehood, eh?
Wednesday, November 09, 2005 || Liz and her friends ponder about rape cases ...
- Haha, today was damn funny. Hung out with Pui Yee at her place during the day.
See, a few days ago, I read a pretty interesting article at SapiensBryan.com, about a protection against RAPE device and I told PY about it.
PY: "Sheesh! Put it into cheebye (sorry ar, I'll admit that our language IS, er, inappropriate ..) then can already?"
Me: "Ya. I think there's, like, a sharp thing there, so that when men try to rape you that time, the thing will poke it."
PY: "Wah liao. That's so cool. But I don't need it lar, I don't think I look very rape-able ... "
Me: "Dude, you nearly got molested before, k. Plus you were so much younger back then ... HAHA!"
(She ALMOST got her ass grabbed by a motorcyclist in the Section 17 area a few years back. Interesting or not?)
PY: "Please lar. You'll get raped WAY before me. At least no indian feller followed me HOME before. And then you always wear spaghetti straps and all that ..."
Me: "You bullshitter ... You always sit buses everywhere and all. Anyway, I wear jacket wan kay. And you only don't wear so-called revealing stuffs caused you have uneven tan lines, while I'm tan all over. Hahahaha!"
PY: "Stupid. That's because you're naturally dark mah, I'm fair. Anyway, don't worry, I know why your chances of getting rape is higher."
Me: "Why?"
PY: "Cause you have bigger boobs."
Me: "W. T. F?!?!"
Sheesh, we are damn sickos, I know. Shit, I should be STUDYING for my AssPM instead of hanging out with crazy people. :(
And after that, met up with Jaclyn in Pearl Point, and continued our, err, musings about that subject. (Yeah yeah, we're a bunch of damn horny girls, I know .. -.-)
And we all concluded that, some men rape BECAUSE:
#1 - They're naturally hamsup
This one, nothing ancient to us girls lah. Don't even need to elaborate. Hahaha.
#2 - They're lonely
Yeah, raping some hot chick who just so happens to BE THERE, because of an overextended period of loneliness. Shit, I've been single for so long, and yet I resist all temptations to rape a random hot guy.
*is joking*
#3 - They're dominating assholes.
As we all know, men have HUGE egos. Sheesh. So maybe this is where the theory, "I rape not because I want to, but because I can." comes into mind.
We brainstormed a lot more, but they were all pure crap, as the ones above. HAHA. So no point writing it here lah.
P.S. As you can see, I'm not in a very english mood today, so I've been down that manglish lane a bit. :(
Posing classes by Pui Yee:
Wanna know how to act kawaii and all cutesy?
Watch the pro.
And not only that, PY also generously teaches the newbies (ME! :D) how to look deranged/weird/(insert random negative thing here). :p
Damn, I love my friends.
Sorry for the short update ar, I'm feeling sleepy. Unfortunately, I'm tired due to massive running around in OUG, instead of studying. CRAP!
And yeah, love you all as well. ^^
Tuesday, November 08, 2005 || Men are evil. But women can be jerks too.
- Okay, okay, I know I'm supposed to be studying. I know I'm supposed to be practising some add maths shit or whatever. I know I'm NOT supposed to be blogging, and especially not blogging twice in the same day.
But never mind lah. I'm in the mood.
So just now, I was trying to study my malay literature (Was half absorbed by the cute guy on TV.) and I got a call from LL. 'Weird.', I thought, 'cause she doesn't call me that much. Not since she started hardcore studying for SPM since two months ago, anyway.
And turns out, she was in a frenzy. Apparently, she found out that her boyfriend, T, was cheating on her with a girl she knew (Wah liao, so DRAMA..). O.o I'm actually not that good at consoling broken hearted peeps, so I only exclaimed 'OMG! JERK! What an asshole!!! Sheesh!' over and over again, which probably didn't make her feel any better, LOL.
My theory is right. Men are evil.
Which really reminded me of my form four year, 2004, which was the year that my life was constantly filled with all sorts of drama. One of them being a love-hate triangle featuring one of my best friends at the time, CL, her boyfriend/ex/whatever K.L and I.
See, at that time, CL was dating this guy she met from tuition, K.L, and was head-over-heels in love with him. But little did she know back then that K.L was a HUGE player. =/
So one day, she asked me out to join her, K.L and some of his friends for pool ('cause she doesn't know how to play, per se.) and naturally, I went. I didn't really think much of K.L though I noted him to be rather a cutie. And for moi cutie boys are only nice to see but not nice to hold. (Okay, where the heck did I get that theory from?)
So the whole thing was fun and all, though not really memorable since it was just a pool game between May Lee and me versus the lala canto-speaking guys. And when I came home, I received a SMS from K.L that went, 'I think I like you veli much o. The first time we meet got the feel... Really wan.' (What to do, he IS la la. Lala = Chinese educated group of wannabes who do massively weird things to their hair with unique fashion senses.)
And sensing that I was about to be involved in another huge drama, and I happened to LOVE drama, I SMS-ed C.L, saying 'Girl, break up with K.L. He's hitting on me, he's a player.' And naturally, she was REALLY distressed, and they did break up that night.
(Disclaimer: Okay, so I may come off as pretty bitchy and wild now ... but it is nothing compared to last year. I was a LOT more wild and VERY playful back then. Though not exactly slutty, mind you.)
So the next day, when I saw her and she told me that she had already broken up with K.L, instead of comforting her, I asked, "Great. So can I play with him? That Asshole needs to mess with someone like me."
