Wednesday, November 30, 2005 || I'm happy!!!!! And I wanna go to US!!!
- Listening to: Bic Runga - Sway
Mood: SUPERFRAGELISTICEESPEEAIDOCIOUS-LY HAPPY
Oh, I'm happy!!!
Like really, really REALLY happy!
Biology was HARD. All you studious people have ME to thank. Why? ...
... Because stupid people like me'd definitely pull down the graph. Thus, your As will be a lot easier to obtain. =)
By the way, who the heck is Daphne Teo, and why is everybody on Technorati searching for her all of a sudden?
But putting that aside ... I am EXTREMELY RELIEVED that it's over. VERY VERY relieved. It felt as though I was wearing a freaking metal armour for the past three weeks or so, I was so tense and UNlike my usual happy-go-lucky self. =(
But in continuation from my previous post ... What now?
Well, I guess my MAIN priority, for the moment at least, is to have as much fun as I can. (But considering how I seem to have fun all the time, I actually doubt that life after SPM would be any different from life before it.)
I'm actually DYING to go to US for a holiday. Because my 'sesated', countrylesss cousin brother is there, and I've always been DYING to experience the culture and visit all the cool places there! Like Texas (I LOVE COWBOYS, baby!) and L.A!
My cousin is staying in San Francisco, which I'd KILL to visit as well. Even though, apparently, it is like THE gay territory. Plus, its The Land of The Free, dammit!
So I casually tried to bribe a.k.a beg a.k.a pressure my dad into letting me board that damn plane. And allow me to apply for a visitor's visa. And hopefully give me the cash I'd need to go there.
I tried everything, really. For once, my wit is at loss.
"US is, like, the place for me to learn new stuff! Tons of fabulous museums there!! Like the San Francisco Art Museum!" (I dunno if got such museum or not, I simply crap wan.)
"Daddy ... You know how they say you should grab ALL OPPORTUNITIES when you're still young?"
"I love US. It is such an inspiration to me. I mean, George W. Bush has got to be THE most fantastic president EVER!" (Dad: What the heck does that have to do with you wanting to go there?!)
"I NEED TO PRACTISE MY SOCIAL SKILLS!!! I don't have any friends here in Malaysia. I'm so lonely. I'm so sad here. And you know, I heard the people in US very friendly one. Somemore, cousin Dan has many, err, friends!"
Despite my best efforts, my father still said ... NO.
#%$#%$#%$%$^$%#$#$@##@!#@$
But never mind. So a few days after he nicely rejected my desperate pleas, I received a phone call from THE cousin Dan. Who sounded very very happy and gay (No pun intended) to talk to me.
"Why are you calling? You hardly call!!" I happily went.
"Oh ... I just wanted to call to tell your dad about your VISA." lovely Cousin Dan went.
At this point, my heart went BANG BANG BOOM, obviously.
Me: "WHAT?!?!??!?!?!?! Oh my gosh!! What the! That is SO NICE OF YOU!!!!!!"
I swear, I sounded like a puppy who was just given a damn bone.
And cousin Daniel uttered these words that shattered my already frail and fragile heart.
"Why do you sound so happy about YOUR DAD coming to US for a visit? Not going to miss him, dear? Oh by the way, tell him that he can apply for his visitor's VISA at the US's embassy website bla bla ... "
MAHAI!!!!!!!!!!
OH God, what have I done to deserve this?!?!?!?! I know I've sinned a lot ... A LOT ... But still! This is too much.
Blargh.
So the father's going to US (most probably) during December or January. HE GETS TO SET FOOT INTO THE LAND OF THE FREE, THE PLACE WHERE NIGGAS RAP IN BACK ALLEYS, VISIT ART MUSEUMS, CHAT WITH PEOPLE WITH COOL-ASS ACCENTS AND FLIRT WITH CUTE WHITE DUDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, except the last one lah. Hahaha. Damn unfair wei.
*wipes tear*
I am going on a mission to start MASSIVELY KISSING my dearest cousin's ass. (Not literally lah, don't be dirty minded) Maybe I can bribe him with some BryanBoy handbags, or something. Whee!
But nvm. There's still the US exchange program that Joshua was telling us about. Maybe I can go for that.
And thinking on the bright side ... If I go for Joshua's exchange trip, I can go with maybe one or two of my friends! Which is a lot more appealing than exploring America alone.
And maybe if that happens, the two (or three) of us can hit on hot, white guys together. Thus, more eye candy, right?!?! (... Though the thought of the TWO of us getting raped together is a bit morbid, though slightly kinky.)
Ohh, I just heard from my youth leader that our church's newsletter is out already! AND, she told me that when my youth pastor submitted the newsletter to the US church for approval and stuff, the pastor who approved the newsletter commented to my youth pastor that the youth section of the newsletter is very 'very well written, even better than what qualified pastors come up with'. Which, the youth section is done by ... ME!!!!!!!
Erm, I'm not bragging. I'm just very VERY flattered, because I'm not even a religious person. And my articles, I didn't think they were good. I really really REALLLLLLLYYYY am very very happy today, despite the "bad news" about US.
And to think, a few days ago, I was discussing with my mum about my plans. I ALMOST gave up journalism, because well, I'm willing to admit that I'm not much good in writing. Plus, journalism isn't really a fantastic way to get rich. But I guess God sort of answered my prayers. (Wah cheh, religious sial budak ni ...)
SO I AM GOING FOR IT!!! NO MORE DOUBTS ABOUT GETTING A SMALLASS PAYCHECK AND BEING JOBLESS WHEN I GRADUATE!!! I CAN DO IT!!!
Aja-Aja fighting!!! ^___^
Oh, my God, I sound so lame, I'm even using korean phrases now. ^^Y
- Post edited! Cause I'm too lazy to create a new one!
Okay, so I am extremely traumatized, scared and pissed off right now. I've just realized that I lost my form four biology book ... And you all know what that means. Hmphh, I am SO DEAD!
And when I'm stressed ... I write. Music is my therapy, and writing is my remedy.
Literally. Though sad to say, I'm not very good at both. :(
*cracks knuckles* Time to de-stress!
I doubt that this'll be any good, since its written under a LOT of stress and trauma. T.T
'Tick-tock, tick-tock, time is fleeting, beat the clock ...'
Samantha woke up with a gasp. Cracked, gray ceilings greeted her eyes as her mind drifted to The Dream again. She felt cold sweat trickling down her back and she held her blanket close to her naked body, trying to bask in the temporary warmth the piece of fabric provided.
'Why do I feel so sore all over?' Samantha wondered, rubbing her eyes as she slowly moved away from her bed. It was cold, and it was dark. She reached for the light switch, and turned it on, but only a dim, flickering light was produced. She shrugged, and turned around --- only to gaze at her reflection in her mirror, which made her gasp.
A petite girl with long, wavy hair and huge, doe-like eyes gazed back at her. There were bruises on her neck. Bruises, which were not self-inflicted, yet she had no recollection of how they'd gotten there.
