Friday, January 20, 2006 || A waiter story. And me.
- *personal post*
So not too long ago, I blogged about that waiter who gave me this N-gage rubber thing (Uh, I still don't know what's it called.), and I knew that our paths would cross again. Well, duh, I go to his cafe at least 3 times a week... It is plainly inevitable, yeah? My best friends, Cally, Jaclyn and I love this place, cause it has fabulous nasi lemak.
Just two or three days ago, I think, we went to that cafe again. And of course, the dude was there. Well, I did make it a point to try to be friendlier, yada yada, but I doubt that I actually succeeded. Yeah, I do speak cantonese pretty well, but ah, I can't be in full-on crap mode all the time, right?
(It's just me, but whenever I socialize with, erm, "la las", I HAVE to crap. Or have entirely nothing to talk about with them. And no, it's not prejudice, not really. =/)
So he came to our table, as usual. Jaclyn, Cally and I were playing "I have never .........", so we didn't really speak to him much. But when we wanted to pay the bill and leave, he had a pretty interesting conversation with me.
*translated to english, though it's goddamn funny in canto*
He: "You look pretty today ..."
Me: (thinking: Wtf?) "Er ... Well ... I'm pretty all the time, hahaha!" (Remember my crap mode? -.-)
He: "Usually also very pretty already, but today you look prettier wor dunno why."
Me: "Uh ... Eh-heh ... very good ..."
Jaclyn started sniggering and Cally pretended to be oblivious and SMSed her boyfriend. Actually, it SHOULD be a hugeass ego boost for me, right? But, heh, I don't believe that shit.
He: "Are you leaving now already?"
Me: "Yeap."
He: "You ...... can?"
Actually it isn't exactly like that, but I do not know how to translate the words from canto. Argh.
Me: "Huh? Can what? My friends are leaving now as well ... "
He: "You ... won't miss anything?"
WHAT THE HOLY COWASS F*.
Me: "Haha... Miss you, issit? *smirks a bit*"
Him: "I know I'll miss you."
WTFWTFWTFWTWFWTWFWTWFWTF. I was absolutely stunned, shocked, and horrified. I mean, what the, my friends were at the same table. Actually, the word wasn't 'miss', but I don't really know the exact translation for that cantonese word.
BUT STILL. Well, hey, I know I shouldn't be so perasan and all, but I actually think that this dude is seriously flirting with me. It's worse in real life, I'm not paranoid.
So Jaclyn started laughing her ass off, and when she saw my face, she said to him, in a half joking, half condescending tone, "Eh friend, don't kau my friend in front of me or doing anything funny, can or not?"
Which is funny, cause he ignored her and took the bill for us. -_-
Well, anyway, I have no idea, nor do I really care what is he up to, because I am indifferent to it all (except for the occasional shocked states, haha). He could be playing around to amuse his own mind and go 'Oh lookie, chicko's mindf*cked by me! Ha-ha!', or he could be serious. Err. Though I would actually prefer the former, haha. Besides, what on earth is he thinking? I honestly think that my friends are more attractive, nicer, and friendlier than me. And I actually do mean that, not faking modesty for the sake of it.
Ah, but that dude is actually not the main point of this post.
I think I'm changing and morphing into a whole, different person. Because when I analyze myself, the way I've been acting, speaking, and such ... I've realized that I am damn different from the person I used to be. Though, I don't really expect any of you guys to relate or understand this because I haven't changed here, right? Or have I?
For example, take the weird foreigner incident. And this waiter thing. I know that at one point of my life, if somebody actually said 'Don't lie, you are lying to me, I know.' to me, in face, I would ask him or her to wank off.
Or take the waiter, for example. At some point or other, the mere fact that he was a bit annoying was enough for me to say 'f*ck off' to him.
But apparently, judging by my NATURAL, unplanned reactions to the both of them (and other people, heh), I am definitely confident that I'm different from the 'old' me. Now, I don't even use the F word anymore. (Unless I'm freaked out beyond imagination, like the time I saw the ghost or whatever.) And then I think, crap, what am I turning into?!?!??!?!?!
I DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT. I SWEAR.
Okay lah, I'm not bragging or anything. Just because I've been more, hmm, mellow lately doesn't make me any better than the person that I was.
I came online just now, and chatted with Chris for awhile. Which was sort of cool, because I was just telling Jac that I hardly see her or talk to her much these days. And she told me about her new life, that her friends were all so different from us, and that things have changed so much.
"yeah... but seriously i would prefer if you guys are in college with me.... at least i dont feel sesat sometimes...."
Wah, I'm feeling damn emo now.
I hate changes. Okay, I love the exhiliration and thrill of pursuing something new ... But there are things in life that I would never trade for the world. My family and friends, for instance. And of course ... Me. The person I am. The qualities in me that make me, well, me, good and bad alike.
I know that I have changed. My perspectives in life has changed. Suddenly, I'm feeling so somber and so mellow ... And it all happened in merely a span of a few months.
What happened to the reckless, foul-mouthed girl? What happened to the girl who would make stupid sex-related jokes in public? Nowadays, when I feel like using the F word, I would actually go "What the f .... Um. Sorry ...", when just not too long ago, the F word was a damn big part of my daily vocabulary.
Do I miss that girl? Yeah, I actually do. Because when I'm not being her, I feel so vulnerable. So weak, heh.
I've realized that everybody around me is sort of changing as well. Dad and I aren't really fighting at all anymore (we used to bicker almost everyday, ah.) ... our daily fights have almost turned into jokes. Mum is going out and starting to socialize more, which is good. My school best friends aren't talking that much anymore. Jaclyn is ....... still Jaclyn (I'm grateful for that -_-).
Just now, in the apartment garden, had a pretty serious talk with Jaclyn, before I came home and chatted online with Chris.