I know, I know, very insensitive of me. :(
So I 'dated' him for about, err, a month. Shit, couldn't find a way to payback, though ... And to give K.L credit, he did almost catch me off guard by being sickeningly sweet at times. No wonder he scores so many chicks, that guy can talk man. In cantonese, nevertheless, but whatever. My life was SO dramatic back then, and it was a screwed up existence, since the both of us knew we didn't give nuts about each other. After one month, I got severely sick of him, and I told him that I only agreed to 'date' him 'cause I wanted to revenge for C.L. Which sorta caught him off guard, since playboys usually have egos the size of Pamela Anderson's boobs. -.-
And he went on to seduce a chick I introduced to him ONLINE, and that poor chick actually fell for him. Gosh, I felt so bad.
Sheesh, men are evil. :(
But of course, to be fair and not entirely feminist, girls are too.
To be really honest, I DO miss the person I was last year. :( Cause back then ... Everything was about fun, and that's it. I didn't have to care about courtesy, what other guys and girls thought of me and all that jazz. I could do whatever I want, say whatever I wanted to, and flirt whenever I felt like it, as long as my conscience was clear. But of course, I did many things that I somewhat regretted (though nothing extreme lah) and I decided to become a better person this year. LOL.
Yeah, I understand players. It is very nice, isn't it, to just flirt around with anybody and everybody, and to observe how other people seem to fall for your "charms" so easily. It's fun. I think I used to be a LOT more fun to hang out with, since I was totally focused on enjoying myself and cheek with the brains of guys and girls alike ...
But you know, there ARE times when you'll have to choose between doing what's right or going down an easier but self-destructive lane.
Sheesh, now I sound like some kinda "Bring it to Big Bro"-esque columnist.
And oh, Happy Birthday to Suet Li's boyfriend, Barry. And good luck to Suet Li and Jin for their MPH thing at 1U tomorrow. Maybe I'll see ya guys there, if not, May you guys kick the asses of the other contestants. =P
Monday, November 07, 2005 || A weird day, Liz's act of heroism and random crap.
- Post category: Life and nonsensical humour.
YESH, I got over my hungover state.
Today is weird. Very very weird. :/ I couldn't wake up for church (Ooo great, there goes the #32523th sin I commited this week ... 'REPENT, child!', says my inner voice.)
So when I woke up at 3, I decided to head for Pearl Point to do some shopping and drink some milk tea by myself. I wanted to call the gang, but I assumed that they were all in MV or something, as usual. Hmm.
Anyway, when I arrived at the Pearl Milk cafe, I sat down, and the owner of the shop stopped me and went, 'Hey ... Your friend is here. She's sitting at that table. But she went to toilet for half an hour already, her drink is still there though ...' in canto. O_o I was kinda taken aback.
So I went to the table that was so-called occupied by my friend and I saw THIS:
And the first thought that creeped into my mind was, 'THAT STUPID CALLY.'. Yeah, Cally has a weird habit of ordering one cup of chocolate milk tea, and one cup of tap water for her cig buds. -_-
And yesterday being the third time she asked me out and ffk-ed me, I was somewhat incredulous at actually bumping into her today. So I sat there, with my Nasi Lemak and Pearl Milk tea, and after fifteen minutes, Cally sauntered in.
"EH?!?! ELIZA!!! :D So ngam wan?"
So she sat down, puffed at her stupid cig (Girl, you gotta freaking STOP.) and gave me my second shock of the day.
"Eh, I'm not going for SPM lar. I told my mother already."
Me: "WHAT THE FUCK?!? SOHAI!!! Eh CHEEBYE you gonna let me face it alone???" (Sorry for the cussings, people, I was traumatized.)
Her: "You don't sit also lar."
Me: "Don't be STUPID ... -_-"
Her: "Eh, even if you don't study AT ALL, you'll still get at least 3 or 4As, like in your trials. But I'll fail everything. My BM also feh-lou already. What's the point?
Gah. Sigh, now I AM feeling scared. But come to think of it, her absence from SPM wouldn't actually affect me, since we're in different schools anyway. Bah. And yeah, I still am sitting for it. I'm not weak ...... Right?
Yes, Liz, you can do it. You're strong enough. Yeah.
Anyway, we chatted for awhile and was discussing the utter suckiness of Carlsberg when The Bestie Jaclyn dropped by. After a MAYBELLINE MAKEOVER SESSION. By God, I nearly died laughing when I saw her ... Green eyeshadow, eye liner, pink cheeks and all.
HAHAHAHAHA. She won't let me upload her pic here today, so too bad. :(
After that, was *supposed* to return with Cally to her place. Wanted to try to get drunk and high ONE LAST TIME before I start studying for my SPM. (Yeah, I'm planning to start studying some crap tomorrow. And by the way, I don't drink ALL the time, so don't call me a drunken bitch. :( Besides, I don't even get drunk or high easily. Bleh.)
So I called up my dad. Made sure it was okay with him that I returned home at 11 or 12 at night. Settled everything.
AND SUDDENLY, THE GIRL RAN TO THE PUBLIC TOILET, STARTED SHITTING FOR GOD-KNOWS-HOW-LONG, AND ANNOUNCED THAT SHE HAS DIARRHEA AND NEEDS TO SLEEP.
"Eliza, tomorrow only I come find you lah."
Me: "I'm supposed to start studying tomorrow!"
"Monday is the Sabbath day lar. Don't study lar."
Shit. (Not literally, in my case. :p)
BOO! What a WASTE of my extended curfew.