Another mystery.
Another unanswered question.
And the dreams ... So real, so tangible. Yet, they were only dreams. The very same dream that replayed itself in the depths of her mind over and over again ......
'Tick-tock, Tick-tock ... Time is fleeting, beat the clock.'
***
"Are you enjoying your meal, child?" Samantha's grandmother asked her, gazing at her over horn-rimmed glasses while sipping her english tea. Samantha tentatively chewed at her garlic bread and smiled brightly at her grandmother.
"Yes, grandma. You know how much I love your garlic bread." she chirped, feeling young and happy, as though she was 11 again.
"You really ought to bring your friend, Celeste, back for tea more often. Such a darling, that girl is. Mightily talented young one too. Why, if there'd be anyone I'd admit to be better at singing that our Samantha, it'd be her!" her grandmother mused, beaming at Samantha while she poured another cup of tea for herself.
'No ... NO!' Samantha's mind screamed out in agony.
And The Dream faded, and was replaced.
"Celeste, why am I always in your shadow?" Samantha softly mumbled while twirling her hair. She was sitting on a swing, in a deserted park, watching the pigeons feed themselves with the bread crumbs she scattered on the grass.
"What do you mean, Sam?" Celeste asked, widening her beautiful hazel eyes at her best friend.
"You're better than me in everything we do. Singing, painting, dancing ...... I try as hard as I can, but I never seem to be as good as you!" Samantha answered, as a single tear emitted from her eyes.
"You're my best friend, and I love you Sam. It's not important who's better."
"Friends till the end?"
"Pinky swear!"
The laughter, the park, and everything else began to fade ......
***
She found herself in a dark forest, running along a pathway that seemed to be endless. Tree branches scratched at her face, while her bare feet were cut by splinters and stones.
She stopped. And the owls hooted.
"Where am I?" Samantha asked aloud, her heart pounding in fear and trepidation, as she gazed at the shadows that surrounded her. Unidentifiable silhouettes blurred her vision while cacophonous sounds heightened themselves in her ears.
"Who are you, and why are you doing this to me?!?!?!" She screamed out.
She fell to her knees, feeling weak. "My grandmother is dead ....... And so is Celeste! Why are you doing this to me!" she yelled as she punched her fist to the ground.
She let out an ear-deafening scream.
The owls hooted and the shadowy figures swayed.
And suddenly.
Silence.
***
Samantha snapped out of her reverie. She gazed at the mirror again, and this time, she could clearly see that her eyes were bloodshot. She fell to her knees and weeped. Gut-wrenching sobs that made her shoulders tremble as she howled.
Suddenly, she felt strong arms around her. Familiar arms.
"Sam ... are you okay? Don't worry, baby, I'm here. Hush now ..." David cooed, while he rocked her in his arms. Darling, dearest David, who was always there for her. David, Celeste's cousin, whom she met in choir.
David, the only man who understood her. And the only man she ever loved.
She shakily smiled up at his handsome, chiseled face . "I didn't kill her, Dave ..." she whispered. "I didn't ..."
"Hush, baby, its not your fault." David whispered into her ears. Words of comfort she needed to hear. Samantha closed her eyes and cuddled against David. Images of the accident, Celeste's screams, and blood still replayed themselves in her mind, but she shut them out.
David knew that she didn't kill Celeste on purpose, and it was all that mattered.
"Hush, now, don't you cry ... There will be a better day, I promise you ..." David softly sang as he hugged her. She always loved his voice. Soronous, eloquent and altogether lovely.
It was his voice that made Celeste and Samantha fall in love with him. It was his voice that made them fight.
Samantha snuggled against David, feeling at peace now that it was all over...
'... Tick-tock, tick-tock, time has run out, you can't beat the clock ... ' David softly sang. Samantha snapped her eyes open and gaped at David. There was a strange glint in his eyes ... the same glint that was in Celeste's eyes the night Celeste wanted to kill her.
She screamed.
---------
I have no idea where I got the 'inspiration' for this. And yes, it doesn't seem to make much sense, cause I wanted it to be ambiguous ... somewhat. So its up to you to decide its message. =D
Happy birthday, Daddy! And also, happy 18th birthday to Darien!
Edited: W00T my much-dreaded BIO is over!!!
Erm, well, I did not study form four AT ALL (hence the lack of ANY revision books) and I barely touched form five, so yeah, the paper was possibly the worst bio paper I ever sat for in my life. And considering how I usually fail bio, despite my 'best' efforts, this SO DOES NOT LOOK GOOD ... =(((
But! It's over!! Wheee! *dances around* On Friday, there'll only be EST, and that doesn't require any revision!
And now the question is this ......
What's next? O_o
Tuesday, November 29, 2005 || Of SPM blues, funny 'fan' pictures, my 'desperate addict', and my horrifyingly scary face.
- Some dude on MSN: Not studying ar, Liz?
Me: Nope.
Some dude: SPM over alredi?
Me: Nope. Still got two more subjects ...
Some dude: If you dont study now, next time have to work very hard wan wor...
Me: Well, I'll work hard then ...
Some dude: Seriously damn hard, you know?
Me: ... Yup. =) As long as I dont have to study stupid subjects that I was FORCED to study in the first place, I'm prepared to do anything. (Don't ask me about this, its one area in which I'm totally GUNG HO about, and I'm pretty sure that nobody wants to listen to grandmother stories =( )
Some dude: Aikz ... I guess you're planning to find a rich lou gong chai den. (KILL me for saying this, but I seriously can't stand La La english ... T.T )
Me: ... No way. =/ Don't be so fickle-minded and judgemental lah, don't naturally assume that I'm lazy just because I don't study the way you do.
Yeah, pretty rude of me right? =.= But honestly, there's nothing I hate more than people jumping to conclusions about me merely by what I say or how I act alone. Geez, you know, the world is special cause variety exists. I'm here to maintain that balance ... There are kids who study, there are kids who don't. There are kids who do drugs, there are kids who don't.
And in both cases, I'm the latter. =P
I've met many different and interesting people from many walks of life. And, well, I know what kind of a life I want to lead. :D I have this friend, her sister is this REALLY good kid. 10As for SPM, straight As for STPM and such. And after she graduated from college with honours ...
....... She became a cocktail brewer in Zouk. =/
And her side of the story was this: For all twenty plus years of my life, I never lived the life I wanted. I studied because I had to, nobody gave me any other choice. And now that I'm old enough to stand up for myself and make my own decisions ... I'm living my own life. I love to drink. And I love brewing drinks. And that's that. I know that people are talking about me, but I don't care, because for once in my life ... I'm enjoying myself.
Which was and still is an eye-raiser for me. I mean, I shouldn't be one to judge, but the first thing that came into my mind was, 'Man, this chick totally wasted ALL THOSE YEARS of hardcore studying ...'
