Monday, March 13, 2006 || Numb
- I don't freaking get it. Why are strangers saying Hi to me all the time? I don't mean, 'Hi' in an introductory way. I mean "Hi!" in a "Long time no see!" way. Just yesterday, at Wong Kok, some dude waved and grinned at me from another table ... He looked familiar, yes, but my battered mind just couldn't place him anywhere.
Last year, at a public toilet, two chicks who were admiring their own reflections gaped when they saw me, and claimed to know me from school. Just some time ago, a form 3 sales assistant stopped me and befriended me 'cuz apparently, she ALWAYS sees me in school. How is that possible, when I'm not even at school half the time I'm supposed to be?!
Which brings me to the big, fat, BEAR HUG the said form 3 sales assistant gave me two days ago when she bumped into me in Pearl Point hotel. Errrrrrrr....
Interesting. I think my memory just fails me. I always knew I was scatter-brained, but I can't believe I can't even remember people. :P
It's less than 24 hours till D-day. In a way, it is a turning point of my life. If I do THAT badly (TOUCH WOOD), I will probably have to retake, which would be a huge time wastage. If I do okay, I can move on with college, and move on with my life. If, a sudden miracle occurs and I do well, I can spare myself from the deadly wrath of my parents. =_=
Anyway, If I get okay or good results, I will be taking a trip to Frasers Hill for a holiday with my friends. If I do badly ... I won't go. As a punishment to myself, heh. I won't be going online anyway, either way. I guess I need a break away from civilization and people in general to really think out my next move.
Despite what people think of me, I am not rash or immature. Yep, sure, I skipped school a lot and I totally disregarded my studies ever since I was forced into science stream by everybody after I got straight As for PMR, when I wanted Arts. I know that I deserve to do badly, but that is a price I already knew I would pay in the first place.
So yup, I believe that I will get through this fine. I think that I'm stubborn enough to pull through.
I seriously can't wait to OFFICIALLY close that chapter of my life. I loved my high school friends, but for reasons I don't want to delve on, I hated high school. I don't really care how everybody goes, 'You'll miss high school once it's over, I did!', I still would NEVER go back to it. I don't miss it at all. I can't even begin to describe how glad I was on the last day of school, when quite a lot of people were feeling nostalgic. :p
I hate the fact that I'm going to have to step into that hellhole again tomorrow. Hopefully for the last time. I'm not planning to tell anyone, not even Jaclyn, my results, even if I do really well. It means that much to me, that I just can't wait to leave it behind me.
I might update tomorrow, I might not. Around this time tomorrow, I seriously can't predict how will I be feeling. Hmm.
The suspense is killing me. I wanna get it over and done with!!!