Anyway, wanna know what's the worst thing ever? I came home, realized I forgot to bring my set of keys (or maybe I left it somewhere. Hm.), and my parents weren't home, cause they thought that I'd be back late, so they went grocery shopping at Carrefour.
!@#@$@#@!$@#%#$#%$!@@!.
Yeah. So what to do, I was left stranded in my own boring area. Plus some of the mamaks were closed. Wanted to go to my friend's house in Jln Gasing, but I'm actually quite scared of taking cabs at night. So I was just lurking around in my area, looking for a Ramlee burger stall that's open.
Goodie. Much to my surprise, there really was one stall that was open. Whoopie!
And yes, just to prove that I'm not really a bitch, and beyond my cold demeanour lies a really very good soul, I did a very lovely and honourable thing today.
I saved a kitten.
Okay, okay ... No big deal, right? But geez, as though everybody does that. If not, there wouldn't be starving animals lying around. But this kitten was really poor thing ... It was wet from the rain and all, plus it was all alone. :( So I ran to the nearest Indian shop, begged for an empty box, and bought a packet of Whiskas for the cute lil' feline.
Then, I sneaked it past my guard and brought it home with me.
Photographic evidence of my, erm, heroic display of affection for hungry souls:
Haha! This is the third freaking kitten I rescued this month okay.
Mmm. I'm going to leave it downstairs, beside my neighbour's house later. The old woman there has a soft spot for cats, and she'll take care of it for awhile I guess.
Ever since my parents discovered Ares, my music folder has been filled with a lot of crap. HECK, they even downloaded Limp Bizkit - Rollin'. Ish.
Well, actually, the song itself is pretty good. But it gives me shudders and brings back bad memories. 'Cause it reminded me of my pathetic existence back when I was thirteen and fourteen.
Mmm, I remember the time my school held some kinda carnival when I was in form one. And in that carni, was a disco that was held in my school hall, with a Radio 4 DJ or something.
So back then, I was this shy, pathetic and geeky girl with weird hair (*cues Radiohead-Creep here*) and unlike all my friends who wore Jeans and figure-hugging Ts, I wore my oversized XL sports house T shirt and track bottoms.
So obviously, I was a bit out of place in that particular disco/dance floor. A bit is an understatement. :( Ivy and Cass were having guys hit on them while SF, Chris and the rest were dancing, and they all left me standing in the corner, holding the stuff that they bought.
Yeah, the poor, loser, nerdy girl, standing in the corner with three bags, staring dolefully at the 'cool' crowd. Ditched by her friends, with nobody to talk to.
Rollin' was playing on the speakers. :( I swear, after my SPM, I'm going to crash a club, force the DJ to play this song, and this time, I'M GOING TO DIRTY DANCE ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
But nah, I don't blame them anymore, cause I looked like this:
But of course, somehow, I got through that insecure-pathetic-loser stage. Ergh. But then again, because of those stupidly insecure times, I STILL AM wary of speaking to strangers, and I'm still pretty bad at making conversation with people I'm not familiar with. Bleh.
And last year, my school friends had the nerve to tell me that I was ditching them all the time for boys. Dammit, I wasn't ditching them because of BOYS, I was ditching them cause I was having fun and they were too engrossed in their own lives to care. :/ Sort of funny, how Jaclyn and I hit on a bunch of Sri Hartamas guys in The Chicken Rice Stall last year in megamall (We were dared.), and when one of them gave us his number, Suet Foong nicked it and got the dude to be her boyfriend. Hah.
So, yeah. Life goes on. I think I've already been through the worst of my life. That's why I'm pretty confident that SPM won't kill me, unless I fall sick or something (TOUCH WOOD!!!).
Sheesh, I so hate judgemental people. I hate it when the 'good' crowd in my social network disses my 'bad' crowd. Who the heck are you to judge, anyway? :/ Not like I asked for your opinion ... Hmph!
Yea, I love my friends.
Anywayz, I think BryanBoy has some serious competition.
... Plus they are people I know personally.
*salutes*
Love ya people. Now, I gotta go get the cat to someplace safe.
Sunday, November 06, 2005 || Somewhat hungover.
- Shitcrapfuck HOLY CHEESE, I just typed out an ENTIRE FREAKING ENTRY, and I accidentally DELETED it. Damndamndamndamndamn.
Okay. I'm fine. *breathes deeply*
Anyway, since I was dared. And since I never turn down a good dare, even though I'm not in the craziests state of mind ever.
Woon Kok Loong, of Insulyna (Msia's local band) fame, wants to spread his famous face around the internet. And hopefully score himself some extra fans and chicks. Of course, he ain't in the band yet ... but I heard that soon, he'll be the bassist. Hmm.
REMEMBER THAT FACE
Right. *clears throat*
Right. Anyway. I'm somewhat hungover now. I didn't drink yesterday, (or most of the time, for that matter .. -_-), yet I'm SO STONED. God.
Yesterday was kinda funny ... In my hungover state of mind, I rechecked all my emails and realized that TODAY was my minishorts blogging slot. My sloggy mind registered only one word: Shit. So I went into a frenzy, gasped, nudged every living soul on my contact list and mourned ... And when I got calmer, I tried to come up with a somewhat presentable post at 5am in the morning.