Eek. Seriously wasted. For me, I'm not planning to waste any time. I'm enjoying myself and living the life that I want, everyday. Now, even. And whatever consequences are in store for me ... I'm actually looking forward to them! :D
Lovely lovely SPMers, only two or three more days left of horror. Chill out and good luck, aite? =) No point crying over spilled milk, so lets just inhale deeply and CHILL. =D
Serious stuff aside, now's time for some light-hearted moments. Which, was supposed to be the main flow of my blog, until I got carried away way too often. -_-
... Supposedly inspired by my so-called trademark pose, from Kok Loong. Who, apparently, is going to be the future member of Insulyna.
Actually, I always thought I looked like Pontianak, or Ju-On in my so-called 'trademark' pose. And suddenly, I'm a ninja, LOL.
Yup, where're your fingers ah, Woon? Wahaha.
So I came home, after pigging out at McD, and I came online to hear from Asyraf that I have a 'Desperate Addict'. Automatically, I headed for his site, and much to my horror/amazement/amusement, I saw these pics from this post.
Errrrrr ....... Not exactly my best picture, I know. In fact, probably one of my worsts.
Seriously, am I scary??? =( NO RIGHT?!?
AGREE WITH ME, or embrace my wrath!
And after chatting with Asyraf on MSN a bit, he went, 'Eh Liz, you should take a picture of yourself holding a kitchen knife, you know. While hugging that teddy bear of yours. So sadistic and scary.'
... One random fact about Liz, she never turns down the prospect of a camwhoring session. LOL!
And thus, the evil streak in me begins to, well, reveal itself.
HAHA, I look bad there as well. But seriously, I HONESTLY think i should go try out for one of those local pontianak productions.
Like, it could possibly even turn out to be something like THIS:
Well, in my HONEST opinion, this dude has majorly kick-ass photoshop skills. *SALUTES*
I wouldn't be able to do that in a thousand years! Really!
And I showed that picture to a lot of my friends. And they all had these to say:
1) Wah! Nice photoshop!
AND
2) OMFG Liz, you look like a goddamn serial killer/ghost/shit/pontianak in there. DAMN SCARY!
-__________-
I know I possess the amazing ability to look scary. Don't need to flatter me and feed my ego. :(
Yes, horrific, I am. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY CUTE SMILE + PUPPY DOG EYES + SWEET INNOCENT FACE?!?!?!?
Haha, like I was any of those in the first place. LOL. Just feeding my ever-expanding narcissism, buddy.
In conclusion, I tried to, *ahem* show off my photoshop skills as well.
And VOILA:
Am I as good as thatfreak, the dude who photoshopped my
Am I am I am I? :( *puppy dog eyes*
My inner voice is going, 'Damn Liz, enough of this shit already ...' T.T
Okay! The OC time!! ^^
Monday, November 28, 2005 || Not that kinda girl.
- Okay, so I am feeling confused, sad, disappointed and high on a caffeine overdose now. So this will be a serious post ...... somewhat.
I'm pretty sure that 40% of us girls around are like this. We act all innocent and puppy-eyed around guys and girls alike, trying to maintain an angelic farce and rep. Like, if a guy goes ... 'Do you masturbate?', such chicks will almost DEFINITELY widen their eyes, smack the guy's arm and exclaim, "EEEYER! You're so gross lah! *blush blush*"
When in actuality, they might be even hornier than - ME -.
Cause, you see, I don't hide anything. In my case, what you see is DEFINITELY what you'll get --- even less. Cause I only talk horny and make stupid sex jokes because, well, I don't see any purpose in pretending to be holy and innocent when my mind IS rather corrupted. =(
And so, one of my friends happens to be that kinda girl. You know, the innocent, wide-eyed, religious type that'd wince whenever I crapped about sex. And would tell me to 'behave'. Anyway, I became rather close friends with her over time and she suddenly tells me something like this:
"Oh, I've been having sex with Damon/Jim/(insert random male name here)
... Which seriously makes me feel like tearing my hair out of its roots and screaming in agony.
No lah, just exaggerating. But still, I feel so deceived, you know?
I'm seriously DAMN open-minded about nudity, sex and all that jazz. The one time my friend and I were walking home from 7/11 and we saw a NAKED
I don't believe in reputations. Or following the crowd. Neither do I really care, nor want to know what other people think of me. :D
But I've always believed in myself, first and foremost. I have done many, many crazy, bad and downright STUPID things in my life.
Like the time I shoplifted, when I was dared by a friend, back in form four. (I DO NOT feel good about this, and it was the first AND the last time. :( )
Or the time when I was two-timing some weird feller that I dated cause, well, I was bored.
But those were in the past. And shall remain there. For me, I don't believe in concealing past sins and mistakes, because those'd be dug out sooner or later anyway ... What's the point, right? I might as well own up to it, and face whatever consequence there is.
If I wasn't a virgin, I seriously wouldn't hide it from the world.
But putting aside all the negative confessions I just made about myself ... I still believe in values and I'll never ever let go of my beliefs.
One thing I still believe in is the sacredness of sex. I still believe, and I hold on to the fact that even in THIS day and THIS generation, virginity is still important.
Especially for girls ... Your first time is ultimately going to be your most precious memory and moment of your entire life. Why the hell would you want to give away that moment of pain and awakening pleasure to some random guy who may (or may not) fuck another girl the same way?
Well, maybe I haven't done it before, so I'm not in any position to say this ... But what is sex without love? It's merely a biological reaction that induces pleasure. And THAT'S IT. Nothing more, nothing less. Just nature.
Me, I'm still a hopeless romantic at heart. And despite of all the broken marriages and cases of guys cheating on their girlfriends ... I guess I still believe that true love DOES exist.
And true love waits.
Just like any other girl and guy out there ... I'm a teenage girl with raging hormones. But I also happen to be a teenage girl with a heart. And even though I'll admit that I don't use it enough ... I have a conscience, and I have brains as well. I am aware that NOT studying is possibly going to screw up my future. I'm aware that I might be making the wrong decisions all the time. But those are the risks that I find worth taking ... Because, well, I'm just being me. =D
But being the airheaded person that I am, believe it or not, I almost need to continue holding on and reaching for the dreams and beliefs that make me, well, me.
I think that in the end, it'll make the experience all the more more beautiful, sentimental and meaningful. =)
Why am I suddenly broaching this topic, you ask?
...... Well, a pretty good friend of mine just informed me that she has been having unprotected sex with her boyfriend for a few times last month.
...... And she is still waiting for her period.
*Sigh*
God bless you, my child. :(
P.S. Btw, Happy Birthday to Kenny Sia, who most probably does not know that this blog exists.
Sunday, November 27, 2005 || Lots of pictures. Random ponderings. And lesbian-looking photos.
- Currently feeling - Stoned out
Currently listening to - The Beatles - Get Back
Err, I switched to imageshack.us for the hosting of my banner. *wipes sweat* And I signed up for a flickr account for my pictures.
... As for my old pictures in my other posts, I don't know lah. I tried deleting like TWENTY pictures from my photobucket account to, erm, redeem my bandwidth again (LOL) but apparently, that doesn't work. Bah.
