Tuesday, March 14, 2006 || D-day.
- Okay, so D-day is finally here.
I already got my results. Let's just say my results are EXACTLY what I expected, but not entirely what I hoped for.
I think I deserved to cry. I really felt like I should cry. But somehow, the tears were just not there ... in fact, for some funny reason, I didn't even really FEEL anything. I was numb to all emotions ... Or maybe the emotions weren't meant to be there in the first place?
I didn't say Hi to many people in school today, even though I should have. Stepping back into high school was weird enough. Having your class teacher beam at you, and who still apparently remembers you, AND is still as friendly as ever is even weirder. Seriously, Pn Asima, you're the best. I hate school and everything, but I really REALLY liked my form teacher, who gave me a lot of confidence in my english and writing. O_o
Haha ... Me? Actually respecting and liking a teacher? Surprising, no? But I really do like her, anyway. Should I ever get any glamourous award of any sort, I will DEFINITELY remember her in my acceptance speech. hahaha!
See, I am such a sad case right now. I feel so ... relieved and happy, yet so sad. Hahaha. My mind is so incoherent right now. I feel like I belong in an asylum or a psychotic ward.
Anyway, I guess that everything's in perspective already, after today. I'm never going to shortchange myself again. I'm better than that. My results are not ... bad, but it's a pretty big blow to my pride. I NEVER want to feel this way again ... relieved in a sadistic way. -_-
I'm going to Frasers. Yeap, my results are not THAT bad.
THIS is a time to make a change, Liz. I'm pretty sure that everybody has noticed this --- I have not been myself much lately. I mean, even in my blog, I used to be more cheerful and happy, right?!
I think I just need some time off to seriously mull things over. There are a lot of crisises in my life that I have to deal with, most of them I don't really want even my closest friends to know. I'm quite disappointed with myself in many ways (not results lah, mind you), and I will somehow pull myself back together again. The Eliza Lee I used to know was better than this. Tsk tsk tsk.
Wish me a happy and enlightening trip to Frasers. :)
I want to come home a better person. Hehehe.