Right. Well, it didn't turn out as bad as I expected, I guess. O.o
Read it here, if you want. Support me ler. T.T Hah! Thick-skinned, I am. :P
Anyway, am writing this post with a similiar, woozy, state of mind like yesterday, so don't expect much from this post. My fridge ran out of coke, so I'm drinking Carlsberg now, and it sucks. :(
Okay, so the Queen of FFK-ers, Cally and God-knows-who-else decided to FFK me today again, cause they all apparently got REALLY hungover, unlike my fake hungoverness. Crappy people, you guys are. :/ So I slept till 4pm in the afternoon, came online at 5, got greeted by KY and we arranged for a yum char session of sorts.
Was pretty interesting albeit the fact that I was in Eliza Lee Woozy mode. Definitely not Eliza Lee Crazy Party Mode. Which probably would've been bad anyway. Can't have be posing like BryanBoy in public again. T.T
Don't worry. Not gonna whore that horrible picture again. Especially since it was already 'featured' in bryanboy.com. -.-
But yeah, I really need to STOP feeling so down and woozy. Like Darien says, I think it's partially caused by all the fuss my fellow SPM candidates are placing in my life. Bleh.
*tries to get drunk, but fails*
First time I EVER entered 1U today, thanks to KY. :D HAH, I really need to start moving around more and stop stalking MV and IOI. Sheesh!
Damn, 1U is darned cool. They have this FOREST thing inside the shopping center itself. Sort of reminds me of The Mines, with its uber cool boat rides and all ...
And I was also very privileged indeed to see the infamous Koi Pond KY built. Mmm.
Soooooo ... Yeah. If you did realize, I think I sound high in this post. Eek.
Thanks a lot to Kok Loong who dared me to 'pimp' him ala Mamasan Lizzy style. Ergh. But you know what, nobody reads this craphole anyway, so it really isn't that much good of a publicity for ya band. LOL.
Arrrr I think I'm high on a caffeine overdose. Later.
As always, love ya all.
Saturday, November 05, 2005 || Lizzy and her buddies discuss their singlehood and Men.
- Listening to: Boney M - Funky Town
Post Category: Humour, photo drama/comic
Liz's second photo drama, inspired by a conversation with her buddies.
Disclaimer: The above conversation DID happen ... I exaggerated a lil' of course. :P
Btw, I think I found my trademark pose. *sniggers*
Lova ya people! Happy Raya and Deepavali! MUAKZ from all of us ...
Friday, November 04, 2005 || Of flashers, stalkers, molesters and other whatnots.
- Listening to: Elvis Presley - Burning love
Post category: Life, personal, musings
Hmm. I've learnt something today. Never bring a camera with you to the pasar malam, for people will think that you're some kind of deluded freak from hell.
Hah, my dad and I had a pretty interesting conversation today.
Dad: "Have you seen a naked man standing by the window in the fifth floor?"
Me: "WTF!!"
Dad: "Mummy and the feller next door saw a flasher there. You better be careful when you go out at night."
Me: "Yeah, I'll make sure to bring a camera with me when I go out at night."
Dad: "Must complain already if people see him again ......"
Me: "No need lar. He want to flash, his business lah."
Dad: #@$@#!$@#@%$#$
..... Err. Oh well, the idea of a flasher living two stories above my house is pretty interesting. O.o Good blogging material too, should I witness it! *evil laugh*
Let me tell ya a pretty interesting experience I had with a stalker/rapist-wannabe/whatever a few months ago.
See, as most of you could already tell by now, I'm the sort of 'wild' type. I'm definitely not your average stay-at-home-and-study type of girl, so I frequently go out at night and stuff. (Not after midnight, mind you!) And there was one time, I was walking in this sort of dark alley that led to my apartment.
And when I was walking ... I realized that there was this dude walking in my direction as well. But since he looked pretty young, 15 or so, I didn't really give a damn. =/ But as he neared me, he broke into a run, and he 'bumped' into me and his hand grazed my leg. I was so shocked, my reflexes didn't kick in in time, and I could only gap at his back as he ran away. :/
Of course, I was pretty traumatized, but I got over it pretty quickly. But that wasn't the worst of it. A few days later was Thursday, which was 'Pasar Malam' day. So I went as usual, at around 8.30 or so ... And when I reached my apartment block, the same goddamn indian boy popped out of below the staircase and tried to reach at me again.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Sounds sort of unbelievable, no? But trust me, I'm not bullshitting. :/ The SCARIEST thing was, the following Thursday, when I returned from my pasar malam visit, the STUPID DOLTISH FUCKTARD HAMSAP DICKHEAD popped out at me again, in my apartment block. But this time, I had an umbrella with me (Hah! I stole Pui Yee's technique!) and I almost smacked the dude with it, while cursing all the way. :/
He ran off, of course. (Kudos to me!!)
Honestly, I think that I've been the worst kind of situation any girl could ever go through (asides from actually getting RAPED itself). That's why I was smirking when I read XiaXue's KL post, and she was fussing about getting molested in KL.
Try having some weirdass young fuck following you HOME and trying to grab you in your own freaking territory.
I was so afraid that he'd gather some friends (after the umbrella incident) and gang rape me or something, I made sure I reached home before seven every single time I went out. :/
But of course, it only traumatized and scared me out of my wits for only, like, a week before I went back to my old ways. -_-
Some people never learn. ;) And I guess, I happen to be one of them.
Had a pretty interesting MSN conversation with a good friend just now. For the sake of protecting her privacy, I shall name her BigAss. Because, well, she does have a pretty big one ala Jennifer Lopez. :P
BigAss: So how's your SPM preparations coming around?
Me: Hah, you know me, the word 'study' isn't in my vocabulary. :P
BigAss: What if you get, like, one A?
Me: It doesn't matter. I don't really care.