Anyway, yesterday's sleepover was F-U-N! As usual, we didn't sleep AT ALL. Which is to be expected, from our crazy sleepovers. Heh. Bitched and talked about a lot of stuff. Laughed until our jaws hurt. Gossiped about each other's boyfriends/ex-es/whatever.
Fun, I call it. I wish everyday could be as carefree as yesterday. =(
Bad lighting ... -_- And, a bad hair day for me. Bwahah.
I went to meet up with Cally at Pearl Point first, to have lunch and yum cha at the Pearl Milk shop. I brought my camera along, so obviously I was camwhoring a bit. =P There was this guy, the anak taukeh of the Cafe, who came up to me and asked if he could take a picture with me with my camera.
...... And because I was feeling rather nice, and I was in a jolly lovely mood, I obviously agreed, out of courtesy. =/ Which, I won't upload the picture here. Bah.
Cally: "That dude is so obviously hitting on you."
Me: "I know. And YOU'RE so obviously hitting on him."
Cally: "I know. Hehehe."
Erm, I love my friends? Haha. Anyway, I was window shopping, and at this accessory shop, this chick who was working at the shop, whom I noted to be rather small-sized came up to me.
"Hi ... You're my senior!" she went.
"Hi!!! (Told ya I was in a good and chatty mood ...) What senior?"
"I'm in your school! I saw you many times edi ..."
"OHH!!! Wah! What a coincidence! (I should kill myself for sounding so bubbly O_o) Anyway, what's a small girl like you working here?"
... My inner voice went 'EEK!!!!!' at this point. But I just continued smiling cheesily. -_-
"Erm. I'm form 3 already ler."
"Ohhhhhhhh ....... I see!"
... Which was actually a pretty weird ten minutes I spent chatting with my 'junior'. THANK GOD I was in a chatty mood, or I'd just smile and/or smirk away. =( It sort of reminds me of the time I bumped into two chicks at the Megamall toilets, or something, and they asked me: "Are you Eliza Lee of LEO club?!?"
Me: "...... I'm not in LEO club."
Two bubbly chicks: "OH! But we saw you dancing at the IU performance!"
Me: "Errrrrr ... that's a long story. But nope, I ain't in LEO. Not my kinda thing yo."
Two bubbly chicks: "Aikz! WE LOVE LEO! *continues chatting on and on about the loveliness of LEO club* "
-_________-
Anyway, LOTS of stupid camwhorish pictures ahead. As usual, if you have a thing against camwhoring, here's your cue to press the X button on the top right of your browser.
*puppy dog eyes*
So anyway, Jac and Cally (and I) arrived at my house at about 10 at night, after we were done yum cha-ing and such. And because we were so utterly bored and had nothing to do (My dad was hogging the TV, mum was hogging the computer.), we decided to "experiment" with my makeup, and steal some of my mum's. HAHA, I know, very elementary-schoolish of us.
Erm, we're all not that big fans of makeup. I only use concealer, and eye shadow at times. But this time, we actually decided to try out that eye liner I bought aeons ago. Plus mascara. And my mother's blood-red lipstick.
As for the blood-red lipstick ... Only I dared to try it out. Wtf. And a friggin' mistake, it was. =(
Shit, I look like a fat-faced whore or some kinda geisha-wannabe. Asshole Jaclyn's makeup actually worked, so she looked so bloody nice. Ish, jealous-nyer. =P
After gasping at all our initial pictures in terror and horror, I automatically wiped out that darned lipstick. -_- My lips are too thick for lip glosses. =(
Aye. Still look weird. :( But ... tak apa! Hehe.
Gah. I look so ... slutty. Which I'm not!!!
Sohai Jaclyn looks so nice, while I look so retarded. Cally looks cute! :D
And check out Jaclyn's shirt. Hahaha.
And I don't actually blame people for thinking that we're lesbians. -___-
Especially in this picture:
Yeah. Damn gay, I know. =(
Anyway, a few days ago, I was having a conversation with an old friend of mine. And we sort of broached the subject of my nonexistential love life, which sort of made me stop and think a bit.
See, last year, my form four year ... I was really playful. Not slutty-playful, just playful-playful. I was ALL OUT on having fun, as I was bored to death of playing the 'nerd' role with all my school friends. So I guess you could say that I fooled around a bit.
By all means, I wasn't a player. I just strayed a bit. And no, I don't feel proud either.
Sometime at the end of December, I vowed to just stop. And so I did. I've realized that I haven't been dating anyone for the past year, since December. Nor have I liked anybody ... The last guy I sort of really liked dissolved from my life last December.
So, I guess I should salute myself for being so 'berprinsip', yeah? =) It's like ... I'm SO USED to being single and enjoying myself with my friends already. My best friends and I never used to be this good friends, cause Jaclyn was busy with Simon last year, and Cally was still living in Cheras at that time. Hmmm.
I'm happy I made that decision. Life is just weird that way. Hehehe.
I actually sort of like this picture.
...... I can camwhore alone.
...... I can do it with friends. Hehehe.
After trying to 'ban cool' for so long, I FINALLY decided to smile.
...... Not exactly the cheesy grin that I like, though. Jaclyn obviously hasn't given up trying to look cool yet. Heh.
Group picture! (yeah right)
I SWEAR, I must've been a goddess in my past life. A goddess with that trademark pose. (I know I look like shit there though)
I'm so influential. HAHAHA!
*kembangs*
AND BE FOREWARNED: this is where it starts to get incredibly STUPID.
I have absolutely nothing to say in my defence. Guilty as charged. Ehehe.
Interesting bunch we are.
Man, we look like such posers. =(
Like so ganas only.
It took me a LOT of guts to NOT delete this upcoming picture. And even MORE guts to post this up here.
PROMISE THAT YOU'LL STILL COME BACK, EVEN AFTER THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Okay. *inhales*
... I look like #@$%#$#%#$#%$%$^T$T here. Jaclyn and Cally said that if I made that face in the middle of the night, they'd scream cause I look like a ghost.
More reasons for me to be casted as a ghost in a scary flick. ='(
Don't I look like I just strangled Jac and Cally to death, and then grinned maliciously at the camera? -_-
HAHAHA I like this!!!
I dont care if I look bad! =P
...... Almost.
Check out my guitar!!! :D
And lastly, (Yeah, thank God, huh? =P )
Us doing a Rambo impersonation. Or something. HAHAHA.
....... We're nuts, I know. :(
I think that I'm the type that'd look okay if I was the one holding the camera, but look shitty when somebody else is taking the picture. *scratches head*
Anyway, I should stop here lah! I think this post is too long already. I'm still wondering if there's any way to redeem a bit of photobucket bandwidth.
Till next time!!!
Saturday, November 26, 2005 || B.R.B
- Eh, my photobucket bandwidth exceeded!!! How now?!?!?!
Erm, anyway, I'll update later with some pics! =D
... My best friends are staying over at my place. SLUMBER PARTY!!!!!!
