Sunday, April 16, 2006 || Another crossroad
- My dad gave me a freaking blood pressure bracelet for my birthday.
God, I was torn apart. I was feeling distressed and disappointed ... yet kinda amused.
Anyway
Went to Chilis with Christine and Suet Foong yesterday. =)
I have not seen Suet since CNY, it was nice to see her again and hang out like we used to. *emo*
Ex-partner-in-school and I.
Awww I missed those chat sessions. =(
This is a blah picture of me, but look! Chris looks so gorgeous.
Err ... me in chilis.
Chris's scrutinizing her own camera after camwhoring. Suet's looking dubious.
Fish 'N chips ... which was only so-so. =(
Chris and her humongous beef sandwich. :P
Must camwhore a bit ...
I like this pic, I dunno why.
And I played with photoshop a bit :D
Quite cool eh?
After exchanging a few emails with a newly-found old best friend of mine, I've come to the conclusion that I don't like her.
Erm ... I don't mean it in a really bad way. I'm just saying that she has become the type of person that I generally avoid.
She's become really really gorgeous (wah, this I'll admit), bimbotic and sorta narrow-minded. You know, the typical gorgeous cheerleader everybody loves and hates. And if it weren't for old time's sake, we wouldn't even be talking at all. O_o
So it suddenly hit me --- if she has evolved to become the type of person I don't really like ... It would probably be exactly the same for her, right?
God knows, maybe all my friends who've lost contact with me in the past will hate me so much if they see me now. I think I've changed quite a lot as well, nowadays I find myself feeling so overconfident at times I almost feel damn cocky.
Maybe many of them are, like, 'God, Eliza has grown up to be such a materialistic bitch. Ugh!'
Errrr ... that's quite interesting.
(BTW a chick I totally don't know beamed at me, waved and went 'HI!' to me at MV yesterday. Which is like, freaky. I mean, I could tell that she really recognized me, or she wouldn't be so friendly ... but I don't remember her. I just went along with the flow and pretended I knew her as well. I think I have amnesia. Shit.)
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I'm gonna go register at college next week.
But I'm sooooo confused right now!!!
I mean, I more or less decided on Mass comm ... but the more I think about it, the less potential I see in this course. God knows, I probably suck at PR and media/journo etc. I'm predicting that I'll do at least okay in 'em ... but who knows, right?
And tons of people are taking up mass comm, which means the competition is gonna be intense, man.
Then I started thinking about the money factor. I think that I'm quite an honest person, so I'll admit straight out that being rich is one of my goals in life. I wanna make shitload of money, cause my family is basically quite poor, and I don't have a financial foundation. To break out of our current "financial status", I'd have to make a LOT of money. -_-
And one of the only ways to do that is ... business. *eek*
Lotsa people tell me things like "money is not essential" and "I'm working for interest, not money" ... if you're working in a field that you LOVE and you're still roping in the cash, good for you. If you have insanely rich parents or a family business, good for you. =(
If you're just mediocre ... like me, and are not striving for something more ... then your kids will grow up in the exact same environment as you did, etc etc.
Of course money isn't everything. Far from it. But I wanna let my kids (if I don't get married I'll freaking adopt. bwahaha.) have all the things I did not. I don't want to pressure them into getting a scholarship OR ELSE be stuck in Malaysia forever. I want everybody that means something to me to have all the options that I don't.
I can't even begin to describe how much it SUCKS to see all your friends leaving Msia to study abroad, one by one. When it has always been your own dream to travel in the first place. Chris'll be the first to go ... Suet'll probably be the next. Then Ivy.
And I'll be stuck here in Msia. I love Msia, but I don't want to die not knowing what its like to live somewhere else. That's tragedy. =(
Blah. Damn emo.
So should I take up something that I'm sort of interested in but will probably not have that many opportunities in the future OR something that I'm not that interested in, but if I strike it well, I'll fulfill one of my dreams?
Something that'll require talent/creativity or something that'll require ruthless manipulation, cunning wit and brains?
I have SO MUCH thinking to do. =_=