BigAss: What if, say, that one A isn't english?
Which made my fingers stop, and I was sort of stunned for a few seconds as I pondered that possibility.
BigAss: Like, you know, I know that you have a A1-for-English record, and you've never gotten anything below 80 before ...
Me: 82, mind you. Hehehehe.
BigAss: Yaya, so what will you do if SPM happens to be your first A2, or worse, B or lower?
Me: I'd commit suicide. I'd resit the exam. I don't care.
BigAss: See... you do care.
=/ She got me. She really, really did. Thank you for that moment of enlightenment, bigass. =P
And the convo continued ...
BigAss: To tell you the truth, everybody thinks that you're somewhat playgirl-ish ler.
Me: Yeah? Why??
BigAss: Even my sis says so. Dunno lah. You just look like that type.
Me: I'm misunderstood, as usual. *swt*
BigAss: Why don't you ah? =/ Even Suet Foong and all have already ...
Me: I'll never be able to get the guy I want. I want
BigAss: Yup, I noticed that. The more I know you right, I find out that you're really independant. I dunno, maybe too independant in your own way.
Mmm, that was enlightening. That wasn't the first time somebody told me that I'm independant. :/ Like a few weeks ago, my cousin sisters were urging me to 'show my older sister that I care' by emailing her more, since she's supposedly depressed ... I remember asking, "Why does she even need me to tell her that I care? I mean, we barely even see each other ler ..."
And my cousin answered, "Your sister isn't like you, you're independant. You can survive, even if you were alone ... But she's alone in HK, with only Martin by her side, and she NEEDS to know that she's loved."
Which led me to think ... Am I really that independant, as all the people in my life seem to think? :/
But one thing I know for sure ... I am not made of steel. I can fall.
Reading Suet Li's post about leadership made me think. Am I a born leader, or am I a born follower?
Frankly, I think that I'm neither. If you knew me personally, you'd know that I'm the somewhat rebellious type that'd never submit to authority, unless I agree with it. But on the other hand, I can't be bothered if nobody listens to me, or follows my orders, as well. Which is why I can handle certain forms of criticisms pretty well. Like the time Minishorts warned me for going down that 'Eliar' lane, and the numerous anti-camwhores posts that are going around the blogosphere (well, I'm a camwhore, and I dare admit that.) ... I'm not even slightly pissed at all. o_O
That's why I get the impression that my school prefects used to sort of hate me, though I was pretty good friends with a number of them. I was caught countless times, red-handed, chewing gum in class and other whatnots. But hey, I happen to think that chewing gum in class is GOOD for me, 'cause with all the boring lessons, I'd fall asleep otherwise. And if a measley piece of gum can keep me awake, hell, I'd chew it. =/
That's why, at times, I LOVE being a girl. We're always underestimated. Let's face it, everybody is judgemental ... And if you placed me beside some bespectacled geek, you'd naturally assume that I'm way less intelligent. I used to hate being misunderstood ... But nowadays, I'm so used to it. I'm enjoying it, even.
One thing I've learnt in life --- Never Assume. Because if you do, you're just making an Ass out of U and me. Err, I got that phrase from a Sidney Sheldon book. Hehe.
Anyway, I'm starting to love blogging. Because I can do whatever I want, whenever I feel like it. I can write whatever way I want and I can post up whatever shitty pictures of myself, should I feel like it.
I don't even have to be honest. My parents yell at me all the time because they think that I'm not being honest with them when I insist that I'm not that bad of a person. Here, I can post up porno, if I felt like it, and I wouldn't give a damn what people have to say about me, because I'm not very emotionally attached to my blog. Yet. Hey, I could even post up stories about my 'sex life' ala Tucker Max style. Yeah, they'd all be lies ... But what I love about blogging, is that I'm in no way obligated to do it in a certain way.
I'm quite happy with myself. I didn't check my traffic for the past three days, and I don't seem to care that its dwindling. It shows, that I'm doing this purely for self-amusement ... And that's that.
Now please excuse me, I have to go out and try to take pictures of the flasher that's living just two stories above me.
Thursday, November 03, 2005 || Liz and other blogger's guide to BUAYAING men.
- Hahaha, today was funny.
See, the Pearl Milk Cafe I always frequent is owned by this Aunty, who has a somewhat young son who works there most of the time. Today, as I was dared by my friends, I went up to the dude and said Hi. O.o
I was half expecting him to either massively freak out, or just reply with a polite answer. But funnily enough, the dude actually came and sat with us, for a so-called yumchar session of sorts. O___o
In less than an hour, my friends and I found out his name, his telephone number, how much did it cost to open a Pearl Milk shop, the monthly rent and etcetc ... LOL. I swear, my 'buaya'-ing skills have gone up a notch.
*SALUTES SELF* Bwahaha. Okay, I know its not a big deal, but still ... Allow me a few moments to gloat. For no apparent reason or whatsoever. :P
Anyway, after I came home, chatted with a couple of people, and we were talking about pick-uplines and various 'buaya'ing techniques. And the incredible me, decided to just blog about it. ^^
Liz's 'hamsup' Guide to Hitting on Men (With help from her buddies)
First up, we have ...
Liz of http://suemefordreaming.blogspot.com (HAHA, obviously I'd come first, right?)
Favourite pick-up line: "Hi." (Apparently, that's the only one I'm good at ... HAH! Pure and simple, no?)
Favourite 'buaya'ing technique: Capturing the guy's attention with really outrageous poses.