My photobucket bandwidth!!! T_T
Sorry, I think I'm sorta hyper-high now. Hehehe
Friday, November 25, 2005 || Of blogging, scary flicks and weird photoshopped pictures.
- Today was fun! :D
Erm, anyway, something pretty funny happened. According to the best friend (as most of you already know, since she does appear in my blog a lot -_-) Jaclyn, some dude, who shall remain anonymous added her in MSN Messenger, and if I do remember clearly, the conversation ran along the lines of this:
Some Dude: Hi
Jaclyn: Hi, who are you?
Some Dude: I went to ur blog. I saw ur pics there.
Jaclyn: All the pictures there are fucking ugly kay. (she thought the dude was referring to HER ... LOL, which meant she assumed it was those cacat BryanBoy poses and shit.)
Some Dude: No wor. Very nice wor.
Jaclyn: Very ugly lah right. Btw, how you get my email?
Some Dude: From your blog lor.
Jaclyn: Oh. Unfucktheworld? (which happens to be her blog)
Some Dude: Nono ... suemefordreaming something.
Jaclyn: ... That is my friend's blog
Some Dude: Aiks? Are you the guy that pimped her?
Jaclyn: Wtf?
Some Dude: Are you KY?
Jaclyn: Siapa tu? Anyway wtf I pimp her for, you think I very free ah? Pimp myself better, I more leng lui. HAHAHAHA.
Some Dude: Oh ......
Jaclyn: Why? You wanna kau Eliza?
Some Dude: I am very yong sui ... sure no hope wan
(My thoughts: what is wrong with you guys?!?! So fast change topic direction wan? -_-)
Jaclyn: Nonono, she like yong sui guys ... Funny can edi.
Some Dude: I'm not funny wor.
Jaclyn: Nvm nvm ... I give you her number wan? Her email u wan?
Some Dude: I dunno what to say to her wor.
Jaclyn: ... Seriously no hope lah you. Go wank lah.
(Note: If you're the dude who added my best friend and had THAT convo with her, don't be pissed if it didn't exactly go that way, kay? I lost the chat log she sent me, so I'm merely typing it out by memory.)
My question is this: HOW THE HECK DID ANYBODY GET JACLYN'S EMAIL FROM MY BLOG?!?! Only my email is displayed, wat!
Actually, I guess that since I'm on the topic, I ought to talk about this. My friends and all are saying that it isn't very advisable to display my MSN contact on my blog, cause I wouldn't want random crappy people like those who add me from Friendster to add me in MSN Messenger, right?
Plus there's the whole blogger-and-blog privacy thing. Heh.
But, I LIKE meeting new people. Online and otherwise. =) And most of the people that I meet via my blog are really very nice people! (If you're reading this, this could mean YOU. Wah cheh.) But of course, don't add me for stupid reasons lah.
... But nothing beats the DUMB people that add me in Friendster. Sorry, it may come off as offensive but Friendster is seriously a pile of LaLa shit. :(
So reveal yourselves and let's have a beautiful beginning to a possibly beautiful friendship. =) LOL!
Anyway, this is damn funny. You know my so-called post about my love story that was merely a joke? I purposely made it DAMN FAKE, even from the beginning itself, and I honestly wasn't expecting anybody to fall for that pile of crap. Seriously.
I was wrong.
My dear friend, Kok Loong, SMSed me four times the morning after that post, with all the messages going along the lines of 'Eh, don't be sad wei. Don't cry k. What's passed is in the past wei.'.
Which was really very nice of him. But unfortunately, I was CREDITLESS for two days at that time (I reloaded it already today! So spam my phone, ya!) so I couldn't reply.
... And he thought he pissed me off by adding salt to my wounds. Hehehe. It's all cool though. =D
Which, erm, makes me feel a bit weird. I mean, my blog is SO low profile already, compared to the likes of the other so-called big name bloggers, and I have people assuming that I'm having hot sex with girls (well, lesbianism.) and all that jazz. The whole reason I started this blog was amusement. Self-amusement, mostly. Hehehe.
I never really intended my blog to have much substance. I'm not saying that I'm an airhead, or that I'm not thoughtful AT ALL ... It's just that, all of us, myself inclusive, have so much shit going on in REALITY already. Why should I add controversy and fire to this alternate reality of mine?
Imagine if I blogged about SPM and my conflicts with my parents/enemies/boys/friends ALL the time. A bit too depressing right.
That's why I WANT to be amusing. =( Even though that's probably failing. HEHE.
Never mind. I am amused, and that's enough already. Haha!
But nope, I'm not writing this to look noble or anything. In fact, I'm secretly a traffic whore ...... Though I haven't been doing much to quench that need of mine. LOL. So PLEASE don't take me seriously, kay. Coming from me, unless I STATE that I'm being serious, most of the time I'm just exaggerating. I'm a laid-back joker and entertainer-wannabe by nature ... I'm only dangerous when I'm pissed.
REALLY dangerous. ;)
I'm not blogging for fame, just in case you were wondering ....... But don't count on that either. I have a REALLY impulsive system, I myself cannot predict how evil my mind can get. Hee-hee. =P
Today was fun.
Cally's boyfriend came off as a surprise. Seriously. That dude KICKS MY ASS in dancing, lip-synching and doing stupid stuff in front of the camera. Another fellow camera whore. Dammit, he even sung some Andy Lau song and recorded it on Cally's phone. -___-
I was surprised, cause Cally usually goes for seriously horny and boring, small guys. No offence, dear. Jaclyn likes 'em fat and funny.
... I like 'em old. And witty. And horny. ARGH. And I thought I was somewhat normal. (Not old old. Like, few years older than me old. Twenties, preferably. LOL. And no, Jin, I don't go for OLD men for their cash. -_-)
Anyway, I watched Cello! Which was a REALLY NEAT scary psychological thriller.
Very worth a watch, in my opinion. Cause UNLIKE most scary flicks, this show actually made sense ...... somewhat. Heh.
But eh, not scary enough lah! What happened to old-school scary flicks like that coolass The Fly?! (Which was a 1970s flick. Heh.) And I remember watching a really scary show about clowns when I was younger, too. Which kicks the socks off new age horror flicks. =(
...... Told ya I'm lame. *shrugs helplessly* And yes I know I look like shit there.
I should act in a scary flick, I swear. Don't I resemble the chick from Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam? (Or whatever the title is, can't remember.)
Err. Took that pic some time back. Didn't purposely camwhore for this post lah ~ =P
BUT, NOTHING will beat this, man:
*drools at so-called trademark pose*
Eh, people! Continue posing like that wei! =P Spread the love, remember?!?
...... Right. =/ I'm so lame. Eheh.
Thursday, November 24, 2005 || Of horny MSN conversations, screwed up SPM papers and my shaky future.
- SICK conversation between four girls:
The Buaya is Jaclyn, Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni ... is Cally, Mun Yee is, er, Mun Yee. And Liz is VERY traumatized is, well, me of course. Heh.
