Thursday, December 08, 2005 || Being antisocial is NOT good.
- Listening to - Bob Marley - Don't worry, Be happy
Mood - ... Okay.
Wah, it's funny how most bloggers my age I know seem to update a lot less AFTER SPM than even during SPM.
I think that it's just a phase. Everything in life is just a phase ... Blogging too, I guess? I've realized that I haven't checked my traffic for at least five days now. And I can't seem to be too bothered either.
Suddenly, it seems like it doesn't matter anymore if anybody reads this or not. Somehow, it was strangely satisfying to traffic whore ...... Ah, those were the days. Maybe some day I'll feel the need to whore my blog again.
Maybe I won't.
Either way, I doubt that anyone'd care. =P
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Anyway, I've just realized what an utterly antisocial person I am. Which is sad. =(
Talking it over with a few different people ... We've all concluded that in life, certificates, academic excellence and whatnots will never be as useful as ... connections. Relationships with others. The power of likeability factors.
...... Which I lack. I'm willing to bet RM100 that I'm NOT likeable at all. -_-;; Neither do I have much talent in, erm, connections.
And my point was proven yesterday. My friend brought along this male friend of hers from TAR for a yum cha session with us.... And he was sorta lala. No, make that VERY lala.
But one thing good about most la-las or ah bengs ... they are pretty friendly people. And one thing about them, they are DAMN dramatic ... and damn layan. Which means they laugh their asses at your lame jokes and gasp at almost everything you say, regardless of how stupid it is.
Him: (in canto) So you have a boyfriend yet? SURELY GOT LA!
Me: (in english) Er. Nope ... Too fat lah, I am.
Him: (in canto) HAHAHAHAHAHA! NO LAH! HAHAHAHA ... You're soooooo FUNNY. HAHAHAHA.
Me: (in english mixed canto) Err ... Hehe. I know I'm funny ... HA-HA ...... ha.
Unlike my other friends, who were PERFECTLY friendly and as, err, dramatic as him ... I simply CANNOT seem to adjust to different people and be likeable to all sorts of people from different walks of life. I can't laugh when your jokes are not funny, unlike a lot of people I know. I can't make intelligent and interesting conversation with people whom I have nothing in common with, or people I have no interest in.
-_- Which is bad for me, in the long run I think.
And today, when I went job hunting in Megamall, it was SO disastrous. My friend got a job at Remona almost immediately, cause she managed to bullshit her way into it.
Me: Eh? Since when do YOU have two years of experience working?!
Her: Aiya. These kinda things ... must bullshit wan.
And when most walk-in interviewers asked ME about my sales experience, I really could not bring myself to bullshit about working in handphone shops in the past or anything of the sort. -_-
... Which means I'll most probably have to find a job someplace else. *wipes tear* HAHA!
I'm actually damn comfortable, being the sort of solitude-loving person that I am. I LOVE being alone. Of course, I love being with my friends even more, but I usually don't like hanging out in big groups. For me, its quality over quantity... But in the real world, the truth is, the more popular ones have things easier for them in life. =(
I think I'm really weird. Before my SPM, I used to go to Taman Jaya alone to write poetry on the grasss, while watching people jog. I really found the fact that SO many people are struggling and sweating their asses off just to live up to the stereotypical standard of beauty amazingly funny. =P
That's it. I'm a loner. =_= I guess I really need to learn how to communicate with people more, uh, efficiently. I used to say SO often that I hated judgemental people ...... And suddenly, I've realized that I am one too. Tsk.
But in my case, it's not so much of me being judgemental ... It's just that I don't give a damn most of the time. But that's probably bad. Cause when I don't give a damn about other people ... its highly likely that other people'll not give a damn about ME as well. =/
Funny how when I feel like it, I can be extremely friendly and charming ... so people have told me. I guess I'll have to learn how to make that a more permanent mark in my personality trait. LOL.
Life is crazy. It really is.
...... But I guess that the fact that everyone is different makes the world a much more interesting place. Even people like ME. :D
...... And I still hate changing to suit other people's needs. But at this point of my life, I want nothing more than to be a better person......
EDITED: And oh, I've started playing Maple Story again ........ It seems like I'm slowly embracing my past addictions again after SPM. LOL. I used to be very addicted to anime and games, back in form 3 and I was still an innocent 15 year old. =)
... In form four, I was too busy loitering around and having fun, so I stopped playing games and watching animes.
But now, here I am, playing Maple story again. Ahh, the place is familiar. -_- Who plays it, add me in MSN! (Only cause I'm still a newbie and I'm planning to suck up to people to get them to leech me ... LOL)