Example:
DUDES ... THAT PICTURE CAUGHT BRYANBOY'S ATTENTION, ALRIGHT? Don't kid me, if a girl came up to you and posed like that ... Face it, you'd notice her for sure. ;)
Success Rate: Probably close to nil, seeing as how my marital status has been 'single' for such a long time. Practice at own risk. Not suitable for the audiences at home...
Next up, we have Eu Jin, of http://quicksilverlining.blogspot.com.
Favourite Pick-up Line (used by girls on him): *Liz doesn't remember, and Jin's offline. Will update later, if necessary.*
Favourite 'buaya'ing technique (by girls on him, of course): Having a girl walk up to him, and give him a nice long smooch on the lips.
Liz thinks: What if I happen to be a majorly bad kisser? Hmph!
Success Rate: Use at own risk. The possibility of 'violent' responses are rare, but it's still highly probable. Not suitable for chicks with bad breathe.
Next up, presenting the really very horny Jaclyn, of http://unfucktheworld.blogspot.com.
Favourite Pick-up Line: "Your parents are thieves........ Because they stole the stars and put them in your eyes."
(Liz says: SHE GOT THAT OFF FHM!!!!!!)
Favourite Buaya-ing Technique: Singing incredibly romantic songs such as Enrique Iglesias's Hero and Shakin' Steven's Because I Love you to capture the heart and attention of the desired male.
Success Rate: Probably really high. 'Cause having a girl actually sing to you must be pretty attention-grasping. Not suitable for girls who sound like toads. *Ah hem*
Next up, we have the very flirtatious and 'experienced' Cally, who unfortunately does not have a blog.
Favourite Pick-Up Line: "Can I have your phone number?" (Straight to the point! I like!)
Favourite 'Buaya'ing technique: Pwning the asses of guys who play o2Jam with her, and once they're owned, sympathize with them, ask for their numbers, and eventually ask them out on a date.
Success Rate: She has proven that it does work, so err, probably really high? Not suitable for those who don't play o2jam. Or, if they play it, and happen to suck at it.
Next up, we have the very philosophical Darien, of http://www.xanga.com/ashtaway.
Favourite Pick-up line (By girls, of course.): "Hi there ... I lost my teddy bear, Can you sleep with me tonight?" (KINKY!!!!)
Favourite 'buaya'ing technique: Having a girl walk up to the guy, lean on him gently, look up at him with kawaii puppy-dog eyes and whisper something kawaii into his ear.
Success Rate: I sort of think that the pick-up line WILL work. Only for girls who have BALLS. And, not suitable for fidgety girls. Having bad breathe would probably have a negative impact on it too.
Next up ... We have the Queen of Blogging, Miss Wendy Cheng a.k.a XiaXue, of http://xiaxue.blogspot.com
Favourite Pick-Up Line: *Will wait for her response via Email. Patience!*
Favourite 'Buaya'ing technique: From this post of hers, she said, 'Nice men don't realise this, or refuse to acknowledge it, but it is the bad guys who get laid all the time. The bad guys receive more TLC, the bad guys get blowjobs where the girls even swallow.'
(Note: Okay, she was referring to guys, but I shall assume that it is applicable for girls too. Mwahaha.
Success Rate: FAILURE! If being bad = scoring more dicks. Then WHY THE *BLEEP* DON'T I GET LAID? I'm bad okay! I like good guys (Hah!) cause opposites attract. It is therefore proven that this theory is wrong. :(
*I'm seriously joking*
Add to the list, ya'll!!!
Disclaimer: The blogger(s) involved in this are not resposible for any potential, er, damage caused, should anybody decide to heed our very wise words.
- Hah, even my FRIENDS are talking about the whole XX and the disabled toilet issue lately. Sort of amusing, cause I never realized that they read blogs. Once again, I've underestimated the influence of the blogosphere, I guess. O.o
What was funny, however, was this conversation with my friend today ...
Friend: Serious ar, those people so free to fight over toilets?
Me: Um. Not really lah, I guess its just the whole disabled toilet thing.
At this point, I was expect my friend to snigger or make some kinda snide remark, but she merely widened her eyes and went, 'Serious shit? Hmmm .. Remember when I told you that I bumped into Amber Chia in the MV Jusco toilets?'
Me: Yeah?
Friend: WELL ... she was using the disabled toilets...... HAHAHA!
And I dunno why, at that moment, it was really funny ... Hahaha. Maybe Amber Chia and XX are friends or something. =P
My parents have recently decided to
I mean, I appreciate their desires to learn how to, uh, download and burn music, but one thing I'm not --- I'm not patient. :( I mean, they deleted my whole The Beatles collection, GAH!!!
And when I asked them WHY on earth did they do that, they went, 'Oh, we thought you downloaded it for us, so after we already burned it, delete lor ... '
!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gah! Now I'll have to REdownload 'em all over again.
No idea why I love them. I used to think that they sounded really stupid, since they named their band after an insect and all, but really some of their songs are good stuff. Think Let it be.
Honestly, I think they're pretty cute. (Yea yea, I know that they're old and half of them are already dead) But if you can pull off that Rock Lee-Naruto style hair-do, you can pull off anything. =P
Um, no funny stunts in this post. In fact, it's going to be pretty serious (Since when could I EVER be serious?!). I don't know, since I've been reading my old diaries, I've realized that I'm growing old. :( Yup, I'm still only seventeen and I LOVE BEING YOUNG, but I've realized that I've gone a pretty long way. I think that over the years, I've been constantly changing ... And how?
I'm going to try to find out.