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
i wan baby blueeeee.....damn nice ler...lolzzz
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
i want anal sex
The Buaya says:
babe blue suxx
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
i wan 3D sex movie....blowjob toooo,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hahahahahahaha
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
U WANT TO SEE SEX?
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
COME TO MY HSE
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
MY BLARDY DOGS ARE MATING LIKE MAD
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
i wan 3D wan ler
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
i write this convo in my blog
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
...
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
oi
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
>_<
The Buaya says:
yeah
The Buaya says:
sure
The Buaya says:
Jesus loves you.. even perverts
The Buaya says:
so put tis in ur blog
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
okies
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
SEX!
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
THE MANY WAYS OF TRAUMATIZING URSELF IS TO WATCH SEX REPEATEDLY AND GET SICK OF IT
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
or.. do it repeatedly
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
I KNOW UR VERY WELL EXPERIENCED
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
she got fucked before lah
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
not like us
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
i'm fucked
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
I KNOW...I CAN SENSE IT THRouGH HER BIG BUTT
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
okay???
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
no.... my butt is very small.. juz like urs
The Buaya says:
muahahahahahahah
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
muahahhaah
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
SWEAT
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
small butt = painless sex
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
huhuhuhuh
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
eh? wrong theory
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
HAHA..
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
SWEATTTTT
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
I LIKE TO TALK BIG
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
butt big or small doesnt matter.. what matters is the hole
The Buaya says:
yeah cally
The Buaya says:
you are so smart
The Buaya says:
like me
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
BUT ..... IF UR BUTT IS SMALL.
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
HOW U EXPECT UR HOLE TO BE BIG?
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
can.. stuff in carrot 24/7.. how small also can be big lah
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
U DO THAT?
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
wtf
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
jac do tat oni...not me
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
O_o
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
WTF JAC?!
Cally ... ai shang wei lai de ni..... says:
yes....do u see her butt so da BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
The Buaya says:
tiu you lah
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
its not big
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
its berlemak
Liz is VERY traumatized says:
=X
Mun Yee ~ [-psychedelic pandafied™ -] [-ßàßŷšŦõrm™-] says:
BIG SWEAT
Disclaimer: Bear in mind that we ARE a bunch of sex-deprived, somewhat horny chicks, but we DO NOT speak like this all the time ... Well, most of the time. =P
I hereby announce that I'm traumatized.
Seriously. My knees are weak. My hands are still shaking.
My mouth is still watering.
Haha, stupid jokes aside, I AM traumatized. Add maths was pure HELL. Seriously, I think I left the most blanks I ever did in my entire life ...
... And seeing how I ALWAYS fail add maths, I guess this time is no exception either. And nope, I'm not seeking for pity or anything like that. =(
I didn't study for it. Therefore, I deserve to fail. Hehe. Just have to get used to that, I guess. What was REALLY funny, though, was the fact that I freaking forgot to bring my calculator for my second paper.
Which proved to be VERY VERY VERY scary and nerve-wrecking. PLEASE DO NOT try this at home. :( I had to literally beg for a calculator from my school discipline teacher.
The one who constantly got on my nerves for having long fingernails. :( I DECLARE THAT MY PRIDE IS CRUSHED!
*sniff sniff*
Okay, putting aside the comic relief, I was speaking with my parents and my uncle about my post SPM education plans a few moments ago.
Hmm. It's a really weird feeling, you know. I've been waiting for this moment practically since the first minute I stepped into Science stream (Cause I hated it to bits, yeah. Still do.) but now that the moment's HERE, somehow, it's a funny feeling.
All the planning and dreaming that I did ... are now about to possibly make a transition into Reality ... if I allowed it.
The thing is, I'm not too sure anymore. =(
All the plannings that I did ... were they sheer rashness? Were they dreams, and JUST dreams, brewed by my eagerness to leave the hellhole I call school? (Note: By all means, I don't hate school that much ... I've just always felt sore about how they forced me into science stream, heh.)
I love writing, yes, but I hardly doubt that I'm good at it. Do I want to write for a living? Am I prepared to feel obliged to write?
It's a weird feeling, really. O_o It's almost as though I'm rediscovering myself.
I've always wanted to be a war correspondent, but I guess it IS pretty apparent that I love my ass too much to risk it being bombed by landmines. =/
But anyway, I'm reconsidering these: (though I know that you're probably not interested ... hee)
Journalism - The power of the press. To write for a good cause. To be given the opportunity to be an honest voice amongst the hundreds that don't give a damn.
It's what I've always wanted.
But I'm not sure if I'm up for it. =(
Culminary/Food and beverages - I love eating, and I actually DO think that it'll be a really nice and fuzzy feeling to see the happy smiles on the faces of satisfied consumers. Hehehe.
Tourism/IT/music/business - Tourism is pretty cool. I don't know if this is an option, but maybe I could major in Journo and minor in Tourism, so God willing, I'll be able to be a travel journalist. WHICH WILL BE ULTRA COOL.
And will do my blog good as well. Come on, you'd definitely read a blog that actually featured exotic places, weird food and sexy people. Unlike my current boring one. =(
IT, something I'm pretty interested in, but probably not something I'd want to make a career off. Besides, at the rate I'm going, IF I do take up IT as well, I'll be a brain cancer patient by the age of 30, lolz.
Music - I think I ruled this off, considering how utterly RUSTY I am with my electone, and how I forgot how to play my guitar. -___-
Business - Tempting. Especially for power-hungry penniless nuts like me. LOL.
Only the strong survive in this field. That's why I find it so remarkably tempting. But knowing me, I'm not the type that'd submit to authority ... So it'll probably mean that I'll end up opening my own shop or something. =(
And the way things are looking, the ONLY kind of shop that I can see myself potentially opening, is a bakery. Cause Cally is currently studying Bakery, and she wants to be my partner. @_@
I guess you could say that I'm artistically-inclined. I CAN'T stand mathematics cause I'm bad with numbers, and science bores me out. A lot.
........ I still feel like strangling myself when I think of my add maths. BUT, I guess I should let it pass ... No point freaking myself now, huh? :(
Sorry for the boring post. Hee-hee.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005 || A heart-wrenching tale of my first love and I.
- Listening to: Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You - Air Supply
Mood: EMO
Am feeling very sad, touched, lovesick, emo and disconnected at the moment. :'(
Maybe it was because of my incredible stupidity in writing 'Saling bekerjasama dan membantu' instead of 'Saling membantu dan bekerjasam' for my moral paper.
Maybe it was caused by my fleeting and sleepy mind, when I was literally scribbling shit on my moral paper, that my mind wandered to him.
And now, I feel like I'm ready to tell the tale of my loved one and I. The unedited version. Something even my best friends have yet to hear. An experience I will always cherish, and will hold close to my heart till eternity. =(
It may be long. It may be boring. But I'm too overwhelmed by this wave of emotions to care. I need to do this, and move on.
We met in Adventure Camp, he and I. I went alone, as my friends were all in their LEO Leadership camp. I remember standing at the receptionist's desk, staring at the crowd, hoping to see a familiar face ...
