Saturday, October 07, 2006 || A post you should ignore
- Note: Gonna post up pics of my room tomorrow. =) Sorry for all the mushy emoness.
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I tried, I really did. I tried my best to be your friend, your sister, or whatever it is that lies below the boundaries of lovers ... I tried to be a listening ear whenever you wanted to talk on the phone, or merely a friend to hang out with. That's what's best for us, isn't it?
I even told you about the cute 25 year old, and even that other cute guy I used to like. You feigned interest, but did you really care?
This is gonna make me sound like an emotional wreck, or maybe it's just because of the huge lack of sleep, but when I reached home today, I cried. Goddammit, I miss you and I want you. Only you. When other people try to be nice to me, I feel even shittier, cause I just wish everything they did and said came from you.
The rare phone calls and meet-ups are not enough anymore. I can't do this. I can't see you and not fall for you over and over again. It feels like I'm on a rollercoaster ride everytime I see you - I feel exhilirated, dangerous, and thrilled. I feel so alive everytime I discover something new about you. I die everytime I'm reminded that nothing will ever happen between us anymore. My heart fucking DIES.
You once said you'd always be there for me. I need you now. More than I ever needed anybody. Where are you when I need you the most?
It saddens me that I don't even really want to know the answer to that question.
P.S I cried when I was listening to this song just now. Ah damn. Emoness. Time to sleep it off ...
Go download the song from that page! Damn sad. Or at least to me, since it hit a nerve for me.