I shall post excerpts from my diary, and nope, not going to edit them even if the language sucks or whatever ... and RE-EVALUATE them again, as the person that I am today. I don't know, this feels like a pretty good timing to rediscover myself.
Year 2000 - Age: 12
10th of Novemer - 'Today is the last day of primary school. Unexpectedly, I felt a little sad. I just feel a little nervous and worried about Catholic High School. So much new things to learn. I'm kinda afraid. I think I'll miss Christine. (No, not the penyapu idol Christine ... My primary school best friend, Christine. O.o)I hate school, so happy its over. Maybe Catholic will be different...'
Mmm. Naive. I was naive. Reading that from my purple Hello Kitty diary ... I actually got quite scared. I mean, you know how they say, If you're a victim of Child Abuse, its most likely that you'll abuse your kids? Yup, life is a cycle... And seeing as how I hated my primary school, it probably led to my insane detest of my secondary school as well.
Which makes me think ... Will I hate college as well? :( I HOPE that I won't ... But I sort of think that I will. Hmph.
But. I left Catholic High. I guess I didn't know that when I was writing this ... But no regrets leaving CHS, in fact, staying there would have been DISASTROUS for me. I'm totally against most forms of Authority, and Catholic was strict as hell. And if I got into a verbal fight with the Catholic guard the same way I had a fight with the Assunta guard this year ... Wah, I think I'd be expelled already. O_o
Year 2001 - Age 13
September 11th (YES, THAT MEMORABLE DAY ... ) - 'World War!!! I'm now really REALLY scared!! I really don't want anybody to die! Mummy, daddy, sis ... Everybody in the world. And even myself. I'm only 13, I really don't want to die! Not yet, anyway ... God, HELP US! Amen.'
OKAY, so I REALLY FOUND THIS FUNNY. Obviously I was slightly delusional. O.o Obviously, I used to be more religious. And err, I think I used to be a better person? (Hey, give me credit for praying for you guys ler. :P Sheesh!)
Err. Nothing much I recall about 2001. A lot of back-stabbing and friend-snatching. Plus a few of my friends had somewhat lesbian tendencies, which majorly freaked me out. I remember sort of hating The Moffatt's makeover and their new songs ... But weirdly enough, I actually kinda like 'Bang Bang Boom' now. Yup, Changed, I have. :D
And just for the sake of making you guys puke.
*SIGH* Sadness fills my heart.
2002, pretty boring year. I couldn't find any interesting entries, which explains why I can't seem to remember much of the things that happened. Was still naive, innocent and delusional as ever.
Year 2003 - Age: 15
Mmm... it being my PMR year, I was pretty surprised that I didn't mention it much at all. Then I remembered. It was a turning point for me --- I started mixing around more, started going out and getting more rebellious, started questioning the authorities and boundaries in my life ... In short, I started having fun. :/ But, much to my surprise and utter shock, I managed to score a whooping straight As, while my two good friends studied like HELL and got only 6. Yes, the world is unfair. =/
29th August - 'Look, I'm a hypocrite. Does it bother you that I am? That cold reality just struck me. Hard. I woke up feeling happy, and suddenly, dark clouds and rain replaces the sunny afternoon, with the raindrops splashing on me, reminding me that nothing is what it seems. My so-called best friends? They won't be there for me, should I fall. Ever since I was born, I believe, I felt inferior. Now all this inferiority is boiling within me, waiting to erupt ... I don't want to know what will happen.'
This entry, I felt like I had to put it up, after shortening it. Mmm ... A bit morbid and dark, right? I guess I was just drifting ... But sad to say, that lost girl still lurks somewhere in me. Just that I'm stronger now, and I wouldn't let anybody give me shit anymore.
Definitely something to ponder about.
No point writing about 2004, cause I was almost the same as the 'current' me.
The Conclusion: The girl I used to be ... was naive and innocent. Terribly insecure and somewhat sweet (Well, at least I think so lah!). I've been a good girl, studying everyday and eagerly complying to all the school rules, mixing with only the 'good' kids.
But somewhere along the way ... my lifestyle changed. I guess I was bored, and I started seeking for more in life. So what if I got straight As for all my exams? The As couldn't be eaten. (Okay, lame pun. :P) And, well, I discovered my love for taking risks, cause I seem to REALLY like the 'high' and anticipation that comes along with it. I've realized that I did have true friends, cause they didn't exactly throw me aside when I went through some pretty horrible stuff last year.
I learned that I could be manipulative whenever I really wanted something. O.o All of a sudden, I grew more and more egoistic and narcissistic ... Just that in real life, I manage to channel that into humour, so people are not annoyed by it. =P I don't give two cents about people critisizing me appearance-wise, cause I actually sort of worship myself though I know that there's nothing about me that's outstanding, but I can't seem to handle criticism of my abilities and personality. :(
I remember one fateful time at school, a pretty good friend indirectly insulted my parents for 'allowing me to stray' and 'causing my downfall in my studies' (Hey, that was one of the few times when somebody pissed me off so bad, I felt like demonstrating my fists of fury ... Insulting me is one thing, but I can't tolerate bad-mouthings of the people I love. =/). I resisted the urge to throw my water bottle at her, and I only smirked and lashed out a couple of sentences back at her. Which caused her to fume and tell our whole group of friends that I was a bitch ... -_- But, that was the desired effect. :P
It just shows that I pissed her off more than she did me. Hohoho.
Sort of irrelevent, huh.