Then I saw him.
Dark brown hair, twinkling dark eyes and a million dollar smile that literally melted my heart into melted marshmellows. I widened my eyes and choked on my coke, due to my thumping heart, which was out of control.
"Hi ... you okay?" he asked me, in a deep, soronous voice that sent tingles down my spine.
Which sparked the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And later, an even more beautiful love story, more tantalizing than any fairy tale. Sweeter than the sweetest of apples. Lovelier than diamonds.
"I love you, darling ... " I whispered to him. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I gently pulled him closer for a sweet kiss. We were both young, energetic and hopelessly in love. Full of zest for life and even more for each other.
I stared at the dark, cloudless December sky that twinkled with stars, as Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven softly played in the background. His arms enclosed around my waist, and he whispered sweet nothings into my ear that almost made cry.
"I love you too, Liz. For everything that you are. For the person that you see in me. The person that I am, because of you ......"
I gave him my soul, my heart, and my virginity that night.
But like every fairytale, there must be an ending to a story.
And here is mine.
Like almost every weekend, we met for our date in MidValley. It was a day like no other, and I was happy and gay, unknowing of the pain that was about to embrace me.
"I have something to tell you, Liz ..." his haunting voice still echoes in the depths of my heart, till this very day.
"I'm not in love with you anymore ... "
I felt hot tears well up in the corner of my eyes and I shook my head, not wanting to hear anymore, yet he continued ......
"I'm so sorry ... I did love you so ... But I fell in love with Eric ..."
Which caused my heart to stop beating as I gaped at him. Eric was my tennis partner.
"I never told anybody this, Liz ... But I'm bisexual." He said, almost a whisper.
I was crushed.
For the first time in my life, I finally knew what the word 'heartbroken' meant.
I was torn apart from the depths of my heart, for in the same day, I did not only lose my boyfriend, and the love of my life ... But I had lost Eric, as well.
I've learnt so much from him. I've learnt that first love is as sweet as any other. I've learnt that some memories never fade.
Some scars never heal. Time has healed the wounds in my heart, but I will never forget his dazzling smile, or his intense gaze. I still shudder when I think of his touch.
I still love him, nor will I ever forget him. =(
I've learnt that I'm who I am today, because of him.
I've also learnt that SPM is perpetually screwing with my brains, thus resulting in me becoming a great liar. HAHA!
I'm so bored. =_=
Tuesday, November 22, 2005 || Liz is hurt. And saddened. :(
- Listening to: Kim Bum Soo - Bo Go Ship Dah
Mood: Hyper
Okay, I PROMISED myself that I'd refrain myself from blogging today, much less twice in a day ... But I can't help it. This is simply too good and juicy to pass up.
And oh, I've managed to destroy all the spybots. There were 130 spywares in my computer. =( And um, I noticed that two of them were called Adult Store (wtf?!?!?).
WHO HAS BEEN USING MY COMPUTER TO SURF PORNO?!?!?! *grabs baseball bat*
Err. Right.
Okay, like many many of my previous posts, this post is undoubtedly going to make me look utterly dumb and bimbotic. But I shall let that slide, hehehe.
*enters stupid-brainless-pathetically-funny mode*
Anyway, I heard from a friend of mine, who shalt remain anonymous, that one of his friends commented that I am a lesbian, after reading my blog. Because, well, I write about myself and my best friend, Jaclyn a lot.
I profess that my feelings are hurt. ='(
TRULY SADDENED, I AM! *wails*
No lah, I was in a normal mood (meaning I was my normal, cheery self yeah.) so I started laughing.
Do we look like lesbians to you? DO WE?!?!?
Fine, maybe we do lah. But that's because we're BEST FRIENDS, per se, so we tend to spend a lot of time together. It has always been that way, since we were both eight years old or so.
So how do you explain this?! Cally joined our low-profile best-friend partnership this year, after she moved to Old Klang Road. So now we're all happily a threesome, is it? So now the three of us are performing lesbian acts, is it? (Granted, probably nobody'd be remotely interested in watching THAT, given the huge lack of sex appeal on our parts ...)
How about my school best buds and I, then? =(
Actually I probably shouldn't have posted that picture up, seeing as how Suet has already cut all ties with us. But this is the most lesbian-looking picture I could find. -_-
And anyway, I'm from a girl's school. Which, of course, all-girls schools are often rumoured to be packed with lesbians/bisexuals/whatever.
When, in actuality, I think I only personally know maybe two lesbians. Well, unless there are a lot more closet ones lurking around.
I DO know a couple of bisexuals, though. O_o It seems that bisexuality is the new black. Actually, there are times when I think that I myself am bi as well, seeing as how I have tendencies to drool over hot chicks. But I pretty much clarified that I'm straight, cause despite me going 'WAH! HOT CHICK!' at certain pretty girls, I do not have any intentions to have, err, further relationships with them. LOL.
I honestly wouldn't mind being bi, though. Seriously. Then if my future boyfriend (if I ever have one, that is ... huhu) ever drooled at other chicks, I'd at least be able to understand WHY is he drooling at them ... Right?!
This is seriously funny lah. Why is everybody so crazy and free to make such stupid assumptions about each other? So what if I prefer pussies to dicks, anyway? -___-
*just joking*
Discrimination. Bleh.
These two dudes take a lot of pictures together as well. Does it mean they are gay? =( Fine, they probably are, but there's no way anybody can prove it, right? =(
Since I'm SORT of on the subject (not really), I was shaking my leg a bit when I was having lunch with my friends just now. Out of habit. I'm pretty sure that everybody does that every once in a while ...
And my friend told me that he read in some health mag or whatever that when one shakes his/her leg, it means that your body is subconsciously telling you that you are high. High as in horny-high.
-____________________-
Crap, now I'm going to have all sorts of weird things in my mind whenever I see anybody shaking their legs.
Monday, November 21, 2005 || Of judgemental assholes and hot gay guys.
- Listening to - Destiny's Child - Stand up For Love
Mood - Mellow (Ya, again.)
This song, Stand up for love by Destiny's Child, is such a good song. O_O
Short update on my life. My dad and I have patched things up, due to my sudden eagerness to buy dinner for him and help fold my mother's clothes. -_-
I've lost one of my best friends (or so I thought ... Hmm) because she won't forgive us for accidentally teasing her boyfriend and wishes to cut all ties with us. Though I'm still hoping that we'll be able to salvage this shreded friendship ...... Somehow.
Was supposed to meet up with Wilson today but I failed to do so as I was happily dozing. And he woke me up, with an SMS that went, 'Eh where are you? I'm with Jaclyn now. Wah, I saw Ivy. VAVAWOOM, WOW!'
... Which I didn't reply, as I was half asleep. -_- Catch up with ya some other time, alright dude? Hehe.
Went to O.U.G again, to buy some stuffs for SPM ... *coughs* ignore the nail polish I bought. The dude from the Pearl Milk shop is so ... flirtatious. Though I usually don't mind flirtatious people, I find it annoying when somebody you don't know that well acts all buddy buddy with you. =/ I had a blast, though. Was really FUN crapping and bullshitting with my friends.
