Listening to: Nora and Vince - Dilema 2003 (totally emo song man!)
Yesterday was SOOOOO bittersweet. Yes, that's the exact word to describe it: bittersweet.
I've never felt such a big mixture of sadness and happiness in my entire life.
Anyway, the "goodbye" didn't exactly go as I'd expected ... It definitely didn't. And to think I thought I had it all planned out. I think it's one of those moments in life that I wouldn't need to blog about it to always remember it. I swear, it's so bittersweet it reminded me of an ending to some emo korean drama. Can cry one okay!
Damn corny lah, but in that moment, all I knew was that I've never felt anything this deep for anyone before. And that is saying a lot. I even knew that I loved his flaws (which .......... @_o), and that I wouldn't do a thing to change him. Even if it meant walking away with nothing except an extra smile and incomplete memories.
Yes. Pretty deep, coming from an airhead like me, I know. (hahahaha wtf)
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Dude, I don't really care what happens to us anymore. I don't care how different are we or how we'd be really bad for each other, and how we both know it. I don't even care that we ended up nowhere, and technically, because of that, all the time we spent was "wasted" ...
Screw my stupid insecurities and doubt about how you felt for me, I don't even care about that. All I really care about is you. I just want you to be okay, and happy. Just know that no matter who you are and what you do, it doesn't matter cause there'll always be someone who genuinely cares for you here.
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Fuck. Damn emo again.
ANYWAY, I've set up a new blog. A private one, this time around. :D
See, not that many people read my blog (which is now something I'm kinda thankful for), but I've come to know that quite a number of people that I wish don't read my blog reads it. You don't know how distressing is it for me to censor what I want to say, when all I want to do is rant about my personal, friendship and relationship problems. OH, the joy of being able to mention names again ........ *evil laugh*
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Jaclyn and I spent last night totally goofing around in true blue Jaclyn+Eliza style. :D
The last month has just been so surreal... Jaclyn with her school and NS problems, me with my friendship and relationship problems. It all ended up pretty good, though. ;) Now we're back to our crazy and horny selves, yo!
I think that I've kind of lost a friend, whom I used to be quite close with. Over reasons that are REALLY uncalled for on both our parts. There is a big part of me that just feels like apologizing and playing the Mr Nice Guy role ...... But one thing about me, I can't pretend that nothing is bugging me when it IS.
Seriously, would you rather me be nice to you and talk to you behind your back, or would you rather me not be nice at all?
I'm sorry, but I would pick the second one. I can't act like nothing is wrong when I can't stand someone's attitude. And seriously, if you can't stand me, do me a favour and just tell me off to my face, or just avoid me ... instead of talking about me behind my back or pretending that you still like me. At least I'd know that something is wrong. I'm too straight-forward to beat around the bushes and too lazy to play guessing games. ;)
Oh ya, we spent the night pigging out. Loadsa food and ice cream, though I KNOW I was supposed to go on that nonexistential diet.
Jaclyn discovered that her ice cream sorta resembled a ... dick. =.=''
"Wah dude, my ice cream looks like a penis!!"
me: "WAH! Take picture!" (wtf, I damn layan man)
"Dude!!", I exclaimed. "GLOW IN THE DARK WAN WEI!"
Then she decided to demonstrate her (potential) blow-job skills. OMG.
(btw, I know I sound like a retarded witch with my laugh)
I know, I know. We're SUPER lame. *grins*
Ohhh and I'll be going to Cameron Highlands on a weekend family getaway with my parents and Jaclyn (since we're practically sisters) this Saturday. :D
This is gonna be so fun. And exactly what I need. ;) Okay, time to sleep. Take care, all!
....... Maybe I'll dream of glow in the dark ice cream. Joking!
Phat Culture had a nightmare at 1:01 PM
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The blogger:
Lazy
Self-proclaimed cutie
Talented
Constantly lives in denial
Digs hot dark guys, Dean Koontz, black color, gaming, and pigging out.
Layout:*ahem* THIS LAYOUT IS ONLY TEMPORARY!!! I messed up the codes for my new one and I lost my previous one, wtf.