Thursday, August 04, 2005 || What's it like to be a parent?
- Mmm. I often wonder about marriage a lot. And after watching countless marriage couples, I've come to think that maybe, like most stuff, marriage is overrated. But I'm deeply intrigued as to how children are involved ... Looking at our generation today, you'd admit that at least 60% of kids and teenagers are sort of screwed up. So why do people have children, anyway?
Reproduction is a fascinating thing.
Ah. The world is filled with all types of people ... You'll find hippies, the mentally deluded ones, the typically successful ones, the brainy ones, the wannabes... We all come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. And so do parents. What made most of my childhood memorable were probably the presence of my weirdly-screwed-up-but-nonetheless-functioning parents. Well, duh, they supposedly took care of me and brought me up, didn't they?
Different parents practise different disciplinary techniques. Some try to conquer the evil in their kids with love, some verbally assault their offsprings until the naggings are instilled in their heads while others choose to use physical ways to 'awaken' their children. My parents seemed to have absorbed all three ways in bringing me up. I often remember my father bribing me with ice-cream whenever I threw a tantrum, my mother constantly nagging over my shoulder and of course, the random whippings.
One incident that could never leave my mind was probably the time when I lied about not completing my homework to my parents, at the tender age of eight. And inevitably, my parents found out. Well, I guess I wasn't such a good liar when I was at such an innocent age. But what marked the incident as memorable was the turn of events that happened after my parents found out ... And it all happened when I was watching The Little Mermaid for what was probably the 101th time.
"Turn of that darned show. Come here, mummy wants to talk to you."
"Huh? Why, mummy?"
"Kneel down in front of me. Why did you lie?"
"Um ... I didn't lie."
"Yes you did. You did not finish your homework. Don't you learn in Sunday School that lying is a sin and that God hates it?"
"*starts sniffing* I'm sorry, mummy ..."
"*starts to screech* I don't care. Kneel down and repeat "God, please forgive me. Mummy and daddy, I'm sorry for lying" until I say you can stop!"
And so I would follow the instructions.
Wow. It even surprises me how vividly the scene's replaying in my mind. Well, I guess it was pretty tough, receiving such a huge blow to my ego. Not that I think I had one, at that age ... What were they thinking, honestly? I wish I could muster up the courage to demand explainations from them.
Ladies and gentlemen, no matter how piously religious you are, never use that kind of method to instill the fear of God into your kids that way. Believe me. Whenever my parents'd drag religion into their disciplinary routines, they only succeeded in confusing me even more ... It often made me wonder, does this God actually love me? Because if he does, why is he telling my parents to punish me this way?
How innocent I was. Sigh. I'd never do that to my kids, though ... I'll be so afraid for them that they'd turn out like me. Delusional, slightly morbid, a tad disturbed and completely messed up. Of course, I don't place the blame on my parents ... At least I've learnt one very important thing.
Think twice before punishing your kids. It may leave scars that will never fade off, if the wrong way is used.
