Sunday, March 12, 2006 || A "Let's Piss Liz Off" session.
- I just finished watching War and Beauty, that hyped up TVB series that had so many reruns on Astro, and had all the housewives gossiping and bitching about it.
I proclaim myself disappointed.
But hey, what did I expect from a wah lai toi TVB drama? Despite being the best TVB show of 2005, I found it boring and predictable as the show proceeded. Some parts were way too draggy, and the women were not cunning enough. I saw through all their evil plots even before I was supposed to know, which proves that I am more evil and cunning than a bunch of beautiful, revengeful, sex-starved ladies.
Despite what people said about them, Gigi Lai and Sheren Tang were the ONLY reasons I actually watched the whole thing.
*grins*
Let's piss Liz off
Yoyoyo ma homies, welcome to a much-anticipated, highly-awaited session of Let's Piss Liz Off! Brought to you by Eliza Lee, the
I, Eliza Lee, am the host for today. And today, I shall be interviewing none other than ...
*drum roll*
ELIZA LEE!
So, Liz, what's bothering you?
Nothing at all, really. Maybe it's the sheer stupidity of humankind, maybe it's the unveiling of the Deadly SPM results. Maybe it's just PMS, though I highly doubt it. Perhaps it's all the shit blogs with song lyrics and tacky one-liners that's getting to me, even though that is not my business.
Nah, I think it's the weather. DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW BLOODY HOT IS IT?
Wow, you do seem edgy ......
'Edgy' is NOT the word to describe it. Everybody is irritating me, I can't help it! My parents are starting to call me 'Lanun' instead of MY NAME. I even almost yelled at my homies today yo, which is something I have not done since .... forever. I do possess a gentle soul, you know.
And oh,
Maybe it has something to do with these:
Isn't Catherine Zeta Jones supposed to be gorgeous? Waddafuk is all this MAN VS WOMEN shit, yo? :(
And this enraged me even further!
Celebrities are human too, innit? Why is everybody exposing their flaws, trying to take fugly pictures of them in their 100% natural state without any gook on their faces?!
I PROCLAIM MYSELF PISSED, ON THEIR BEHALF! The world is an evil place. It is never safe for a famous person such as me to walk on the streets without make-up anymore.
Whoa whoa, chill girl. So how're you planning to rid yourself off your pissed-off state of mind?
First up, I am going to indulge in a lot of food. There ain't many PLEASURES in life, and eating is one of them.
Good food is better than an orgasm, aite. Since I don't seem to have much opportunities to achieve the latter, why sacrifice the former?! Yo, Britney is fat, and she still looks AMAZING.
......... Er.
What's next?
So Liz, any last words for your hoard of devoted fans?
First up, I KNOW I'm gorgeous and all that shit, but seriously, darlings, you guys need to understand the phrase 'thou shall not take Liz as an airheaded, brainless bimbo'.
For instance, if you're pleading for my attention like most males are (HAHAHA), you really shouldn't misuse friendster and all it's UBER DUPER WONDERFUL FEATURES LIKE 'SEND A SMILE' OR 'SEND A SMELLY ROSE'.
Even messages that start with "Hihi" and end with "Baibai" is a SIN. Honestly, at least come up with something original like 'I am at a loss for words at the alluring and sensual aura that your profile pictures exude......'.
A-an-and ... Never try to scam innocent, pretty, young girls
I know, darlings, I am model material. (LOL!! *falls off chair*)
But really, what do you take me for? A stupid, innocent young girl? Ah, the horror of it all! My big doe-like eyes are widening in horror, and my breath is quickening at the monstrosity!
...........................
FOR SUCH AN UNKNOWN AGENCY DOES NOT QUALIFY TO REPRESENT ME! HAH! Words of wisdom, brothers.
Err ... okay. It sounds like a scam. Anyway, how does it feel like to be interviewed by your beautiful self on the first episode of "Let's Piss Off Liz"?
I feel absolutely wonderful! It is great.I am in the process of producing a season 2, should the need arise. So you lovely people out there have a jolly good time, aite? Mwahs!
I KNOW THAT WAS LAME. BUT IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO DESCRIBE MY PISSED STATE WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A PMS-ish PRUDE. The only way I deal with anger is to use humour to override the anger. Grr.
I watched Final Destination 3. *shivers* Damn scared now ...
