Wednesday, July 26, 2006 || Unrequited love -_-
- I'm going through a phase, darlings. Right now, I seem to be totally going on a full-blown UNREQUITED LOVE phase. Which actually, if you've been reading my blog for some time, you'd notice that I always go through phases: like my self-obsessed phase, my camho phase, horny stage and majorly insecure phase.
Fuiyo.
Anyway, I just talked to my guy friend, who was majorly emo. Over kinda valid reasons too, I guess. See, this girl he likes, he's done a whole shitload of really nice things for her; and yet she doesn't notice him at all. O_o
And he was damn emo and kinda funny too, cause he kept on whining along the lines of "I dowan to be a guy lah. Damn hard lah. You shiok lah, you girl." ... HAHA. Damn freaking sexist wei!
I, of course, defended my own kind. Like what the hell lah, girls get into that kinda whole one-sided love shit too okay.
"Honestly ah, if *Mark asked me really nicely when I liked him, I would've licked his foot if he wanted it okay." (me) *not his real name
"Gross lah you wtf. But if she asked me to do it I would've done it also loh."
"I think we are in the same boat. NONONO scratch it - were in the same boat. No more Mark and *girl* for us anymore!!!"
Which led to an intense discussion. I mean like, look at me, I'm a fairly okay-looking (means not fugly lah), relatively normal, not that bitchy girl ... who fell for a totally zoned-out religious dude whose main goal in life is to start dating only at the age of 21. Who isn't even good looking at all OMG.
"*Mark sounds a bit weird for a guy loh ..."
"He IS weird .... a bit. You know ah, I actually thought his dating at twenty one thing was soooo admirable and noble when I found out. MY GOD!"
"Err ... I guess he's your type"
"Oh noooo ........... "
So theoretically, at the peak of my "adoration and love" for Mark, if this ALMOST-below-average looking guy asked me to wipe his shoes with my nose, I might have just done so. Just like all the dumb things my guy friend did for the oblivious, mean girl. Boo hoo hoo.
I tell you ah, there was this one time when "Mark" told me I looked better without my grey contact lenses ( my favourite birthday prez ever), I was THIS <----> close to throwing my contacts away.
WTF! What happened to girl power yo! I almost succumbed to ... a .... GUY. *gasp* And a kinda weird one too, at that. I asked all my friends if I looked shittier with the contact lenses, and all of my friends called him a cow-shitter.
... And I almost scolded my friends for that. WAH.
Honestly, I feel damn stupid. It all sums up to one thing: I am like, dumb. The smartest thing I did was to figure out that a weird undeserving guy (albeit very caring and nice) didn't really deserve all my endless devotion. Man, come to think of it, one of the reasons I was so gung-ho in quitting all the vulgar words I occasionally used was cause he doesn't use them at all.
Okay at least I didn't buy flowers, shoes, and so many dinners for the said guy, like what my guy friend did for the object of his desires. *blinks* Though I ALMOST bought him a pair of shoes that he merely mentioned in passing he thought was really nice.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.
Okay end of confession. Now I shall continue pondering why was I so STUPID while trying to sleep, and probably end up dreaming of why am I so STUPID.
Actually, I guess it isn't really that bad lah. It also means that even though I do extremely stupid things for undeserving people, it also means that I'm a hopeless romantic, sweet girl at heart! Yeah!
.... Eww.
