Tuesday, September 13, 2005 || Love for the loveless
- Interesting Happenings
Friend: *pokes me from behind*
Me: What?
Friend: I'm a SPG!
Me: (... sarong party girl?) What the?
Friend: I'm a super pretty girl! :D
Me: ...... -_-
Ahh, yesterday and today have been so interesting. One great thing that happened, however, is that my abhorrent Moral paper is over. I'm not about to go into a "Why do I think Moral is an insult to my intelligence" rant, for I'll get carried away, and it is generally not nice to show off my boisterous side in such a depressing state of time. However, it wouldn't hurt for me to say that Moral, or rather, the Malaysian moral syllabus is rather pointless and must be another of the Education Ministry's schemes to perpetually brainwash us. Not that it's working.
Anyway, I was really surprised that K, a dude I used to really like called me up yesterday. I mean, I'm kind of certain that I didn't even give him my new number. Hmm, how mysterious. So we talked for awhile, and I asked him: "So. How's your love life, huh? Since I didn't get to catch up with you for almost six months ..." To which he replied: "Well, not exactly great, if you ask me. I had three break ups in those six months. You?"
And because I did not have a single break up to boast about, nor do I even have a relationship at the moment, I did what I could to save my embarassment.
"Me? Nope, no love life at all. All because I could never get over you, AH HA AHAH!"
...... A very long pause. What made it funnier was that K (who shall remain anonymous, for fear that people who are aware of him will stumble upon this blog and expose my once-underlying-passion to the world >.<) and I weren't even together at all. Just a love/hate 'I think he/she likes me but won't admit it!' kind of friendship or whatever you'd call it. So I was squirming in my stomach, as I noticed the lameness and seriousness of what came out of my big, fat mouth. And I just laughed really hard (which made it all even more embarrassing, really.) and prayed that he misheard me. However, he heard what I said, alright, and I had to spend half an hour explaining that I only uttered so because I was temporarily numbed by my inner 'cuckoo-ness'.
Very eloquent, I know.
Which brings me to think ... Am I really missing out on something by stubbornly sticking to my No Serious Dating Before 18 policy? I have no idea at all. I'm perfectly happy and satisfied with my life as it is, but honestly, there are times when I feel totally left out and helpless, especially when my friends are discussing their boyfriends, and I have nothing interesting whatsoever to add. Thank God for the remaining 60% of my best friends who are still single.
And, well, people seem to get the wrong impression of me all the time. Apparently, as my dearest friends filled me in, people who don't really know me seem to think that I'm wild. At least 'Wild' sounds cool, I guess. Gotta be grateful for all the little things, ay?
There are times when I myself don't know why am I shying away from this whole love game. I mean, wouldn't be nice to have someone to whisper sweet nothings to? To have one person in the world whom you can totally pamper and feel pampered by in return ... And not to mention, moonlight walks, dinners on the beach, gazing at the twinkling, starry skies ...
I want to be the girl in the pic :(.
So, maybe that's my problem. I'm too much of a dreamer and an idealist. You see, I'm usually only really intrigued by things I cannot get. Hence my fascination with the Bermuda Triangle. And perhaps, I know for sure that the parents and man of my dreams do not exist, therefore I'm too idle to appreciate the things and people that are right in front of my eyes, right now. Even though I fully intend to spend my whole life chasing my dreams, it'd be a bit doltish and stupid of me to brush aside all the significant-though-imperfect people in my life over a wild goose chase, wouldn't it? I mean, who am I to even dream up a perfect existence, given the fact that I myself am too far away from perfection?
I don't know. Everything that has happened to me within the past six months has changed me in more ways than I ever could've imagined, I think. All of a sudden, it's like I'm seeing the world in a whole new light. And its true, I can't understand most of the pain and oddities that I went through, so I guess I'll take them as enigmas I've yet to unfold. :D
Maybe, just maybe, the world may not be as bad as I think it is, after all.
