Monday, September 26, 2005 || Turning over a new leaf :(
- Okay, Liz has decided to turn over a new leaf. Hooray?
I wonder what got into me yesterday. It must've been a serious, serious case of guilt conscience. Yes, thank you very much, Joshua, for making me feel as guilty as sin. =D
And I actually came up with a list of to-dos, for myself, since I AM going to change. Or at least, try my best to.
1) I will try my best to hold my tongue, and not curse too much.
2) I shall try my best, in all circumstances, to smile sweetly at my parents, regardless of how annoyed I am.
3) I will not think before I speak, for this is really absurd, come to think of it.
4) I should start calling everyone names like Dear, Darling, Angel or Baby, instead of the usual Stupid or Ass.
5) I will maintain my wicked sense of humour, but I will not gloat at other people's misfortunes, like the time my friends laughed their asses off at a bespectacled guy with buck teeth, who tried to hit on C, and I laughed along with them.
6) I will try my best not to break all rules, though I still believe that rules are made to be broken, or the world'd be such a boring place.
7) I will read my bible more, and be a better example to my slightly more 'sesated' friends.
...... Well, seven is enough. Seven is the holy number, after all. And believe me, even though I'm trying my best not to be too hard on myself, it's pretty hard to keep it up. Sigh.
Friend: You know, I dig guys with afro hair-dos. Or mohawks. Yummy.
Me: You're f-- Uh. I mean. Yeah, you're weird.
Friend: Eh? Trying to mellow it down ar, Eliza? Haha ... I'll give it two days.
Err. Well. I AM trying! God save me, bad habits are like super glue ... And also, I'm trying to get rid of my evil smirk. Really. And I've decided to eat as much as I want, without stressing out about my weight, and we'll see how it goes ....... hah. Oh well, who cares if I get fat? Ish.
I think I should think twice about calling everybody nice nicknames. I don't know, I just have a thing about addressing people with their real names. -_- I usually go for 'Dude', for people I don't know that well, 'Oi' for people I semi-know, and more offensive ones for the people that I'm really close with. Sigh.
Of course, I still call my parents mum and dad, lah.
I have a back ache, and a slight case of migraine. Ugh. Someone give me a massage or something? T_T
And, before I begin my slow and subtle transformation, and turn myself over to the good side, I have some last words. Written while the Mr Hyde in me still reigns.
To whomever it may concern:
Please do forgive me if I burst, for I am not thinking straight, and may come off as offensive, under such ridiculous circumstances. For gone is my sanity, to the darkest and most shadowy ends of the earth.
And may I be touched by the hands of Patience, for without her, I am sure to jump right into the boiling rivers of hell. Please bless me that I may be able to tolerate a certain few doltish, stupid and depressingly narrow-minded people that seem to seek to annoy the pants off me. May I not speak my mind, and label them disgusting twerps, to their faces.
To a certain member of the male species, that called me a bitch not too long ago because I never bothered saying Hi nor did I bother replying because I away and irritated by your presence. God bless you. Thank you very much for adding me again, and bombarding my MSN with requests of certain tips on how to pick up girls, and various flirtation techniques. And of course, the nudges. Very nice and thoughtful of you, but even nicer and more thoughtful of me for attempting to be less of a "conceited bitch" and trying my best to talk to you, as a potential friend.
I failed. I apologize, but please stop talking to me about hitting on girls ten years your junior, you *bleep*ing pedophile. I'm simply not interested, nor am I experienced enough to offer advice on that. Simply put, you are a dick.
And to that other dude, who sends me at least 10 nudges in a span of three minutes, bugging me to meet you ... Bugger off. Gah. I feel so much better after getting that off my chest.
Oh, before I forget, the three asses who were driving a Proton Waja, who stopped in front of me, at the bus stop, and honked really loudly, thus almost causing me a major heart-attack. Screw you. I do not intend to die so young, thank you very much.
I am in no way bullshitting, nor am I being overly 'perasan' or sensitive. I usually do not bother much, but I guess my patience is reaching its limits, and I do not want to be like Jaclyn, who nearly karate-kicked some twit the other day, for getting on her nerves. I did not have the priviledge to acquire any form of martial arts, and I still regret that.
To those who think that they're better, smarter and more talented than me, and have told me that straight to my face. Continue wallowing yourselves in your bulging egos, while you still can, and await the day when I'll painfully prove you wrong.
To the people who love me. I love you too.
To my parents, who never trusted me with anything and think that I'm a weak shadow of my very capable and beautiful older sister. I honestly believe that I was the one who was born with the potential, and my sister was born with the guts. It's just too bad that I couldn't have both. But I will now.
And as for the Malay Trials exam, which I screwed up, because I was high on a caffeine overdose and migraine, may I be blessed with Amnesia, that I will forget the RINGKASAN that I did, instead of the RUMUSAN. That is why, how I got the highest for my essay paper, which was on the same day, is beyond me. Peace to my brains.
And to my real friends, who've accepted me for who I am, and have been there for me throughout the years, no matter how big of a prick I was, I love you all.
I'm glad I wrote this. Now I can put it all behind me, and move on.
Cheers,
Eliza
Dr Jekyll, here I come.
