Friday, February 24, 2006 || Case of a goddess.
I have a friend, let's call her the Goddess. In all honesty, she is possibly one of the prettiest girls I've ever had the pleasure to meet in my entire life. And believe me, coming from a pathetic all-girls school, I've definitely seen my share.
We are not exactly best friends, but we've been running around in the same circles ever since form 1, and we're pretty good friends. She is like, the epitome of Ms Perfect, cause she studies hard, has never uttered a SINGLE cuss word in her entire life, and is polite and courteous to basically everybody. And everytime I would accidentally (or not) curse, she would widen her big big eyes and stare at me dubiously that'd make me feel so evil enough to apologize. She's so innocent and good that guys and girls alike would NEVER wanna be caught dead holding a porno DVD in front of her, because she'd likely shriek, freak out, and make you feel so guilty you'll almost feel like grabbing a star from the sky to make her feel better and smile again. Yup, that good.
Anyway, my friend and I were doing a head-count just now. And there are at least ten guys that are battling each other, and racing against time, for her heart right now. AT LEAST.
Of course, that's to be expected. If I was male myself, I would be pretty smittened by her, though I doubt that she's my type. (I like Angelina Jolie more than, hmm, Gywneth Paltrow. heh. Bad girls rule! ... yeah right.)
Because my friend, the Goddess, and I are somewhat running in the same circle of friends (though we have other friends outside of it), we've realized that about 40% of the guys that we're both friends with are madly in love/lust with the Goddess.
20% of the dudes are already taken. And the remaining 40% are, uh, different.
...WHICH MEANS THAT THERE ARE PRACTICALLY NO ELIGIBLE BACHELORS AROUND FOR US ANYMORE! Nada, nil, zilch!
Even though we're not remotely impressed by any of those dudes ... but still. The possibility of having NO available members of the opposite sex around is terrifying, if not slightly intriguing.
There is this concert that we're all probably gonna attend in March. The goddess, said friend, and I will all be there. The main reason the Friend is going is because the love of her life, the only male creature on earth who makes her hurt go 'thumpity-thump', will be present as well.
"So what will you do if Mr. "Right" suddenly finds himself so smittened by the Goddess, and decides to go for her, since he doesn't even know that you're interested in him?", I curiously asked. Well hey, it wouldn't be surprising.
She answered triumphantly, "Welllllllll, remember W? (... One of the #1_ competitors racing for the Goddess) I've already told him to be there. So he'll occupy Goddess lah!"
"That doesn't mean Mr "Right" isn't gonna be mesmerized by her you know ... ", I cheekily reminded her. Only to aggravate her and make her worry more.
But as it turns out, Friend already had it all planned out in advance.
"Hahaha, I've already reconsidered it. What, you think I'm stupid? Anywaaaaaay ... W is interested in Goddess. And W is Mr "Right"'s best friend. You think those two best friends are gonna fight over the Goddess? I know Mr Right, he's too nice to do that!"
Interesting, I thought. "You proved me wrong, girl."
"How?"
"It seems like I'm not exactly the most manipulative person on earth", I told her.
... Seriously, the things people do to get a guy/girl. Personally, I would never put in more effort than merely SMSing or calling some dude to capture his heart.
I salute you people. Really. =/
Phat Culture had a nightmare at 4:50 PM
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