Monday, February 06, 2006 || Times Change
- So I was daydreaming just now ... and this thought suddenly crossed my mind; I've noticed that I have never been in a physical fight with anyone before.
I have never slapped anyone before. Not my friends, not my enemies.
I've always found bitch fights scary, because girls have nails. And long hair.
So I have never laid my hands forcefully on another human being before, unless playfully ... Which can only be a good thing, right? I don't believe that ANY human on earth, be it my parents, bf, husband, whatever, has the rights to lay hands on me to physically harm me. And neither can I hit them.
If any of my friends or future husband ever tried to hit me, the relationship would end the second his hands touched my skin. It's that serious.
I wonder why was I thinking about that, of all things. =/ My mind works in mysterious way ... Trust me, I have a very VERY wild imagination, and I mentally think up a lot of crap. Even crap that I shouldn't be thinking about. But, you know ... that's where I draw most of the inspiration for my stories from. =)
I haven't been writing stories much at all, since December, but I absolutely adore and love it. No matter how much I'll stray in life ... writing will always be my #1 love. I may not be good at it (check out my stories, haha!), but it's my solace and refuge in life.
Oh, what would I do if I hadn't discovered my love for it back in form four? I'd DIE without a sense of direction in life. Especially now, when I'm feeling so ... astray. O_o
But sometimes, Heaven can be found in little things. =)
... Like Japanese SALMON RICE. YUmmylicious, I swear ........
***
Wah, I am DAMN tired today. I woke up at friggin' 7 a.m and spent the whole day doing various unnecessarily crappy stuff with my friends.
... Like camwhoring. :p Oh yes, I look like a piece of turd. Nvm, will sleep more today.
Doing all these routine stuff with my friends, like lepaking in shopping malls and getting fat together, it made me feel so warm and comfortable, that I can still live this life without any feelings of regret or guilt. =/
I know it isn't going to last forever. We'll HAVE to grow up, someday ... But whatever it is, I treasure this bliss. Now.
Speaking of which, I adore my friends. For an example, Christine and I made friends in form one, which was five years ago ... And we've only fought, what, one time? And that was only a measley squabble when we were still in our immature stage.....
Jaclyn and I, we've known each other for 9 years, which is a damn fking long time, and we've seriously only fought once. Over something that we've both sworn to NEVER fight over again, 'cause it's not worth our friendship.
And the one time we fought, we barely spoke for two months or so. Amazing or not? Our friends were so in awe of us, you know, because they expected our friendship to just fizzle out. Or, at least, that we wouldn't be best friends anymore. How can two immature, reckless, stubborn people survive such a BIG, DEEP wound in their friendship?
But we survived it. Inexplicably, indescribably, somehow we got through it, and went back to being best-EST friends.
Sad to say, though, I don't think I've ever been in love. I was definitely in lust with Ezra, DUH, who wouldn't be? ... But I never even dated him. Hmm, that is so sad. If I ever see him again, I'll rape him.
JK!!!
Actually, most of the time, I disregard love and BGRs, I never took anybody in the past seriously, because I think that they're pretty unnecessary, and takes off a bit too much time. But wouldn't it feel SO NICE? ... Even if only awhile?
Awwwwwww ... *hugs Fifi* Never mind, I'll always still have my dog! =)
Oh, another thing. I've realized that us girls, we get vainer and vainer as the years pass by. When I was 13 or 14, I SWORE to NEVER wear skirts/spaghettis and I vowed that I'll never waste money on makeup.
But when I was, like, 15, and I outgrew my fugly hair and face
... I realized that I could actually look good! (not being perasan, I just remember thinking that I didn't look that bad anymore)
Because when I was fugly, pimply and shit, I actually didn't really give a damn. I was ultra insecure and I'd shiver around guys, but it was all good, because I was still wearing baggy stuffs + no makeup.
... then when I was 15, I became curious, and I started buying cosmetics and all those gunk. But trust me, I looked like SHIT, because I think I overdid it.
Then when I was 16, I remember thinking that I look pretty good. Thus, I kept on eating and eating and eating until I put on all the weight I lost back in form 1, when I was still suicidal and depressed. Cause, uh, I suddenly bloated with confidence. Tsk.
... Then when I was 17, I discovered the art of camwhoring, and I became as vain and as fat as ever. Haha. I used makeup, still, but not a lot anymore. Only when I was in a girly mood. -.- Of course, I remember thinking that I'm very pretty.
Not being overly narcissistic lah, but my theory is this: If YOU don't think you're good looking ... who else will, right? Ish.
So it looks like I'm still as gluttonous and as vain as ever. Shit.
A bit too overconfident also, sometimes.
NOOOOOOO.
........... I MISS the salmon rice. HEAVEN ON EARTH, I swear. If I ever marry a rich dude, I'll freaking eat salmon everyday. Cheese baked rice, too ....
And then I'll just get fatter and fatter, until he divorces me over some skinny young Marie France thing. =)