"I didn't change that much ... Right? But yet, I feel so different." I said.
"No, not really. Not that much anyway. I know I didn't change, haha, though I think I'll have to, someday. But I don't want to change ... smack me if I ever become somebody I'm not k."
"I just ... don't want life to change that much. Not yet. Not now."
(*side note* Okok, I know we look superficial and crappy, from the stupid assumptions that people naturally make about us. But we trust each other a lot, and we talk about everything. Stupid nonsense, family secrets, our love lives and whatnots. Not everybody has a best friend, not in the truest sense of the phrase ... But I'm happy that I do. I appreciate ya for listening to all my stupid ponderings, even when they're entirely rubbish, because I couldn't even talk about those crap with any of the people I 'dated'... *emo*)
I don't know about you, but I like evaluating myself. Why do I always fall for guys that have NOTHING in common with me? What do I have against ah bengs and guys who use way too much hair gel? Why do I like writing so much, even though I'm not good at it at all? ... Why, of all the people in the world, am I Eliza Lee?
I think that I'm learning how to moderate myself, and that I'm slowly learning how to adapt and accept people that are different from me. :P But still, I wouldn't want to become a judgemental person, because I know what it feels like to be misunderstood and judged. (The feeling sucks.) I wouldn't want to scrunch my nose whenever any of my friends smoked. I really wouldn't want to act all girly and manja just for the sake of being more appealing to the opposite sex, because then, it wouldn't really be me. I really have nothing else to offer except, erm, me.
But suddenly, as I'm sitting on the computer chair, typing out this shit ... My dog saunters in and plops herself lazily on my lap. I can hear my dad's music blasting from his room, and my mother is jokingly nagging me, as usual.
"Seriously, girl, you're not doing anything at all. You should go out and work. But really lah, I think I should advertise in the newspapers already ... Eighteen year old chinese girl seeking twenty three to twenty six year old working man for friendship or marriage. Must be chinese, God-loving, rich, and loves his future mother-in-law. Hahahaha!"
(I swear, she said that.)
And then I'm reminded that some things never change. And I'm mightily glad for that.
I came online just now, and chatted with Chris for awhile. Which was sort of cool, because I was just telling Jac that I hardly see her or talk to her much these days. And she told me about her new life, that her friends were all so different from us, and that things have changed so much.
"yeah... but seriously i would prefer if you guys are in college with me.... at least i dont feel sesat sometimes...."
Wah, I'm feeling damn emo now.
I hate changes. Okay, I love the exhiliration and thrill of pursuing something new ... But there are things in life that I would never trade for the world. My family and friends, for instance. And of course ... Me. The person I am. The qualities in me that make me, well, me, good and bad alike.
I know that I have changed. My perspectives in life has changed. Suddenly, I'm feeling so somber and so mellow ... And it all happened in merely a span of a few months.
What happened to the reckless, foul-mouthed girl? What happened to the girl who would make stupid sex-related jokes in public? Nowadays, when I feel like using the F word, I would actually go "What the f .... Um. Sorry ...", when just not too long ago, the F word was a damn big part of my daily vocabulary.
Do I miss that girl? Yeah, I actually do. Because when I'm not being her, I feel so vulnerable. So weak, heh.
I've realized that everybody around me is sort of changing as well. Dad and I aren't really fighting at all anymore (we used to bicker almost everyday, ah.) ... our daily fights have almost turned into jokes. Mum is going out and starting to socialize more, which is good. My school best friends aren't talking that much anymore. Jaclyn is ....... still Jaclyn (I'm grateful for that -_-).
Just now, in the apartment garden, had a pretty serious talk with Jaclyn, before I came home and chatted online with Chris.
"I didn't change that much ... Right? But yet, I feel so different." I said.
"No, not really. Not that much anyway. I know I didn't change, haha, though I think I'll have to, someday. But I don't want to change ... smack me if I ever become somebody I'm not k."
"I just ... don't want life to change that much. Not yet. Not now."
(*side note* Okok, I know we look superficial and crappy, from the stupid assumptions that people naturally make about us. But we trust each other a lot, and we talk about everything. Stupid nonsense, family secrets, our love lives and whatnots. Not everybody has a best friend, not in the truest sense of the phrase ... But I'm happy that I do. I appreciate ya for listening to all my stupid ponderings, even when they're entirely rubbish, because I couldn't even talk about those crap with any of the people I 'dated'... *emo*)
I don't know about you, but I like evaluating myself. Why do I always fall for guys that have NOTHING in common with me? What do I have against ah bengs and guys who use way too much hair gel? Why do I like writing so much, even though I'm not good at it at all? ... Why, of all the people in the world, am I Eliza Lee?
I think that I'm learning how to moderate myself, and that I'm slowly learning how to adapt and accept people that are different from me. :P But still, I wouldn't want to become a judgemental person, because I know what it feels like to be misunderstood and judged. (The feeling sucks.) I wouldn't want to scrunch my nose whenever any of my friends smoked. I really wouldn't want to act all girly and manja just for the sake of being more appealing to the opposite sex, because then, it wouldn't really be me. I really have nothing else to offer except, erm, me.
But suddenly, as I'm sitting on the computer chair, typing out this shit ... My dog saunters in and plops herself lazily on my lap. I can hear my dad's music blasting from his room, and my mother is jokingly nagging me, as usual.
"Seriously, girl, you're not doing anything at all. You should go out and work. But really lah, I think I should advertise in the newspapers already ... Eighteen year old chinese girl seeking twenty three to twenty six year old working man for friendship or marriage. Must be chinese, God-loving, rich, and loves his future mother-in-law. Hahahaha!"
(I swear, she said that.)
And then I'm reminded that some things never change. And I'm mightily glad for that.
