Sunday, August 27, 2006 || er ... [insert emo title]
- Hallo people.
I just came home. O_____o I spent the night at a friend's place, which was a rather interesting night of lotsa emo talk, bitching, and fries over tiger beer. (sorry God)
Oooooooooh, so wanna know how screwed up am I? I know you do! :D
(actually, I kinda think that whoever who ever bothers to read my blog only reads it to gloat at how messed up I can get. Har har har ...)
Oh yeah, consider yourself highly privileged cause the following are stuff I only shared with ONE friend only YESTERDAY. I never talked about it to anyone else, cause I consider it pretty shameful ... but now that I'm fully recovered, who cares lah! Let people gloat at my mistakes and learn from mine. =))))
Okay, so once upon a time, there were two guys going after dear ole' Liz. Well, the only two among the rest that she actually noticed, anyway. One of them was Mr Ice Cream man, who was nothing but nice to her, someone she barely really gave a damn about ... until his niceness sort of grew on her. The other was er ... Mr Ass (sorry, can't think of anything haha), whom she noticed cause she thought he was kinda good-looking.
Don't ask me how I could like (not love, btw) two guys at the same time. Don't. It just ... happened. O.o
So yeah, I guess you could probably guess the rest of my sorrowful story by now. I didn't go "official" with neither of them, but you could say that I was pretty much dangling the two of them on my fingers. I really tried to figure out if I liked Mr Ice Cream, Mr Ass ... or if I never even liked both of them at all...... But I couldn't.
SO anyway ... *insert X files theme song here*
Mr Ass sorta saw me er, flirting and flaunting other guys in front of him (I did no such thing, wtf), and he took it pretty badly. I was pretty surprised at his reaction, really, cause I was under the impression that he was fooling around since the beginning ... So yeah, out of my life goes Mr Ass.
(Who IS an Ass, anyway, cause he fucking flirted with one of my best friends in front of me, knowing that I did sort of like him and it must've embarrassed me. Yeah, thanks a lot, best friend.)
Mr Ice Cream man, however, accidentally read one of the messages on my phone from Mr Ass. So you could probably tell how he took that as well. I was really upset and guilty at this, cause he was nothing but NICE to me.
But as for the Mr Ice Cream man thing, I'd have to say that I didn't try to purposely lead him on or anything, cause he was my friend. I kinda liked him and all that, but I honestly didn't know that he thought of me as anything special. I suspected ... (hello, who on earth would buy ice cream for me whenever I whined about it right?) ... but I still thought we were friends. :(
Before anybody points out that it's all my fault and I really deserved everything I got --- I ALREADY KNOW. :( I'm really damn disappointed at myself for treating so many people so lightly. And I think that I've learnt my lesson and that I'm paying a pretty high price for it as well.
Tsk. This happened before but last time around, I really didn't care. This time, however, I think I'm slightly crushed. And just a bit broken.
But I'll come around, yeah? :D I mean ... it's a pretty good learning experience, anyway. At least for now, I already know what I'm looking for in life. And that I absolutely LOVE all my friends for being nice to me when I was pretty down, though they had no idea what was I so down about.
Oh yeah, you know what's the most ironic thing of it all? Super nice Mr Ice Cream guy is willing to forgive me.
But I'm not really about to forgive myself, just yet. After all the shit I possibly purposely did, for the sake of my own entertainment, I think he deserves a lot better than me. Besides, like I said before, I couldn't tell who I liked more - and I still can't. Though I guess judging by how fast my recovery was, I think I only had crushes on them.
Besides, I'm good at being single. I just feel so sorry that Ice Cream man and I will probably never be the good friends that we were again, ever, after everything ...
MORAL LESSON OF THE DAY: Don't ever be too greedy. And indecisive.
BUT, life is not that shitty after all, cause I got a freaking 4.0 for my Psychology. That's an A, ya'll!!! *happy squeal* After all the SHIT I went through for my group assignments, I'm pretty damn happy, I'd say.
And I got 3.5 (B+) for my Marketing. -__-'' But considering how I only studied like, two hours for it and spent most of my time blogging and sleeping the night before, I'm quite pleased with it as well. :D
Besides, nobody got 4.0 for marketing. Oh well.
Who wants to go mamak! Yum cha's on me. ;)