That's why I seem to find myself drawn to people that are non-mainstream. Hey, I have friends who smoke ... and I do know a few of them who have done drugs before, but it doesn't mean that I have to be like them to be friends with them. These friends are the ones that I can count on, should I get myself dragged into any forms of weird shit.
Anyway, I do know that this post is boring and stupid. But, it IS something that I'd want to read, say, ten years down the lane. So it's necessary. Hehe!
On a lighter note, however, the best friend Jaclyn forbad me to 'whore' my blog. And when I asked her Why, she went, 'You Ass, if your stupid blog gets famous like kinkybluefairy or whomever, later people see us asks us to take picture how?'
To which I replied ... 'Take lor. What's the problem?'
Jaclyn: "I should've been like Christine, PY and the rest, who insisted that they didn't want to be mentioned on your blog ... I'm so stupid. I tell you ar, I'm going to fuck you if my friends saw that stupid bryanboy pic, or if people ask us to pose like the praying mantis or whatever shit."
HAHAHA ... I like this picture. I should make it my trademark pose or something. =P What say you?
And just for the heck of displaying some extra
Wah. Sometimes I even surprise myself. -_-
Tuesday, November 01, 2005 || Liz loves Bryanboy, CJ, and EVERYBODY!
- I'm in the mood for some LOVIN', ya'll.
Today, very very good day. Of course, I nearly died of a heart attack. I shall explain why soon enough.
Since I'm in a loving mood ... I shall dedicate this post to EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY I love.
Liz really loves: CJ.
Aww, CJ made a new banner for me!
Okay, was it supposed to look scary ah, CJ? Cause I think I look like Pontianak in it ... hehe! But anyway, I still love it, its cool. Lovely lovely photoshop skills you got there, mate. :D
By the way, he was the one who came up with it. The colour scheme, design, and even the 'The Narcissism of Eliza Lee' phrase. O___o Um ... I guess I'm really that narcissistic huh? T.T
NO MATTER. Still love ya, dude!
Moving on ... I had a major heart attack when I saw this. I nearly screamed and fell off my chair.
But. I'm calm now.
Liz makes a 'guest' appearance at BryanBoy.com. Here.
Holy ... Now that awful face, that bad picture, is being viewed by, what, 10k people?
I LOVE YOU BRYAN BOY. AND YES, WE MALAYSIAN 'SCHOOLKIDS' DO LOVE YA A LOT! *LOL*
Erm. Oh well. ^^
I also love my beautiful family, for they are the ones who
YES! LAUGH AWAY.
MY. FACE. AND. HAIR. *points and screams*
Okay, no crude jokes about my past ugliness kay? :( I hate weeping.
I LOVE PIGS.
Yesh, I've always been fascinated with them ... 'Cause they're really fat, chubby and pink, YET THEY STILL LOOK CUTE. Well, asides from those overfed obese ones at pig farms.
YUP, it's no wonder why I'm as chubby as them. Plus, I'm not as cute as them, either. :( HOW SAD.
Never mind.
I LOVE WESTLIFE.
YES, I KNOW THAT MARK FEEHILY IS GAY. Don't throw that at me anymore. :(
I spent days getting over the fact that my first and only celeb crush ever is gay.
I blame it on my weird taste in men. Either that, or my weird sex drive and fetishes.
Something to ponder about, definitely. Bwahaha.
I LOVE SapiensBryan. (http://sapiensbryan.com)
Why? Cause he's
Don't you just love guys with
Haha!
OMG, I realized that I just mentioned two Bryan(s) in one post. HMM..
Anyway, I think that this is pretty funny, so I'm going to talk about it. See, the ugly and stupid pics of my best friend and I from the last post, I posted up without asking for her permission, merely counting on our strong friendship bond to stop her from punching me should she see it.
And today, Jaclyn left a comment on my last post, going:
'Mother fucker chee bai!.. wtf wei.. i told you not to post any fucking pictures we took on your fucking blog and all I see is my fucking picture.. hahahaha thanks alot for all that publicity and if ever my Timon see this, I shall just fucking screw you.. thank you very much ar.. wei chee bai, I slept for like 16 hours today muahahaha I came back from church after the funeral at 8 den I ate my dinner and I pass out at 8.30.. OMFG, I think I put ob 10 fucking kg.. fuck wei!!! Love me chee bai o_0'
Which sort of cracked me up ... and when I told her about our 'special' appearance on our beloved BryanBoy.Com, she screamed and went: 'I WILL NEVER TRUST FUCKERS ANYMORE!!!'
LOL. But nah, its okay, she's just overreacting.
But the thing is, I was trying to share our funny stunts with the world mah. You know, spreading the love and joy. Haha!
I know I look like a pervert. Bite me.
I DON'T love Swifty.
*wails in absolute terror and grabs tissue to avoid boogey coming out of my nose*
Errrrr ... Right. O.o ISH!
I LOVE EVERYBODY who bothers to comment on my stupid, crappy blog, and I love all the people who bothered adding me in MSN and whatnots. (Though it ain't a lot ... But whatever I can get, I appreciate, right? ^_^)
I LOVE YOU PEOPLE FOR MAKING ME FEEL LOVED! *Muacks*
As you could probably tell by now, I'm in a REALLY good mood today. Like, super good mood. Which is kind of weird, since my AssPM is in, erm, two weeks? (Now, I'm going to massively STRANGLE myself for reminding myself of that horrible thought ... -_- )
But whatever. Still love ya guys. Haha.
Yes, I'm so loving indeed. Another wonderful trait that goes along with my irresistable personality. HEHE.
MUAKZ!