Thank God for real friends. =(
This time, from Jin of quicksilverlining.blogspot.com, otherwise known as qsl.
You people really make my day. =D
Love ya love ya love ya.
Take a look at THIS picture:
Okay, so the first thing that comes to my mind, when I look at it, is 'Ooo sexy ...' (Yeah, I know I'm not exactly holy. So sue me. =P)
So I uploaded it as a display picture in my MSN, and I was amused to see that asides from MY own initial reaction, there were other pretty interesting responses.
'Eh who's that cutie?'
'NICE PECS!'
'Damn Liz, Take out the picture of that half naked guy before I stop talking to you.'
'You're gross. That's so gay.'
Haha, this is where I go ... It must be nice to be bisexual. >.< See, if you're bisexual, you'd be able to view world from TWO POINTS OF VIEW. How cool is that?
So, you see, everybody has different reactions towards different people and has different tastes for different things. No two freaking people are the same. For instance, you may find me ugly, but I may think that I'm rather pretty indeed. But in any case, I'm not in any position to question what you think of me, neither are you in a position to attack mine.
Life's like that. You gain some, you lose some.
I guess nobody is perfect after all, eh? We're all bitches. I don't believe that nobody in the world has NEVER bitched about anybody else before. If you haven't, please email me, I'd love to get to know you. Hehe.
There's one thing I can't stand. I cannot stand self-righteous people who think that they're amazing, when in actuality, they're merely another shadowy face, amongst the millions that grace planet earth. I hate people who think that they have rights to point fingers at my life or anything else that concerns me. -_-
Unless I've done that to you too, that is.
Um, actually, I think that I'm going to start keeping a safe distance between my real life and my blog. Obviously, people are not really interested in my life, right? And if I write and rant about my private problems all the time ...... Well, people are going to make assumptions about me. And I know that most of the assumptions are not exactly ... nice, since people prefer poking at negativity most of the time. Hehe.
My life philosophy is this: What does not benefit me, I shan't do.
That's why I don't smoke or drink, like some of my friends do. Nor do I sleep around or anything. Because I wouldn't want to hurt myself ...... Or anyone else, for that matter. Even if somebody intentionally tried to hurt me, I doubt that I'm the type that'd bite back, since I'm too lazy to give a damn half of the time.
Yeah, stupid post, I know. It's partially due to the fact that my computer is OVERLOADED with Spyware that I can't seem to get rid off. :(
And when I complained to my friends about it, 4 out of 5 of them suggested that I don't visit porno sites so much.
WHAT. THE.
I don't. I really really don't. *puppy dog eyes*
Sunday, November 20, 2005 || I loooooove kids.
- Listening to: Sugar Ray - Fly
Mood: Mellow
It turns out blogger doesn't have a password-protected post feature. O_o
Nevermind, so be it. Though I'll really have to admit that my petty problems with my parents, my ex best school friend, and whatever else has nothing to do with this blog, as I'm trying to make it as impersonal as it can get so that no hard feelings will come with blogging anymore.
Still love it, though. :D
And I'm pretty weird. Whenever I'm feeling really angry or sad, I need to do something to fill up my time and slowly come to my senses. Hence the second post in the same day. Which, is written, ultimately to make myself feel better. Hee-hee. =)
Anyhow, this is going be something like a prequel to a post I wrote around last month, about attending a kindergarden graduation ceremony.
See, a few months ago, I actually *gasp* volunteered myself as a teacher's assistant at, get this, a KID'S camp, which is aimed at kids aged from 4 to 8 and held at an kindergarden. Actually, I wasn't even interested in noisy kids back then, but I was forced to volunteer along with Jaclyn and Ivy, hehehe. And besides, I needed the certificate and pictures for my SPM Moral Project. -_-;;
And it has been possibly one of the most life-altering experience of my life. No kidding.
Slightly late to post about it, ay, but I shalt do so anyway. It'll do good for my mood, hehe.
I miss them all. =(
So I was assigned to help Martha, a lovely, motherly lady from the US with the eight to nine year olds. And the other assistant assigned to help out was, err, Cally. Best friends DO stick together, ya.
I think that the so-called moral project that our lovely education ministry has bestowed upon all SPMers is total bullshit. Seriously, nobody sincerely does the required volunteer work. Talk about teaching teenagers to lie, hehe.
And, the coolest thing was, Joshua even drove us (Jaclyn, Cally, Me, and the four teachers from America) to the KL Bird Park the next day. Cause, well, he's nice. Lol.
When I was younger, I used to love the story of The Ugly Duckling. Heh, you know, the story of the ugly duck that was shunned by its family and peers because it was brown and ugly. So it went into seclusion, and it grew up into a beautiful swan, prettier than all the ducks who shunned him in the past.
I love the moral value in the story ... Don't you?
I didn't exactly camwhore much, yeah.
This kid is the cheekiest feller I have EVER had the privilege to meet throughout my whole life. -_-
Me: Eh Kevin, who is Jesus?
Kevin: CHICKEN!!!!!
-__________-
Soooooooo cute!
This kid, Justin, has REALLY made a difference in my life, though he'll never ever know of it. Hehe.
I never knew I had the capacity to adore anybody before. But I absolutely adore this kid to bits. Still do. In fact, not intending to sound pedo or anything here, but I think I actually have deeper feelings for Justin than for Ezra, who was supposedly the biggest school-girl crush of my life.
=( I miss the kid.
Eheh. Their mother is a lucky lucky woman.
And since everybody seems to hate me for camwhoring:
WHO SAYS ONLY NARCISSISTIC, HORNY TEENAGERS ARE PRO CAMWHORES?!?!?
This kid is going to grow up to be soooo pretty.
And this kid is going to be a HUNK.
Carlo's dad is mat salleh, I think, which explains the ultra leng chai face. Lolz.
*cracks knuckles* TIME TO HUNT FOR A CUTE BOYFRIEND!!!!
No lah, just joking.
But really, I wish I could rewind time and relive that four days again. Meh, to tell you the truth, I even told my counsellor/teachers/friends/whoever who bothers to know that I'm reconsidering to be a child therapist or kindergarden teacher.
These kids, they're all awesome, amazing kids with SO MUCH potential that I see in them. I think I used to be like them, hehe. But I never had somebody in my life to inspire me to be a great person, when I was growing up.
Which probably explains the less-than-great person that I am today.
All of us, we have people we look up to, people we want to be like. When we were much younger, it was the action heroes we'd watch on TV and probably our parents. Somewhere along the way, I found that I didn't look up to my parents that much anymore, not enough to want to be LIKE them. And the heroes I watched on TV ... I soon learnt that they were all fake, just like Santa Claus and the North Pole doesn't exist.
I still wish I'd met someone who inspired me to grow up to be an amazing person, though. Maybe I'd have turned out differently ... Better, even. =/
Maybe I can be that someone in somebody else's life.
